{"id":32472,"date":"2022-09-10T16:10:53","date_gmt":"2022-09-10T21:10:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/5-ways-to-care-for-those-who-grieve-over-childlessness\/"},"modified":"2022-09-10T16:10:53","modified_gmt":"2022-09-10T21:10:53","slug":"5-ways-to-care-for-those-who-grieve-over-childlessness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/5-ways-to-care-for-those-who-grieve-over-childlessness\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways to Care for Those Who Grieve Over Childlessness"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"entry-content\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><\/div>\n<p><em>By Chelsea Sobolik<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou won\u2019t ever be able to carry your own child.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I looked at her stunned. I fought for breath to fill my lungs, and in one sentence from the doctor, my life was forever changed.<\/p>\n<p>When my body was being formed in my mother\u2019s womb, some reproductive organs failed to form. There I was at 19 realizing that, biologically, I could never be a mother.<\/p>\n<p>As I tried wrapping my mind around this news, I left the appointment and was back in the car with my mom. I was too shocked to cry; all I felt was numbness. It took a few days for the shock to turn into myriad emotions\u2014sadness, frustration grief, shame, anger, and loneliness.<\/p>\n<p>Now married, I mourn with my husband the absence of biological children in our future.<\/p>\n<div class='code-block code-block-1' style='margin: 8px 0;clear: both'> <\/div>\n<p>As I\u2019ve walked through childlessness within the church community, I\u2019ve been grateful for many Christian leaders, friends, and family who have supported me.<\/p>\n<p>But my experience hasn\u2019t been ideal. Here are some suggestions to help the church better understand the trial of childlessness, create an environment that encourages openness, and more effectively reach out to the childless in their church family.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Pray for the childless<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>One of the most important things church communities can do for the childless is to regularly pray for them\u2014<em>with <\/em>them and from the pulpit. What pastors choose to pray for on Sunday mornings teaches others <em>how <\/em>to pray and <em>what <\/em>to pray for. Here are some specific requests of those who need prayer:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Pray that their heart, souls, minds, and even bodies might be strengthened.<\/li>\n<li>Pray they might know God\u2019s love through the compassion of fellow Christians.<\/li>\n<li>Pray that the Lord would answer their prayers for a child.<\/li>\n<li>Pray they will use this trial to glorify the Lord.<\/li>\n<li>Pray that others might come to a saving knowledge of the Lord though this trial.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Learn how to ask helpful questions<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A person\u2019s role in the life of a sufferer is to show up and love with Christ\u2019s love. Since grief can take on many forms, it\u2019s good to understand what\u2019s helpful and what\u2019s harmful for someone grieving. Below are a few questions to ask those who are suffering:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Is it helpful for me to regularly ask how you\u2019re doing?<\/li>\n<li>Should I assume you\u2019ll share your struggles when you\u2019re ready?<\/li>\n<li>How can I comfort you in your grief?<\/li>\n<li>What ways can I serve you?<\/li>\n<li>Are there particular things that trigger your grief?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Avoid using Bible verses as a quick fix<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>God\u2019s Word is inerrant, full of power, wisdom, guidance, and comfort, but I\u2019ve seen far too many people expect \u2028that a few moments of Bible reading will completely solve all of life\u2019s difficult circumstances.<\/p>\n<div style=\"clear:both;margin-top:0em;margin-bottom:1em\">\n<div class=\"centered-text-area\">\n<div class=\"centered-text\" style=\"float: left\">\n<div class=\"u5a94628e0f2cc75ac1f00438ae573755-content\">See also&nbsp; 3 Practical Steps for Reaching the Mission Field in Your Neighborhood<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"ctaButton\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>If Scripture doesn\u2019t offer a \u201cquick fix\u201d to grief or sorrow, why should we try do so? Scripture should be used to shape every part of our lives and our hearts, but the actual work often takes more time than expected.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Don\u2019t minimize the burden of childlessness<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Many may think they\u2019re being encouraging, but the advice or clich\u00e9d statements can come across as insensitive. Try not to assume you have all the answers or that the woman you\u2019re attempting to comfort will be reassured by your own experience with suffering or childlessness.<\/p>\n<p>Rather than saying, \u201cI know how you feel,\u201d it\u2019s more helpful to say, \u201cI have been through a similar experience.\u201d Being willing to sit in the mystery of someone\u2019s suffering without offering an explanation is one of the greatest gifts you can give.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Be present<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A supportive way to care for people walking through childlessness is to simply be present and be available. Even if you haven\u2019t gone through a similar trial, be willing to listen and provide companionship.<\/p>\n<p>Be the type of friend who will prop up someone when they get weak and tired. Sometimes, our souls are simply too exhausted, and we need people who help us when life gets to be too much to bear.<\/p>\n<p>However, the weight of childlessness can be an overwhelming burden to bear, and it can also be a lot for others to help someone carry. The stronger their network of support, the less likely it is that individuals will burn out.<\/p>\n<p>Seek out elders, church staff, or other spiritual mentors in your church to create a strong network of support for those who are grieving.<\/p>\n<p>The church can play such a powerful role in the lives of the childless by walking with them through the dark valley and by pointing them to God\u2019s fatherly care. Ultimately, it\u2019s His love, His hope, and His care for the childless that will heal their souls.<\/p>\n<div style=\"background-color:#f2f2f2;color:#32373c\" class=\"wp-block-genesis-blocks-gb-profile-box square gb-has-avatar gb-font-size-18 gb-block-profile gb-profile-columns\">\n<div class=\"gb-profile-column gb-profile-avatar-wrap\">\n<div class=\"gb-profile-image-wrap\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"gb-profile-column gb-profile-content-wrap\">\n<h2 class=\"gb-profile-name\" style=\"color:#32373c\">Chelsea Sobolik<\/h2>\n<p class=\"gb-profile-title\" style=\"color:#32373c\"><strong>@ChelsPat<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"gb-profile-text\">\n<p>Chelsea is a writer, author and policy director for the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<ul class=\"gb-social-links\"><\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"has-small-font-size\"><em>Adapted with permission from<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em>Longing for Motherhood<em> by Chelsea Patterson Sobolik. Copyright 2018, Moody Publishers.<\/em><\/p>\n<div class='yarpp yarpp-related yarpp-related-website yarpp-template-thumbnails'>\n<h3>Related posts:<\/h3>\n<div class=\"yarpp-thumbnails-horizontal\">  What Do Pastors Believe About the End Times?  What Do Pastors Believe About the Book of Revelation?  3 Ways to Reach Non-Religious People in Your Community <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Chelsea Sobolik \u201cYou won\u2019t ever be able to carry your own child.\u201d I looked at her stunned. I fought for breath to fill my lungs, and in one sentence from the doctor, my life was forever changed. When my body was being formed in my mother\u2019s womb, some reproductive organs failed to form. There &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/5-ways-to-care-for-those-who-grieve-over-childlessness\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;5 Ways to Care for Those Who Grieve Over Childlessness&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32472","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32472"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32472\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}