{"id":33795,"date":"2022-09-10T21:03:00","date_gmt":"2022-09-11T02:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/a-guide-to-investments\/"},"modified":"2022-09-10T21:03:00","modified_gmt":"2022-09-11T02:03:00","slug":"a-guide-to-investments","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/a-guide-to-investments\/","title":{"rendered":"A Guide to Investments"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><strong>STOCK:<\/strong> A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.<\/div>\n<div> <\/div>\n<div><strong>BOND:<\/strong> What you had with your spouse until you pawned his\/her golf clubs to invest in Pets.com.<\/div>\n<div> <\/div>\n<div><strong>BROKER:<\/strong> The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell <em>Broke<\/em>.<\/div>\n<div> <\/div>\n<div><strong>BEAR:<\/strong> What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.<\/div>\n<div> <\/div>\n<div><strong>BULL:<\/strong> What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.<\/div>\n<div> <\/div>\n<div><strong>MARGIN: <\/strong>Where you scribble the latest quotes when you&#8217;re supposed to be listening to your manager&#8217;s presentation.<\/div>\n<div> <\/div>\n<div><strong>SHORT POSITION:<\/strong> A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn&#8217;t actually own. Because this also only works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e., &#8220;The rent, sir? Hahaha, well, I&#8217;m a little short this month.&#8221;).<\/div>\n<div> <\/div>\n<div><strong>COMMISSION:<\/strong> The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one. (from Cybersalt.org)<\/div>\n<div style='clear:both'><\/div>\n<div class='the_champ_sharing_container the_champ_horizontal_sharing' data-super-socializer-href=\"https:\/\/www.preaching.com\/articles\/a-guide-to-investments\/\">\n<div class='the_champ_sharing_title' style=\"font-weight:bold\">Share This On:<\/div>\n<div class=\"the_champ_sharing_ul\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style='clear:both'><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50. BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his\/her golf clubs to invest in Pets.com. BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/a-guide-to-investments\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;A Guide to Investments&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33795","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33795"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33795\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}