{"id":31959,"date":"2022-09-10T15:50:45","date_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:50:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/loving-the-church-but-dreading-sunday-morning\/"},"modified":"2022-09-10T15:50:45","modified_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:50:45","slug":"loving-the-church-but-dreading-sunday-morning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/loving-the-church-but-dreading-sunday-morning\/","title":{"rendered":"Loving the Church But Dreading Sunday Morning"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Sasha Freemind photo – Unsplash<\/div>\n

By Aaron Wilson<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m a committed church member who is present at every Sunday gathering, loves Jesus and His bride, and is passionate about ministry.<\/p>\n

Most days, however, I don\u2019t look forward to going to church.<\/p>\n

While this disconnect may sound strange on the surface, the rationale behind it is pretty simple. Like many people, I struggle with social anxiety.<\/p>\n

Although I can hold my own in a conversation, it\u2019s extremely taxing for me to spend time in settings that require extended mingling and the making of chitchat.<\/p>\n

As such, I often grimace going into Sunday morning gatherings where I know I\u2019ll be bombarded with opportunities for social interaction.<\/p>\n

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I also know I\u2019m not alone in this. While I don\u2019t struggle to the degree of having social anxiety disorder, approximately 7% of the population does experience this challenge.<\/p>\n

And increasingly, I\u2019ve had conversations with other Christians who say their social anxiety makes gathering with fellow believers feel more like an obligation than an opportunity.<\/p>\n

How can the church respond to the struggle many people like myself face? Here are three suggestions to help members and guests who deal with social anxiety feel more comfortable and involved within the body of Christ.<\/p>\n

1. Structure the service wisely.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

One part of a church service that can be extremely uncomfortable for those with social anxiety is the stand-and-greet time. In churches I\u2019ve been a part of, I\u2019ve seen these last anywhere from 30 seconds to 15 minutes (in rare cases).<\/p>\n

Even for those who don\u2019t experience social anxiety, stand-and-greet times can be perceived as awkward and unnatural. In his book, Becoming a Welcoming Church<\/em>, Thom Rainer reports that 9 out of 10 guests state they dislike stand-and-greet times in church services.<\/p>\n

Since stand-and-greet times aren\u2019t prescribed in Scripture, don\u2019t seem to be popular with guests, and create a struggle for those dealing with social anxiety, it\u2019s worth considering if the practice serves a helpful purpose or if it presents an unnecessary burden to some.<\/p>\n

2. Don\u2019t look for sin where it isn\u2019t.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Christians dealing with social anxiety already feel awkward entering a church gathering. It\u2019s important, therefore, for church leaders to avoid making them feel even more uncomfortable by automatically labeling their struggle a sin problem.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s true Jesus instructs believers not to be anxious (Matthew 6:25-27). Christ\u2019s motivation for doing so, however, stems from compassion, not accusation.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, it\u2019s become popular for some preachers to come down hard on what\u2019s labeled \u201cthe fear of man.\u201d I\u2019ve sat under leaders who\u2019ve preached that being anxious around people is a form of idolatry that demonstrates Christ isn\u2019t one\u2019s first love because, \u201cif we fear God rightly, we won\u2019t fear people.\u201d<\/p>\n

While social fear is certainly a result of the curse\u2014one I look forward to the removal of in heaven\u2014its presence doesn\u2019t necessarily indicate sin in one\u2019s life. Instead, social anxiety can simply reflect the brokenness of our bodies and the world at large.<\/p>\n

Christians facing social anxiety need encouragement from the body of Christ, not condemnation for their struggles. The fact that they show up at church, despite how uncomfortable it makes them feel, demonstrates a dying to self that brings Christ glory.<\/p>\n

As an example of how this can be mishandled, I once had a pastor tell me his shepherding of God\u2019s flock required him to observe when people show up at church and note who they talk to during the break (or the stand-and-greet time) and how long they chat.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf someone leaves as soon as service is over and doesn\u2019t hang around to talk,\u201d he told me, \u201cit makes me wonder what\u2019s going on in their heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

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While I believe this pastor had good intentions in caring for his congregation, his overbearing approach in this area demonstrates how legalism can creep into churches and place an undue burden on people already struggling with social interaction.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, people who are socially anxious at church just need to be given the freedom to breathe in a place where it\u2019s OK to come to Christ as broken, struggling people.<\/p>\n

3. Don\u2019t confuse social clout with leadership potential.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The world often ties leadership to charisma. The Bible, however, more closely links leadership with character.<\/p>\n

When too great of an emphasis is placed on the former, the church risks propelling people into leadership positions based on their social clout alone.<\/p>\n

I experienced this once when a pastor told me his church would never grant leadership responsibility to someone who didn\u2019t possess a magnetic personality because \u201ca leader must be able to demonstrate they have followers.\u201d<\/p>\n

A charming disposition and social following, however, doesn\u2019t always equate to a leader after God\u2019s own heart.<\/p>\n

Christians dealing with social anxiety can easily get overlooked for leadership positions in the church because they\u2019re more private and aren\u2019t naturally \u201cpeople persons.\u201d Yet, it\u2019s through such weaknesses that God often showcases His glory to the world.<\/p>\n

Moses, one of the greatest leaders of the Old Testament, needed his brother to help him with public speaking. Absalom, on the other hand, was an incredibly charismatic individual who \u201cstole the hearts of men,\u201d but did so with self-serving intent (2 Samuel 15:6).<\/p>\n

The point is that in God\u2019s Kingdom, natural charisma and social dexterity shouldn\u2019t be prerequisites for leadership. Saints who struggle with social anxiety often make up for it by being strategic, insightful, and empathetic toward others\u2014all qualities of a good leader.<\/p>\n

Although Christians with social anxiety may get nervous in certain social settings like gathered worship, many desire to serve the church and aren\u2019t adverse to certain types of leadership roles.<\/p>\n

Additionally, such areas of service are often means of grace God uses to help people combat their fears and grow in discipleship.<\/p>\n

For these reasons, churches shouldn\u2019t pack their leadership teams with only loud and compelling personalities. Instead, the church should look for ways to empower and develop saints in the congregation who struggle with social anxiety but desire to bless others with their spiritual gifts. <\/strong><\/p>\n

One Body, Many Parts<\/strong><\/h3>\n

For those who don\u2019t experience social anxiety, understand there are brothers and sisters in Christ who truly love the church but struggle to gather with her joyfully\u2014and that\u2019s OK.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, this is exactly what God has created His church for\u2014to be a body made up of many parts that supports its members where they\u2019re weak.<\/p>\n

I look forward to the day when Jesus will wipe away every bead of sweat attributed to anxiety. Until then, those of us who struggle in social settings are to keep faithfully pressing into the local church, trusting that God will receive glory as His strength is made perfect in our weakness.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe eye cannot say to the hand, \u2018I don\u2019t need you!\u2019 Or again, the head can\u2019t say to the feet, \u2018I don\u2019t need you!\u2019 On the contrary, those parts of the body that are weaker are indispensable.\u201d -1 Corinthians 12:21-22<\/em><\/p>\n

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Aaron Wilson<\/h2>\n

@AaronBWilson26<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Aaron is associate editor of LifewayResearch.com.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n