{"id":31533,"date":"2022-09-10T15:34:05","date_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:34:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/am-i-disqualified-from-ministry-if-my-child-doesnt-follow-jesus\/"},"modified":"2022-09-10T15:34:05","modified_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:34:05","slug":"am-i-disqualified-from-ministry-if-my-child-doesnt-follow-jesus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/am-i-disqualified-from-ministry-if-my-child-doesnt-follow-jesus\/","title":{"rendered":"Am I Disqualified From Ministry if My Child Doesn\u2019t Follow Jesus?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Allen Taylor photo – Unsplash<\/div>\n

Understanding what biblical success looks like for parents<\/strong><\/h3>\n

By Aaron Wilson<\/em><\/p>\n

Being a parent has never been as hard as it is right now. At least, that\u2019s what social media would lead you to believe.<\/p>\n

Judgment on parents\u2014coming from other parents\u2014abounds online. Passionate moms and dads regularly weigh in on subjects ranging from immunizations to screen time.<\/p>\n

Indeed, just a few minutes on social media is enough to overwhelm moms and dads with suffocating guilt that they\u2019re not \u201cdoing parenting right.\u201d<\/p>\n

To escape this form of legalism, Christians turn to the Bible to learn what really makes for successful parenting when all the trends and cultural preferences are stripped away.<\/p>\n

But this can create even more guilt for some Christians who bring misinformed views to parenting passages such as 1 Timothy 3:4-5 which reads:<\/p>\n

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\u201cHe [a church overseer] must manage his own household competently and have his children under control with all dignity. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God\u2019s church?)\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The context of these verses is the biblical qualifications for church overseers. It\u2019s a passage of Scripture that\u2019s created a great deal of stress for church leaders who have a wayward son or daughter or who have a child who appears out of control.<\/p>\n

Is God really saying a misbehaving child is a strike against a current or would-be church leader?<\/p>\n

And just as importantly, is God saying by extension that any Christian parent is a failure if their kids are unruly or if they ultimately rebel against Him?<\/p>\n

These are good questions to ask of the text. And as we\u2019ll discover, the answers are actually quite freeing.<\/p>\n

Two types of managing<\/strong><\/h3>\n

What does Scripture mean when it speaks of managing one\u2019s household competently? Let\u2019s examine two different scenarios.<\/p>\n

The first is a college football coach who\u2019s judged purely on results\u2014that is, his win\/loss record.<\/p>\n

No matter how well-liked the coach is, how much he sweats and bleeds for his team, or how well he represents the school and local community, a coach who consistently tallies a losing record will quickly be let go.<\/p>\n

Contrast this to a role I once had working for a chain of retail stores. As a store manager, there were a number of metrics I was held accountable for\u2014none bigger than my monthly sales goal. There were many months, however\u2014and even a few years\u2014when my store failed to hit its goal.<\/p>\n

Was I judged solely on my store\u2019s top-line sales during these down years and let go? No, in an interesting turn, I was actually promoted and given more responsibility.<\/p>\n

The reason for my boss\u2019 approval during seasons of disappointing results was because he recognized I was faithfully managing what was within my realm of control.<\/p>\n

As long as I was doing what my boss asked me to do and staying faithful under his leadership, he declared me a good manager\u2014regardless of the ultimate results.<\/p>\n

Judged by faithfulness<\/strong><\/h3>\n

This latter example is the type of management God is looking to commend in parents. In the case of parenting, He judges on faithfulness\u2014not results.<\/p>\n

God doesn\u2019t hold church overseers\u2014or any parents\u2014responsible for the salvation of their children. He holds parents accountable for shepherding children to the best of their ability to follow Him.<\/p>\n

The same principle applies to having one\u2019s children under control.<\/p>\n

Kids can appear out of control at times while still being under the control of faithful parents who are doing their best to faithfully teach, discipline, and steer their children toward a love for Jesus.<\/p>\n

When the Bible speaks of having children \u201cunder control with all dignity,\u201d it doesn\u2019t infer parents can raise kids who are perfectly calm and mature at all times.<\/p>\n

Instead, the Bible\u2019s call to discipline one\u2019s kids actually expects\u2014and even guarantees\u2014children will be unruly as rebellious sinners.<\/p>\n

The following truth is thus essential to understanding 1 Timothy 3:4-5 and other biblical passages about parenting: God doesn\u2019t judge parents on the actions of their kids<\/em>. He judges parents on their actions toward their kids<\/em>.<\/p>\n

The latter is what makes for faithful management of one\u2019s household.<\/p>\n

God\u2019s story: The Prodigal Son<\/strong><\/h3>\n

But how do we know this to be true? By looking at a parable Jesus taught that shows the heart of God the Father.<\/p>\n

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See also  Is It \u2018Ministry Failure\u2019 To See a Counselor?<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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In the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11\u201332), the father in the story represents God. One of his sons, the parable\u2019s titular character, abandons his father to \u201csquander his estate in foolish living.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now, if it were true that God deems men unqualified for the position of church overseer on the behavior of their children, God would also be disqualified to lead the church since ALL of His children are prodigals and have gone wayward (Romans 3:23).<\/p>\n

The sinfulness of the prodigal son, however, is not a poor reflection of the father. Rather, the son\u2019s rebellion actually becomes a backdrop for the father\u2019s mercy and grace.<\/p>\n

It also provides an opportunity for the father to bring correction to his other son who speaks out of a prideful and jealous heart.<\/p>\n

Once again, parents are not judged on the actions of their kids<\/em>. They\u2019re judged on their actions toward their kids<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Correcting our outlook on parenting<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The above principle should not only transform the way parents think about themselves, but also the way Christians interact with others.<\/p>\n

Here are three ways a right expectation of parenting should inform our day-to-day living.<\/p>\n

1. Don\u2019t craft a sense of identity around the performance of your kids.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Deriving a sense of worth from the performance of one\u2019s kids indicates a form of idolatry.<\/p>\n

A Christian\u2019s identity is tied to the flawless character of Christ\u2014not the actions of children who are flawed by their very nature.<\/p>\n

Likewise, an identity formed around the idea of having \u201cperfect\u201d children fails to consider the difficult challenges of parents and caregivers who pour into foster or adoptive children or who raise children with special needs.<\/p>\n

Each of these scenarios comes with its own challenges which don\u2019t disqualify people for ministry, but rather act as one of the most intimate forms of Christian ministry.<\/p>\n

2. Don\u2019t elevate everyday parenting choices to a level of gospel importance.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Legalism can easily seep into parenting choices and express itself through passive aggressive comments, haughty looks, and social media squalls.<\/p>\n

We must remember that when it comes to parenting choices, the only hill worth dying on is Calvary\u2014that is, whether or not we\u2019re pointing our children to Jesus.<\/p>\n

Raise children with as much knowledge and wisdom as you can muster, but don\u2019t become a modern-day Pharisee judging others on parenting decisions that have no scriptural basis.<\/p>\n

3. Plan on problems\u2014and meet them within a community of grace.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Only Mary and Joseph can claim to have raised the perfect child\u2014and even they raised children after Jesus who were fallen in nature.<\/p>\n

Parenting is a means by which big sinners raise little sinners. As such, we shouldn\u2019t be surprised when parenting becomes difficult.<\/p>\n

We should plan on problems as we raise children to know the Lord.<\/p>\n

The local church is not a pedestal on which to display perfect families with perfect children. It\u2019s a refuge where grace is freely extended as the body of Christ rallies together to pour into the next generation.<\/p>\n

What successful parenting looks like<\/strong><\/h3>\n

So, am I unfit for ministry if my child doesn\u2019t love Jesus? Am I a failure as a parent if my kids appear out of control? The biblical answer is clearly \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n

As long as you\u2019re faithfully loving and disciplining your children and doing all you can to point them toward Jesus, God approves of your parenting\u2014regardless of the outcome.<\/p>\n

He sees you as managing your household to His glory.<\/p>\n

Parents aren\u2019t judged on the actions of their kids, but on their actions toward their kids.<\/p>\n

In this knowledge, may we continually extend God\u2019s grace to ourselves and to others as we steward young souls to know the Savior.<\/p>\n

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Aaron Wilson<\/h2>\n

@AaronBWilson26<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Aaron is associate editor of LifewayResearch.com.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n