Do your givin\u2019<\/p>\n
While you\u2019re livin\u2019<\/p>\n
Then you\u2019re knowin\u2019<\/p>\n
Where it\u2019s goin\u2019.547<\/p>\n
A pastor was talking to his farmer friend, and he asked the farmer, \u201cIf you had one hundred horses, would you give me fifty?\u201d The farmer said, \u201cCertainly.\u201d<\/p>\n
The pastor asked, \u201cIf you had one hundred cows, would you give me fifty?\u201d The farmer said, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then the pastor asked, \u201cIf you had two pigs, would you give me one?\u201d The farmer said, \u201cNow cut that out, pastor, you know I have two pigs!\u201d548<\/p>\n
A family sat down at the dinner table following church one Sunday.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe sermon was boring today,\u201d said the teenage son.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, could you believe how the pastor stumbled over the reading of the Scripture?\u201d his sister chimed in.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve got to admit it was an uninspiring day,\u201d said Mother. \u201cThe choir was terrible.\u201d<\/p>\n
Finally, father, showing his leadership, said, \u201cHush, you guys. Quit complaining. What did you expect for a quarter?\u201d549<\/p>\n
A rich man once asked his friend, \u201cWhy am I criticized for being miserly? Everyone knows I will leave everything to charity when I die.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d said the friend, \u201cLet me tell you about the pig who was lamenting to the cow one day about how unpopular he was. \u2018People are always talking about your gentleness and your kind eyes,\u2019 said the pig. \u2018Sure, you give milk and cream, but I give more. I give bacon, ham, bristles. They even pickle my feet! Still, nobody likes me. Why is this?\u2019 The cow thought a minute and replied, \u2018Well, maybe it\u2019s because I give while I\u2019m still living.\u2019 \u201d550<\/p>\n
For Cure of Cirrhosis of the Giver<\/p>\n
The disease cirrhosis of the giver was discovered in a.d. 34 by the husband-wife team of Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1\u201311). It is an acute condition that renders the patient\u2019s hands immobile when he is called on to move them in the direction of his wallet or her purse, and from thence to the offering plate. This strange malady is clinically unobservable in such surroundings as the golf club, supermarket, clothing store, or restaurant. Some try to use a fake remedy, pointing out to the patients that income tax deductions can be claimed for giving. The best therapy, and that which leads to a sure and lasting cure, is to get the individual\u2019s heart right with God. This affliction is actually a symptom of a more basic need of the soul.<\/p>\n
Prescribed Medication: Frequent doses of Romans 12:1 and Luke 9:23, accompanied by a dash of 2 Corinthians 9:7. This dosage will become quite pleasant if swallowed with a heaping tablespoon of Philippians 4:19!551<\/p>\n
A wealthy Texan was in the habit of giving his dad unique gifts on Father\u2019s Day. One year it was lessons on hang-gliding. The year before that it was the entire record collection of Slim Whitman\u2019s hits. But this past year he felt he had outdone himself. He purchased a rare kind of talking bird that could speak five languages and sing \u201cThe Yellow Rose of Texas\u201d while standing on one foot. The talented bird cost ten thousand dollars, but he felt it was worth every penny. This would be a Father\u2019s Day gift his dad would never forget.<\/p>\n
A week after Father\u2019s Day he called his father. \u201cDad, how did you like the bird?\u201d His father responded, \u201cIt was delicious!\u201d552<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Do your givin\u2019 While you\u2019re livin\u2019 Then you\u2019re knowin\u2019 Where it\u2019s goin\u2019.547 A pastor was talking to his farmer friend, and he asked the farmer, \u201cIf you had one hundred horses, would you give me fifty?\u201d The farmer said, \u201cCertainly.\u201d The pastor asked, \u201cIf you had one hundred cows, would you give me fifty?\u201d The … Continue reading “GIVING, HUMOROUS”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13554","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13554","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13554"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13554\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13554"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13554"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13554"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}