{"id":32009,"date":"2022-09-10T15:52:40","date_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:52:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/how-churches-can-bridge-the-marriage-divide\/"},"modified":"2022-09-10T15:52:40","modified_gmt":"2022-09-10T20:52:40","slug":"how-churches-can-bridge-the-marriage-divide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/how-churches-can-bridge-the-marriage-divide\/","title":{"rendered":"How Churches Can Bridge the Marriage Divide"},"content":{"rendered":"
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elizabeth lies photo – Unsplash<\/div>\n

Growing Marriage Gap Between Rich and Poor Offers Ministry Opportunities<\/strong><\/h3>\n

By Bobby Ross Jr.<\/em><\/p>\n

In the Texas town of Childress, about 22.4 percent of the population lives in poverty\u2014nearly double the national average.<\/p>\n

Halfway between Amarillo and Wichita Falls, the cattle and cotton-farming hub of 6,000 is the biggest community for 100 miles in any direction.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe closest shopping mall and movie theater is about two hours away,\u201d says Trey Morgan, minister for the Childress Church of Christ.<\/p>\n

Way off the beaten path, Morgan\u2019s thriving congregation of 375 works to bolster Childress\u2019 quality of life in a simple way: by strengthening the town\u2019s marriages and families.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs melodramatic as it sounds, if we could make more families the way God designed them, it would fix about 90% of the problems in our country,\u201d suggests Morgan, a father of four who, with his wife Lea, leads marriage workshops across the nation.<\/p>\n

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Focusing on the socioeconomic\u2014and spiritual\u2014benefits of saying \u201cI do\u201d makes sense at a time of an increasing \u201cmarriage divide\u201d in the U.S., relationship experts say.<\/em><\/p>\n

Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, highlighted that divide in a 2017 study: \u201cCollege-educated and more affluent Americans enjoy relatively strong and stable marriages and the economic and social benefits that flow from such marriages.<\/p>\n

\u201cBy contrast, not just poor but also working-class Americans face rising rates of family instability, single parenthood, and life-long singleness. Their families are increasingly fragile and poor and working-class Americans pay a serious economic, social, and psychological price for the fragility of their families.\u201d<\/p>\n

And often, religious institutions have been a part of the problem, not the solution, according to Wilcox\u2019s report.<\/p>\n

\u201cMoreover, many of these religious institutions have been less likely to clearly and regularly address issues related to marriage and family life since the 1970s,\u201d his study concludes.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause of demographic changes in the pews and changes in the broader culture and the churches, pastors, priests, and lay leaders have become more reluctant to address topics related to sex, marriage, divorce, and nonmarital childbearing. This means that all Americans, including working-class men and women, are less likely to receive direction and guidance about marriage and family life that might otherwise strengthen and stabilize their families.\u201d<\/p>\n

But in places like the rural community of Childress and an urban neighborhood in New Orleans, Christian leaders don\u2019t shy away from talking about sensitive topics like S-E-X and M-O-N-E-Y.<\/p>\n

Connect Church of Algiers, a church plant on the west bank of the Mississippi River in New Orleans, recently offered a 13-week Tuesday night series focused on marriage, parenting, and finance, lead pastor Ryan Rice Sr. says.<\/p>\n

\u201cA good number of people in the room were not believers,\u201d says Rice, a father of four with his wife Sean\u00e9. \u201cFor a lot of people, it was their first time hearing a biblical view on marriage and family.\u201d<\/p>\n

His church has offered parenting and financial literacy classes at an apartment complex \u2014 all for free so that ability to pay does not hinder anyone\u2019s participation, the pastor said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen we came into the city, one of the things we really wanted to do was focus on kids, marriage, those kind of things,\u201d Rice said. \u201cSo those are kind of the hallmarks of our ministry because healthy families change the community.\u201d<\/p>\n

For many couples, the idea of marriage is not the norm it used to be, Rice and other ministers said.<\/p>\n

Rather, marriage has become something people do when they feel like they have their lives totally put together. Or it\u2019s a \u201ccapstone\u201d achieved when two people have enough money to pay for what they view as the perfect wedding (the national average price tag tops $30,000).<\/p>\n

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See also  8 Ways to Persevere in Ministry<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u201cThere\u2019s a perspective that has grown in the U.S., which is that you have to get through college, get the job, get the white picket fence, and then you can get married,\u201d says Derek Gwinn, director of Relationship Education at the Center for Healthy Relationships at John Brown University.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhereas 50 years ago, the perspective was that you got married so you had someone to work with you toward those goals.\u201d<\/p>\n

The challenge for churches, Gwinn says, is to recognize how society has shifted and adapt to that change.<\/p>\n

For example, congregations must be prepared to welcome \u201ca lot of single moms\u201d and not treat them as second-class citizens with no value to the Lord, he says. Otherwise, \u201cthey won\u2019t stick around.\u201d<\/p>\n

At the same time, Christians must do a much better job of modeling what healthy marriages look like, says Gwinn.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was doing a premarital program \u2026 and I asked, \u2018How many of you have a married couple in your life you look to as an example of what a healthy, successful marriage looks like?\u2019\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd fewer than half the people raised their hand. If they don\u2019t have a model of what a healthy marriage looks like, they\u2019re not going to know how to make that happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

One way to help in that situation, he says: marriage mentoring programs that pair a younger couple with an older, experienced one who can help avoid pitfalls in a relationship.<\/p>\n

Most crucial, in Gwinn\u2019s view, is training. Too often, he says, churches offer premarital counseling that involves a few, quick Scriptures before diving into the intricacies of the wedding ceremony itself.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen it comes to knowing how to talk to each other or knowing what issues might come up or how to make a life together, the couple is kind of left hanging,\u201d he says. \u201cThere\u2019s an opportunity for congregations to step up and say, \u2018This matters to us, and we should do something about it.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Back in Childress, Morgan\u2019s church offers physical support (including a free community garden full of corn, green beans, squash, and other vegetables) and spiritual training (including free financial and relationship courses) designed to encourage marriages and promote strong families.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have droves of people that come in for our marriage workshops that don\u2019t go to church anywhere and won\u2019t show up for a gospel meeting,\u201d Morgan says.<\/p>\n

However, they will show up for a discussion of how to get out of debt or stop arguing with a significant other, he says, especially if the class is offered at a \u201cnon-threatening\u201d time like Friday night or Saturday morning.<\/p>\n

Some of those people eventually come to Christ, he says. But his church strives not to take advantage of a \u201ccaptive audience\u201d or preach at cohabiting, unmarried couples who show up for the courses.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe do explain,\u201d Morgan adds, \u201cthat God designed couples to be married instead of living together and that God blesses that relationship when you\u2019re married.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Bobby Ross Jr.<\/h2>\n

@bobbyross<\/p>\n

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Bobby is an award-winning Oklahoma City-based journalist who has covered religion news for two decades.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n