{"id":31364,"date":"2022-09-10T15:27:26","date_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:27:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/7-traits-of-meaningful-authenticity-in-a-small-group\/"},"modified":"2022-09-10T15:27:26","modified_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:27:26","slug":"7-traits-of-meaningful-authenticity-in-a-small-group","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/7-traits-of-meaningful-authenticity-in-a-small-group\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Traits of Meaningful Authenticity in a Small Group"},"content":{"rendered":"
Steven Wright photo – Unsplash <\/p>\n

By Barnabas Piper<\/em><\/p>\n

What do blind dates, your first meeting with a therapist, and joining a small group have in common?<\/p>\n

They all feel like complete gambles. You walk in, meet strangers, and try to figure out how to be the kind of honest that develops a relationship but not the kind that makes you sound crazy.<\/p>\n

The difference between a small group and the other two scenarios is that this is happening between eight or 12 or 20 people, not just two.<\/p>\n

Developing the kind of honest authenticity (as opposed to internet influencer \u201cauthenticity\u201d) that makes small groups meaningful can be scary, takes intentionality, and is always a gift from God.<\/p>\n

Here are seven traits of true authenticity in a group.<\/p>\n

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1. Willingness to take a risk<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Vulnerability is scary between two people, so opening up about something shameful, scary, or deeply personal in a group can be terrifying.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also the only way for a group to be truly honest with one another. Someone needs to go first. Then someone needs to go second. Then it needs to happen with increasing regularity.<\/p>\n

Once will make people feel a little weird. Regular honesty will draw people together.<\/p>\n

2. Responding with grace<\/strong><\/h3>\n

When someone cuts open their life and reveals the difficult or the ugly aspects to the group, nothing is louder than silence. A response of spoken grace\u2014something like \u201cthank you for telling us, that took guts\u201d\u2014allows them to breathe again.<\/p>\n

Following that up with caring questions and immediate prayer shows the whole group that it\u2019s safe to be honest and that all struggles are taken to Jesus\u2019 feet first.<\/p>\n

3. Asking bold questions<\/strong> <\/strong><\/h3>\n

\u201c<\/strong>How are you?\u201d is a fine question\u2014if you mean it.<\/p>\n

Do you really<\/em> want to know how the other person is? Are you prepared for an honest answer? It\u2019s even better to ask detailed questions about things they\u2019ve mentioned previously, and this means listening and remembering.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t need to remember everything about everyone in your group, but grab hold of a couple needs and ask about them.<\/p>\n

4. Answering questions honestly<\/strong><\/h3>\n

If people are going to ask boldly then you must answer honestly. \u201cHow are you?\u201d can\u2019t have a canned \u201cfine\u201d as a response.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s an open door for authenticity, so take it. Tell people if you\u2019re really struggling or it\u2019s been a garbage week or your kids are on your last nerve.<\/p>\n

Yes, this feels risky, but it\u2019s a risk with the potential reward of encouragement, prayer, help, and deeper friendships in the Lord.<\/p>\n

All you get by saying \u201cfine\u201d is more time carrying your burden by yourself.<\/p>\n

5. No euphemisms<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Authenticity doesn\u2019t hide behind opaque phrases.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re on the verge of divorce you\u2019re not \u201chaving some struggles in your marriage.\u201d If you\u2019re addicted to porn you aren\u2019t \u201cbattling some sexual sin\u201d and if you\u2019re battling deep depression you\u2019re not \u201chaving a down week.\u201d<\/p>\n

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See also  The Group Most Likely to Still Be Missing From Your Church<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Authenticity doesn\u2019t go for shock value; it speaks truth. It calls sin \u201csin,\u201d fear \u201cfear,\u201d and need \u201cneed.\u201d Conversely, it praises and thanks and honors for specific answers to prayer and to people by name.<\/p>\n

6. Asking for help<\/strong><\/h3>\n

If vulnerability is an all-in gamble, asking for help feels like betting money we don\u2019t even have.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s because in a sense, it is. We\u2019re all lacking. We\u2019re not able to be Christians, spouses, parents, employees, bosses, ministers, friends, or just about anything else on our own.<\/p>\n

Yet we\u2019re loath to simply say, \u201cI need help.\u201d In a group marked by honesty, people learn to express need and ask for help in real, specific ways\u2014even when it shows weakness or makes them look bad.<\/p>\n

Ray Ortlund, the founding pastor of Immanuel Church in Nashville where I serve, often said, \u201cYou can be impressive or you can be known, but you can\u2019t be both.\u201d<\/p>\n

Asking for help really<\/em> makes us known, and, while that is scary, it\u2019s also the best.<\/p>\n

7. Sacrificial help<\/strong><\/h3>\n

In a group marked by God\u2019s grace a person asking for help is simply a glimpse into a mirror.  We know our own needs. We know our weakness. Jesus said, \u201cBy this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.\u201d<\/p>\n

So when someone else reveals their need we don\u2019t scoff or judge or distance ourselves. We love as Jesus loved, sacrificially and readily. Their need becomes our need because we are one body.<\/p>\n

The net effect of these traits is a group of people deeply aware of each other\u2019s needs and struggles, prone to pray first for any problem, and willing to welcome in a new person at a moment\u2019s notice.<\/p>\n

This is because true honesty and authenticity stem from humility before God. They aren\u2019t sustainable by techniques and efforts but only by a constant awareness of our own need and Christ\u2019s great mercy.<\/p>\n

When we have that, the risk and sacrifice are worth it every time and over time.<\/p>\n

BARNABAS PIPER (@BarnabasPiper)<\/strong> is a speaker, podcaster, and the author of several books, including<\/em> The Pastor\u2019s Kid, The Curious Christian, and<\/em> Help My Unbelief: Why Doubt Is Not the Enemy of Faith\u2014which now has a small group study companion. He currently serves on staff at Immanuel Nashville as director of community. <\/em><\/p>\n

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Dig Deeper at Lifeway.com<\/div>\n
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Be Authentic: Exhibiting Real Faith in the Real World<\/h2>\n

Warren W. Wiersbe<\/p>\n

FIND OUT MORE <\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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What Do Pastors Believe About the End Times? What Do Pastors Believe About the Book of Revelation? 3 Ways to Reach Non-Religious People in Your Community <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Steven Wright photo – Unsplash By Barnabas Piper What do blind dates, your first meeting with a therapist, and joining a small group have in common? They all feel like complete gambles. You walk in, meet strangers, and try to figure out how to be the kind of honest that develops a relationship but not … Continue reading “7 Traits of Meaningful Authenticity in a Small Group”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31364","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31364"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31364\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}