{"id":31271,"date":"2022-09-10T15:23:47","date_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:23:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/3-things-the-church-should-understand-about-trauma-survivors\/"},"modified":"2022-09-10T15:23:47","modified_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:23:47","slug":"3-things-the-church-should-understand-about-trauma-survivors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/3-things-the-church-should-understand-about-trauma-survivors\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Things the Church Should Understand About Trauma Survivors"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Sasha Freemind photo – Unsplash<\/div>\n

By Susan Clabaugh<\/em><\/p>\n

Recently I ventured out of my comfort zone to try and join a group at my church. As Christians, we need community. Trauma survivors, who have tendencies toward loneliness, have an added layer of that need.<\/p>\n

It was a hard step because people who haven\u2019t endured any form of trauma don\u2019t always understood my added struggles. Places and people don\u2019t always feel safe to me and other survivors.<\/p>\n

Because of COVID we had to meet for what they call \u201cGroup Connect\u201d via Zoom and then separate into breakout groups. We had a leader assigned to us each for the three-weeks duration of Group Connect.<\/p>\n

I asked many questions of the leadership about the entire process: Would this be our leader or someone else? Would this be our final group? Do we have to commit to a year upfront when we don\u2019t yet know these people?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll admit: With a trauma history, sometimes communication can be difficult to navigate. Sometimes, my questions can come across as attacks or insults. But most of the time, they\u2019re simply honest questions.<\/p>\n

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After I submitted my questions, I received an email from a pastor on staff who was involved in the groups ministry\u2014someone I had never met nor communicated with.<\/p>\n

His response was a page long, explaining to me that they had successfully placed many people in groups and that no one has questioned the process like I had.<\/p>\n

This minister couldn\u2019t have known about my trauma history. Like this person, there\u2019s a high probability most church leaders don\u2019t know about all the trauma survivors in their congregations.<\/p>\n

I write for two reasons. The first is to explain to church leaders they should extend grace when there are excessive questions about a ministry; you don\u2019t know what they\u2019ve endured, whether inside or outside the church.<\/p>\n

The second reason is provide some suggestions for ministering to someone you learn is a trauma survivor.<\/p>\n

It would be easy for me to internalize the minister\u2019s sharp response to me as an accusation. But upon further processing of this communication I realized this is likely a common occurrence for not just me, but all trauma survivors.<\/p>\n

We have unique needs in the context of the local church. Here are some ideas of how we view things as trauma survivors and how you can help us as you minister.<\/p>\n

1. We don’t feel safe just because we\u2019re in church. <\/strong><\/h3>\n

Just because you\u2019re a minister or affiliate with a church doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re a safe person to a trauma survivor.<\/p>\n

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See also  The Power of the Ordinary Moments<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Many people don’t question their safety, but those who endured trauma need many assurances before they feel safe. This means they may not meet with you in person if they haven\u2019t had the chance to get to know you.<\/p>\n

2. We see the world through a unique lens.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Because they’ve endured evil, trauma survivors are aware that things are not always what they always appear to be.<\/p>\n

Therefore, they don\u2019t take things at face value, but read into the situation what the intent truly is. This can cause miscommunication because you don\u2019t always understand that a trauma survivor\u2019s goal is safety.<\/p>\n

I can confidently say most church leaders\u2019 intentions are good. So, how can we not understand that? Those of us who have endured evil know it can come from anyone at any time. No one is exempt.<\/p>\n

It takes longer for our trust to grow until we see someone being consistent in their treatment of us and in their displays of character.<\/p>\n

3. We crave clarity more than the average person. <\/strong><\/h3>\n

Anxiety is very common to our everyday lives. We need understand the who, what, why, and when of what is going on to feel safe and reduce anxiety.<\/p>\n

This means we\u2019ll ask more questions than most. The best approach to fielding the questions of a trauma survivor is to be as open as you can, listen closely, and give answers.<\/p>\n

Another tip for communicating with a trauma survivor in your church is to extend grace when a question seems more like an attack; anxiety can show up as anger to many others.<\/p>\n

The question is not if\u2014but when\u2014you\u2019ll encounter trauma survivors in your church. Overall, showing kindness and compassion will go a long way with trauma survivors.<\/p>\n

The next time you\u2019re communicating with someone in your church who seems a bit on edge, consider what you may not know about them.<\/p>\n

When we feel heard and respected, trauma survivors are far more likely to feel welcome and accepted by you and your church. And the church should be a soft place to land for trauma survivors.<\/p>\n

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Susan M. Clabaugh<\/h2>\n

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Susan is a Missouri-based writer. Read more from her at her website: HopeAfterSexualAssault.com.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n