{"id":31069,"date":"2022-09-10T15:15:38","date_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:15:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/3-reasons-pastors-avoid-counseling-when-they-need-it\/"},"modified":"2022-09-10T15:15:38","modified_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:15:38","slug":"3-reasons-pastors-avoid-counseling-when-they-need-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/3-reasons-pastors-avoid-counseling-when-they-need-it\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Reasons Pastors Avoid Counseling When They Need It"},"content":{"rendered":"
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By Ben Mandrell<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cToo fast!\u201d my wife, Lynley, screamed as I drove down a steep hill caked in snow. The vehicle picked up speed like a roller coaster on the first fall.<\/p>\n

\u201cI grew up driving in this!\u201d I snapped, more than slightly annoyed that she doubted my driving. Moments later all six Mandrells were sledding sideways, out of control and bracing for impact. By the grace of God, the SUV stopped just short of a concrete embankment. We were safe, but we were stuck. With a frazzled family and spinning tires, I looked for a friendly passerby\u2014someone to pull us out of this mess.<\/p>\n

Looking back on that moment makes me think about pastors who are feeling emotionally stuck. Sadness, depression, bitterness, unresolved anger\u2014all these emotions can cause a spiritual leader to fantasize of running fast from ministry and working in a less draining environment.<\/p>\n

In a recent Lifeway Research survey among pastors, we heard painful responses such as, \u201cI\u00a0feel the weight of the ministry of this church lays totally on me\u201d and \u201cThere is a tremendous sense of loneliness.\u201d This is just the tip of the iceberg; there were pages and pages of open-ended answers that echo similar sentiments.<\/p>\n

Reaching out to a counselor requires courage, but it seems that too many pastors resist taking this important step. \u2014 @BenMandrell Click To Tweet <\/p>\n

Perhaps you are that pastor, and you need some help getting out of the ditch. Reaching out to a counselor requires courage, but it seems that too many pastors resist taking this important step.<\/p>\n

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This short list is by no means exhaustive, but in my experience, here are three of the reasons pastors avoid counseling when they need it.<\/p>\n

1. I don\u2019t have my sermon done.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The weekly project of drafting an inspirational, biblically solid sermon is pressurized. Sure, there are weeks when the sermon seems to write itself and the church staff works in one accord.<\/p>\n

But a consistently harmonious church doesn\u2019t exist on this side of heaven. Because someone is always suffering, feuding, drifting, posting their angst on social media, and sending scathing emails, the pastor is regularly knocked off course. The sermon prep is pushed to later in the week, and there just isn\u2019t time to sit before a counselor and process feelings.<\/p>\n

Preaching is important, but preaching from the overflow of a healthy soul is more important. \u2014 @BenMandrell Click To Tweet <\/p>\n

Pastors are notoriously weak at self-care. Like the injured quarterback, a pastor finds it difficult to sit on the bench and give the arm a rest. In our bravado, we want to play through the pain, grind out another week, and crank out another sermon. Eventually, this short-sighted mindset will lead to burnout. Preaching is important, but preaching from the overflow of a healthy soul is more<\/em> important.<\/p>\n

2. I don\u2019t want people to think I\u2019m weak.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Jesus was clear that He came to earth to help the sick. Believe it or not, pastors are included in this category. We falsely believe that because showing the church signs of fragility may not be well received, it’s best to carry the wounds alone.<\/p>\n

During this COVID season, Lynley and I decided to seek out a counselor to help us navigate some pains we\u2019ve struggled to process. It was the best decision we\u2019ve made in the pandemic. Our skilled counselor is teaching us how to be honest with ourselves, to pay attention to the emotions we are experiencing, and to be vulnerable with one another in a way all husbands and wives should be.<\/p>\n

Jesus was clear that He came to earth to help the sick. Believe it or not, pastors are included in this category. \u2014 @BenMandrell Click To Tweet <\/p>\n

I am embarrassed to say that fear prevented me from seeking this kind of help while I served as a pastor. I was worried Lynley and I would open up a painful can of worms and it wouldn\u2019t get cleaned up by Sunday morning. Heaven forbid the church sense negative vibes between the pastor and his wife!<\/p>\n

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See also  4 Changes I’d Make If I Could Start Ministry Over<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Pride. It\u2019s in all of us. If people find out a pastor is seeing a counselor, they may think he\u2019s unfit for the role. Or, they may think he\u2019s human and relatable, finding a deeper connection with his leadership. Think about that. I wish I had.<\/p>\n

3. I should be able to find rest in Jesus.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I\u2019ve had this thought, and I\u2019m sure most pastors have, also: Jesus is sufficient. I need no help from man. <\/em><\/p>\n

Support for this mindset is easy to find in the Bible. Scripture is overflowing with passages challenging believers to place their trust in Christ, to take on His yoke, and to cast all cares upon Him. It\u2019s easy to believe the underdeveloped, unspiritual people are in need of counseling, but surely not seminary-trained professionals like me.<\/p>\n

While the Word certainly calls us to lean on the Lord in times of trouble, Scripture also reminds us often that we are not an island, that we need to call upon the gifts of others to find healing. \u2014 @BenMandrell Click To Tweet <\/p>\n

While the Word certainly calls us to lean on the Lord in times of trouble, Scripture also reminds us often that we are not an island, that we need to call upon the gifts of others to find healing. This includes counseling.<\/p>\n

Pastor, are you exhausted, stuck in a rut, or bitter toward others? Are you inexplicably sad, perpetually anxious, or dreaming of an escape from your life? If so, seek help and schedule some sessions with a solid biblical counselor. When our tires are spinning, it doesn\u2019t help to keep pressing the gas. There are people gifted by God to help us get back on the road to mental, emotional, and spiritual health.<\/p>\n

NAMB, through a partnership with Focus on the Family, offers a free hotline for SBC pastors: 1-844-4PASTOR.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Ben Mandrell<\/h2>\n

@BenMandrell<\/p>\n

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Ben is the president and CEO of Lifeway Christian Resources. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n