{"id":32522,"date":"2022-09-10T16:12:51","date_gmt":"2022-09-10T21:12:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/why-i-sleep-in-on-sundays\/"},"modified":"2022-09-10T16:12:51","modified_gmt":"2022-09-10T21:12:51","slug":"why-i-sleep-in-on-sundays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/why-i-sleep-in-on-sundays\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I Sleep in on Sundays"},"content":{"rendered":"
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From sleeping in to brunch with friends, millions of Americans choose to skip church on Sundays.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

By Bob Smietana<\/em><\/p>\n

On Sunday mornings, Jill Taylor drinks coffee and listens to the blues or Johnny Cash. Allen Glendenning reads or calls his kids. Andrew Jacobsohn sleeps late and then studies for school.<\/p>\n

For them, Sunday is a day of rest. But it\u2019s not a day for church. All are among the millions of Americans who rarely if ever go to church. Their reasons for skipping church are complicated.<\/p>\n

For some, it\u2019s a loss of faith. For others, a move or conflict within the church kept them away. Some simply lost the habit of churchgoing. Going to church, it turns out, is harder than it looks.<\/p>\n

And even for those who miss church, going back would be difficult. By listening to the unchurched talk about what keeps them from the faith and going to church, we can identify some of the barriers that we and our churches can strive to dismantle.<\/p>\n

Losing faith<\/p>\n

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For Allen Glendenning, leaving church came after a crisis of faith.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d grown up in the Church of the Nazarene, graduated from a Nazarene college, and joined the choir at a local Nazarene church. He\u2019d even served a term on the church council. Yet over the years, doubt crept in, especially as his kids decided Christianity was not for them.<\/p>\n

About 10 years ago, he walked out of church and never came back. He doesn\u2019t believe in God. And, like many Americans, he doesn\u2019t worry about life after death.<\/p>\n

Lifeway Research found that about 4 in 10 unchurched Americans never wonder if they\u2019ll go to heaven when they die.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s just not a question I think about,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

Glendenning misses some parts of church. He loved singing in the choir and being part of a larger community.<\/p>\n

His dad and brother are Nazarene pastors and most of his family belongs to that denomination. Leaving church meant leaving a community as well as faith.<\/p>\n

\u201cI miss that I could walk into a Nazarene church anywhere and chances are I\u2019d know someone,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

Now 58, Glendenning spends his Sundays reading, thinking, or binge-watching television.<\/p>\n

Once in a while he visits the Kansas City Oasis, a gathering place for nonbelievers that\u2019s part TED talk and part house concert, as the Kansas City Star put it. There are doughnuts, coffee, singing, and conversation but no faith.<\/p>\n

Glendenning says he could go back to church, sit in the choir and keep his lack of faith to himself. But that seems dishonest, he says.<\/p>\n

Finding a new church can be difficult<\/p>\n

Jill Taylor is trying to sort out her relationship with the church. Her dad was a pastor, and she was married to a pastor for about 15 years. Their marriage started to fall apart about 10 years ago, right around the time he left the ministry.<\/p>\n

For a while she went to a nondenominational church as she tried to adjust to her new life. But she could never get connected.<\/p>\n

Taylor later attended a church plant and then a congregation near Aurora University in Illinois, not far from where she lived. But her daughter had a hard time fitting in and so Taylor ended up not staying.<\/p>\n

As a single parent in church, she often felt out of place. At the time, she was grieving the end of her marriage as well as the loss of her place in ministry.<\/p>\n

As a pastor\u2019s wife, she had been seen as valuable. As the ex-wife of a former pastor, she was not. She felt people often wanted to set her up with someone, as if marriage would solve her problems.<\/p>\n

Now in her early 50s, Taylor is reconsidering church. She\u2019s found a congregation she likes and has visited a few times. But she\u2019s not ready to dive in yet.<\/p>\n

One reason is her personality. She\u2019s an introvert by nature and it takes time for her to connect with new people. She\u2019d rather observe for a while first.<\/p>\n

\u201cI keep everyone at an arm\u2019s length,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

God is not for her<\/p>\n

For Megan Barrett, Sunday is a day to hang out with friends.<\/p>\n

She gets up early, makes a big breakfast, then takes the kids out to the park or hosts a get-together with friends\u2014especially friends who don\u2019t go to church, since they\u2019re always free on Sunday mornings.<\/p>\n

Barrett\u2019s explanation for staying home is straightforward.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t believe in any specific god,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Barrett, a physical therapist in rural Kentucky, enjoyed going to church as kid. Her parents believed in God but didn\u2019t attend, so she went with friends instead.<\/p>\n

The activities were always fun, she says, and she wanted to fit in. Almost everyone she knew went to church.<\/p>\n

Looking back, she says, she went to church because she felt she was supposed to, not because she believed in Jesus.<\/p>\n

Once she read the Bible for herself, she started to have doubts. She loved science and math in school but felt her church looked down on education.<\/p>\n

And while people at church loved to wear WWJD merchandise, Barrett says, they didn\u2019t seem to do what Jesus would do.<\/p>\n

She eventually stopped going to church.<\/p>\n

Barrett, who describes herself as a humanist, says she\u2019s careful about sharing her disbelief. In her part of the world, people who believe in God are good, and those who don\u2019t aren\u2019t.<\/p>\n

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See also  8 Ways to Persevere in Ministry<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u201cI like to let people get to know me and figure out who I am and that I am a kind-hearted person prior to discussing my beliefs,\u201d she says. \u201cPeople are usually pretty surprised to find out this intelligent and kind person they have come to know doesn\u2019t believe in God.\u201d<\/p>\n

She\u2019s hasn\u2019t completely ruled out going back to church in the future. But she says her return is highly unlikely.<\/p>\n

\u201cI always say if there is ever credible scientific evidence that proves the existence of a higher power, then I will quickly jump on the bandwagon,\u201d she says. \u201cBut until that happens, I will not likely ever go to church.\u201d<\/p>\n

Good with God, just not the church<\/p>\n

Most Sundays, Vicki Watson is either out for a run or drinking a cup of tea rather than sitting in a pew. However, not long ago, she was very involved in church. Watson\u2019s doubts about going to church began during a debate over a church building campaign several years ago.<\/p>\n

Some members of her church wanted to spend money to expand their facilities. Others thought the money would be better spent on community outreach.<\/p>\n

Watson was in the latter group. She felt the church had become too focused on its own needs and wanted to reach out. The response to the idea of doing more outreach, says Watson, was, \u201cWe really don\u2019t want outside people coming here.\u201d<\/p>\n

That didn\u2019t work for Watson. She believed serving the community was part of the church\u2019s mission. Why are so many people missing it? she wondered.<\/p>\n

Then she looked at her own life. A Biola grad and manager at a California tech company, she\u2019s a Type A personality and a hard driver. She didn\u2019t see much evidence of the fruit of the Spirit\u2014like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control\u2014in her own life.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought, \u2018I\u2019ve spent all of this time in church trying to be a transformed person, and I don\u2019t feel like I am making very much progress,\u2019\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

So she began to look outside the church for ways to serve. She wanted to spend less time talking about Jesus in church and more time trying to live out His teachings.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t sit in the pews anymore and listen to people talk about being a servant of Christ who aren\u2019t willing to be servants to people,\u201d she says. \u201cI thought, \u2018I have to get out of here before I strangle somebody.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Along with some friends, she helped start a local nonprofit that works with the homeless. Watson and other volunteers support people as they transition from the street into a permanent home.<\/p>\n

They focus on the small things: helping folks move into their new home, providing basic household supplies, and driving them to medical appointments.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat became church for me,\u201d says Watson. \u201cBeing the community, trying to help the most vulnerable in my community, was more transformative for me than sitting in church.\u201d<\/p>\n

Watson still believes in Jesus. But she\u2019s come to believe that going to church is bad for her soul.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am not opposed to church or opposed to people going to church,\u201d she says, \u201cbut my new view is that church is there to help us feel good about ourselves. That is what the church has become, and I don\u2019t think that\u2019s what the church is supposed to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Just not that into God<\/p>\n

For Andrew Jacobsohn, a college student in Nashville, Sundays are for sleeping in, hanging out with friends, catching up on homework, and putting the busyness of life on pause.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a chance to breathe from all the craziness,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

Growing up, the only time Jacobsohn ever went to church was when he had to. His parents attended services a few times a year, mostly at Christmas or Easter, and the Catholic school he attended held mandatory Mass about once a month.<\/p>\n

Jacobsohn didn\u2019t mind going to church. But it was never his thing. So he\u2019s given it up completely since leaving for college three years ago.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not for lack of options. When people at school find out he skips church, they ask him to go with them. He politely declines.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just not interested,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

Skipping church doesn\u2019t mean he ignores matters of faith. He\u2019s read the Bible and studied theology in school and gets annoyed when his churchgoing friends think he doesn\u2019t know anything about Christianity. He\u2019s heard the Christian message and isn\u2019t buying it.<\/p>\n

Jacobsohn says he\u2019s thought about the meaning of life and what happens after death. So far he hasn\u2019t figured it out. That doesn\u2019t bother him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am OK with not having a clear answer,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

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Bob Smietana<\/h2>\n

@bobsmietana<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Bob is the former senior writer for Lifeway Research. In September 2018, he joined Religion News Service, where he currently serves as a national writer.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n