Given that this past Sunday was Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is around the corner, it seems appropriate to offer these definitions used by experienced parents:<\/p>\n
AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have kids again.<\/p>\n
DEFENSE: what you’d better have around the yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.<\/p>\n
DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins.<\/p>\n
DUMB WAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.<\/p>\n
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.<\/p>\n
FULL NAME: what you call your child when you’re mad at him.<\/p>\n
GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are perfect even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.<\/p>\n
HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a bad word.<\/p>\n
INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.<\/p>\n
LOOK OUT!: what it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.<\/p>\n
OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.<\/p>\n
PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.<\/p>\n
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.<\/p>\n
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.<\/p>\n
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.<\/p>\n
STOREROOM: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.<\/p>\n
TEMPER TANTRUMS: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.<\/p>\n
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.<\/p>\n
TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.<\/p>\n
WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into “Get a mop.”<\/p>\n
Given that this past Sunday was Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is around the corner, it seems appropriate to offer these definitions used by experienced parents: AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have kids again. DEFENSE: what you’d better have around the yard if you’re going to let the … Continue reading “Speak Like a Parent”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33887","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33887","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33887"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33887\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33887"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33887"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33887"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}