{"id":35032,"date":"2022-09-10T21:52:44","date_gmt":"2022-09-11T02:52:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/when-pastors-need-a-pastor-an-interview-with-h-b-london\/"},"modified":"2022-09-10T21:52:44","modified_gmt":"2022-09-11T02:52:44","slug":"when-pastors-need-a-pastor-an-interview-with-h-b-london","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/when-pastors-need-a-pastor-an-interview-with-h-b-london\/","title":{"rendered":"When Pastors Need A Pastor: An Interview With H.B. London"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>H.B.<br \/> London Jr. is vice president of Ministry Outreach\/Pastoral Ministries for Focus<br \/> on the Family. A pastor for 31 years, he now communicates with thousands of<br \/> pastors and church leaders each week through &#8220;The Pastor&#8217;s Weekly Briefing&#8221;<br \/> (via email) and produces a bimonthly Pastor to Pastor cassette. In his work<br \/> at Focus, London serves as liaison to pastors and churches &#8211; a &#8220;pastor to pastors.&#8221;<br \/> He recently visited with Preaching editor Michael Duduit.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> How did you and Focus on the Family become involved with a ministry to pastors<br \/> and their families?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London:<br \/> I was James Dobson&#8217;s pastor in Southern California. We were sitting at dinner<br \/> one night talking about all the mail that was coming to Focus on the Family,<br \/> and he made the statement that there was a certain percentage of crisis mail<br \/> that was coming out of&nbsp; clergy homes. He said, &#8220;Do you think there&#8217;s a way we<br \/> can work together on behalf of the clergy family?&#8221; Jim and I are first cousins<br \/> and only children, so we were raised like brothers &#8211; we didn&#8217;t know if the arrangement<br \/> would work very well or not. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">The<br \/> end of 1991 we left our church in Pasadena, California and moved to Colorado<br \/> Springs. The theme of our ministry became Every Moses Needs an Aaron, which<br \/> means that every Moses &#8211; meaning the pastor &#8211; needs someone to hold up their<br \/> arms in the midst of battle &#8211; to encourage them, to affirm them. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">When<br \/> I got there, we did surveys and found several things. We found that, however<br \/> you say it, in nearly every pastor there is isolation. They have all these dreams,<br \/> and often no one to share them with. They&#8217;re lonely. They don&#8217;t know whom to<br \/> trust. They feel inadequate, because the issues we face today are more perplexing<br \/> and complex than we&#8217;ve ever had before. As a result of that we&#8217;re not always<br \/> sure of how to deal with them. And there is a kind of insecurity &#8211; the insecurity<br \/> that comes from the constituency of the congregation being consumer minded,<br \/> saying not so much &#8220;What can I do for the church?&#8221; but &#8220;What can the church<br \/> do for me?&#8221; They develop an entitlement. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">And<br \/> then among the pastor&#8217;s wives we found similar things, only we found that loneliness<br \/> was at the top of the list. Then there was great concern over the husband&#8217;s<br \/> schedule. There&#8217;s not enough time to spend with family so life is out of balance.<br \/> We also found that women like to nest. They don&#8217;t like to move all the time<br \/> but so many pastors move about every two, three, four years, and as a result<br \/> of that the wives never really get to put down to build their nest, so to speak.<br \/> And we found a great deal of concern about children. What are we going to do<br \/> about our kids? What if our kids don&#8217;t want to go to church anymore? What if<br \/> they see so much contention that they&#8217;re turned off by the church and they don&#8217;t<br \/> want anything to do with it? <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">So<br \/> we just came on board and God gave us this vision that our role was to facilitate<br \/> spiritual restoration and renewal. We really think that the pastor has got to<br \/> be at their strongest point of intimacy with God if they&#8217;re going to be strong<br \/> enough for the battle. After that, to come along side and help them manage their<br \/> time and their finances and their personal lives, and then to be a catalyst<br \/> for revival. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> What are some of things that you encourage pastors to do in the process of bringing<br \/> that renewal into their own lives?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London:<br \/> There are three things that we find. We have a clergy care line at Focus on<br \/> the Family. We handle about 600 crisis calls a month. That&#8217;s every state in<br \/> the United States and many foreign countries that call us. And when we find<br \/> a pastor in real crisis we find three things. We find 1.) There is very little<br \/> accountability; 2.) There are unresolved conflicts in the home between the husband,<br \/> the wife, the son, the daughter, whatever; 3.) There is a lack of intimacy.<br \/> They just don&#8217;t spend much time with God. They are so busy that they try to<br \/> short cut their relationship, and nearly always it gets them.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> How do you go about encouraging them to deal with those issues?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London:<br \/> Only about 30 to 40% of pastors have anyone that they feel close to, so the<br \/> number one thing is accountability. We&#8217;ve developed what we call the Shepherd&#8217;s<br \/> Covenant at Focus on the Family; that&#8217;s based on the acronym G.R.A.C.E. &#8211; Genuine<br \/> accountability. Right relationships. A shepherd&#8217;s heart. Constant safeguards.<br \/> Embracing Christ intimately. It&#8217;s identified by a little lapel pin that has<br \/> the shepherd&#8217;s crook on it. Thousands of guys have involved themselves in it<br \/> and every Monday I send them an email to encourage them to stand true, but first<br \/> of all you&#8217;ve got to have the accountability. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Second<br \/> thing is you&#8217;ve got to make the most of your mornings. So many pastors play<br \/> catch up and you&#8217;ve got to make the most of your mornings. You&#8217;ve got to give<br \/> the first fruits of your day to the Lord if at all possible. We don&#8217;t pay attention<br \/> to the most important thing. Sometimes we&#8217;re so busy putting out the fires that<br \/> we&#8217;re not quieting ourselves before the Lord to receive the strength we need<br \/> for what He&#8217;s called us to do. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">I<br \/> think the other thing is you&#8217;ve got to find balance. The average pastor works<br \/> from 50 to 70 hours a week. Statistics say that if you don&#8217;t give 55 hours a<br \/> week your church won&#8217;t grow. Well that&#8217;s not true, because three quarters of<br \/> churches in America aren&#8217;t growing anyway and I know pastors are giving many<br \/> of them more than 55 hours, so that&#8217;s not the reason. There needs to be a balance<br \/> between family and constituency.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">And<br \/> then &#8211; I talk about this a lot &#8211; a pastor&#8217;s got to take care of himself physically.<br \/> I see so many people whom God has invested in but have short changed God&#8217;s investment<br \/> because they don&#8217;t take care of themselves physically. My big thing is: just<br \/> check the gauges. I&#8217;ve got four gauges and an indicator on the spiritual dashboard<br \/> for pastors that I talk about. If you don&#8217;t check the gauges, if you run out<br \/> of gas, if you&#8217;ve become eccentric, then your ministry&#8217;s going to suffer and<br \/> so will the body of Christ. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> One thing that keeps on reoccurring in our conversation is the issue of time.<br \/> Time is one of the real battlegrounds for pastors, isn&#8217;t it?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London: <br \/> Yeah it is. Time is important, and my belief is pastors are terribly poor time<br \/> managers. If we had assigned to us a 9 to 6 or 8 to 5 day we could probably<br \/> get more done than we do. But because we have free time &#8211; and because in many<br \/> ways pastors are terribly slow self-starters or because we travel so much &#8211;<br \/> I think that we are our own worst enemy. We make it almost impossible to be<br \/> good time managers because we allow so many things to come in. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> Several years ago we started a magazine for ministry wives that was edited by<br \/> Jill Briscoe, Just Between Us. [It&#8217;s now published by Jill and Elmbrook<br \/> Church; www.justbetweenus.org] One of things I recall is some of the letters<br \/> that we would get from pastor&#8217;s wives &#8211; letters coming out of broken hearts<br \/> because of some of the issues we&#8217;ve talked about. How can we help those pastors&#8217;<br \/> wives who are dealing with such issues?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London: <br \/> The thing that breaks my heart more than any is to receive those kind of letters<br \/> and know that in many ways that lady is almost a slave to the church and the<br \/> unrealistic expectations of the congregation. For some reason, so many pastors&#8217;<br \/> wives have been sold a bill of goods that says, &#8220;Your husband&#8217;s success is going<br \/> to be validated by your behavior or your performance, or your involvement,&#8221;<br \/> to the point where so many of these ladies have lost their identity. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">I<br \/> wrote a book one time entitled Married to a Pastor&#8217;s Wife &#8211; a little<br \/> play on words. The theme of that book was: be yourself. Ever pastor&#8217;s wife has<br \/> got to find her own identity. They&#8217;ve got to find how they want to use their<br \/> gifts and their graces. They&#8217;ve got to find how they re going to relate to the<br \/> community. Are they going to find their identity in the community or the church,<br \/> or are they going to sit at the piano and bat their eyelashes at their husband,<br \/> or are they going to involve themselves in ministry in some other way? There&#8217;s<br \/> a scripture in 2 Timothy 1:7 where Paul was talking to Timothy and said, &#8220;I&#8217;m<br \/> reminded of the sincere faith that first I saw in your grandmother then in your<br \/> mother and then in you.&#8221; And I really do believe that regardless of whether<br \/> or not that pastor&#8217;s wife is involved in the church, that she becomes in many<br \/> ways the anchor in that family to live consistently before children, to love<br \/> her husband, to encourage others about the church &#8211; not to disparage the church<br \/> but to set a tone in that pastors home, parsonage, or whatever, that is like<br \/> a sanctuary. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">My<br \/> wife, Beverly, that&#8217;s what she did. There were some places we didn&#8217;t like but<br \/> our home was our sanctuary. It was a place where &#8211; when we shut the doors and<br \/> pulled the blinds &#8211; it was our house. Nobody else&#8217;s. They could kick us out<br \/> but as long as we were in it, it was our house. I think every pastor&#8217;s wife<br \/> deserves to have a place to call home and to establish herself and her own identity<br \/> in that community, in that church. You cannot live on unrealistic expectations<br \/> because there is no way to satisfy everybody.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">I&#8217;ve<br \/> got a message that I deliver that is probably my most popular message wherever<br \/> I go. I talk about the five things that Beverly taught me as a pastor&#8217;s wife.<br \/> And so many pastors&#8217; wives identify with that because they&#8217;ll come up to me<br \/> afterward and say, &#8220;Man, I&#8217;d like to meet Beverly. She&#8217;s the kind of lady that<br \/> I&#8217;d like to be!&#8221; or &#8220;I&#8217;m like Beverly&#8221; or whatever. Beverly&#8217;s my greatest asset,<br \/> because as an only child I was kind of insecure. I came out of four generations<br \/> of pastors and my whole life was based on the church and building the church<br \/> and growing the church and being popular in the church. One day she said, &#8220;You&#8217;ve<br \/> got to make a decision: is it going to be the church or is it going to be your<br \/> family?&#8221; I learned that the most important members of my congregation are my<br \/> wife and children. Everybody else pales in comparison to them. That&#8217;s easy to<br \/> say. That even makes sense to say but how to practice that is a whole other<br \/> story. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> What are some of the other things Beverly taught you?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London: <br \/> Well, first of all she taught me to let me find my place. Don&#8217;t pigeon hole<br \/> me. Don&#8217;t put me into areas that I feel uncomfortable. If you&#8217;ll let me do what<br \/> I do best most often, then you&#8217;ll be happier and the church will be better served.<br \/> I think that was one thing. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">I<br \/> think the other thing she taught me was that I love the church but I love her<br \/> and the kids more. See I was raised in a pastor&#8217;s home and my folks were always<br \/> out doing stuff. I remember growing up very lonely as a child, and because I<br \/> had that modeling as a young 23-year-old pastor &#8211; I came out of seminary at<br \/> 23 &#8211; I didn&#8217;t know how to properly be a father or husband because I had a very<br \/> poor role model. As a result of that I thought that my ministry was validated<br \/> by Beverly&#8217;s involvement. But I also found the church will place on you everything<br \/> they possibly can and then come back for more. Somewhere along the way you&#8217;ve<br \/> got to say stop. So we would just say openly, &#8220;This is how Beverly will be serving<br \/> the church the next 6 months, this is what my kids will doing. They&#8217;ll be playing<br \/> basketball a lot and I&#8217;ll be going to their games, and you just need to know<br \/> that if you don&#8217;t see us at every little opening of the doors that there&#8217;s a<br \/> good reason for that.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">I<br \/> think that the other thing that she taught me was to be honest with her. At<br \/> Focus on the Family, I deal with so many crisis situations where the pastor<br \/> and his wife were not honest with each other about absenteeism or about intimacy<br \/> or about pornography or about gambling or about emotional affairs, and because<br \/> they weren&#8217;t honest it escalated into something that almost became too broken<br \/> to mend. I believe that pastor&#8217;s wives &#8211; they have antennas that just go to<br \/> the sky. They can pick up every little bleep and bloop and everything, and we<br \/> need to listen to them. Pastors need to listen to their wives because we are<br \/> kind of like gladiators in the arena. We&#8217;re battling it out in there and our<br \/> wives are sitting in the grandstand watching. They see the dangers coming but<br \/> we&#8217;re so busy fighting this battle that we don&#8217;t see the dangers coming up behind<br \/> us. Wives can really help us with that. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">The<br \/> other thing she did for me was she helped me choose my battle. She helped me<br \/> realize that I didn&#8217;t have to win all the time. In fact it was good if I lost<br \/> some. I remember one day she just said to me, &#8220;You know, you&#8217;ve got blood everywhere.<br \/> You just picked two hills you&#8217;re willing to die on, and at least if something<br \/> happened to you I&#8217;d know where to find you.&#8221; In my mindset I was an athlete.<br \/> I wanted to win. I loved the game. The final score was important to me. Finally<br \/> one day she just said: it doesn&#8217;t matter who wins. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">And<br \/> then the other thing she said is: I&#8217;ll follow you wherever God leads you. I&#8217;m<br \/> not sure I&#8217;m called to be a pastor&#8217;s wife &#8211; and she was one for 31 years &#8211; but<br \/> she said, &#8220;I&#8217;ll promise you that I&#8217;ll follow you wherever God leads you.&#8221; We<br \/> did a survey at Focus on the Family before I spoke at a large conference of<br \/> women several months ago and found that it&#8217;s pretty well split. Fifty percent<br \/> of the pastor&#8217;s wives feel called, fifty percent of them though osmosis or whatever<br \/> just became a pastor&#8217;s wife.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> What can churches do to help pastors and their families?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London:<br \/> I think the first thing is &#8211; this sounds trite &#8211; I think every church needs<br \/> to have a pastoral care committee. I&#8217;m not talking about deacons, or elders,<br \/> or trustees. I&#8217;m talking about a pastor&#8217;s concern committee whose sole responsibility<br \/> is to look after the needs of the pastor, their families and their staff. That<br \/> has to do with compensation. That has to do with if the church owns the home<br \/> what kind of condition the home is in. It has to do with the kind of car the<br \/> pastor drives, is he safe? It has to do with insurance, medical insurance, retirement.<br \/> It has to do with that whole thing that some churches &#8211; especially smaller churches<br \/> &#8211; we kind of dominate them; they&#8217;re like the hired hand. And they&#8217;re not. They&#8217;re<br \/> called-out servants of God. Every church needs a pastoral concern committee. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Then<br \/> I think beyond that every church needs a group of people &#8211; and this is not everybody;<br \/> I really believe people are called, it&#8217;s a gifting &#8211; who will commit to pray<br \/> for the pastor and staff. No pastor should walk out into a congregation without<br \/> having the hands of the elders laid on him and prayed for. Without the anointing<br \/> of God we&#8217;re like gun shells in a gun without any gunpowder. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">And<br \/> I think every church needs to let their pastor dream. I think so many pastors<br \/> are afraid to think outside the box. They find themselves so pigeon holed by<br \/> a power group of deacons or elders who are just satisfied with the status quo.<br \/> Ever pastor needs to dream the impossible dream. And because the church is changing<br \/> so much, congregations need to insist that their pastors are continually learning,<br \/> studying, improving themselves, becoming conversant about the generational issues<br \/> and the issues of how to do church better and how to do it more effectively. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Then<br \/> I think the church has got to really look at itself very close. The Bible says<br \/> let a man examine himself. Well, I say let a church examine itself. Contention<br \/> and bitterness and a sense of malice is destroying church after church after<br \/> church. I read the other day that 53% of churches in America have allowed themselves<br \/> to become so contentious that it has resulted in a lessening effect in the community<br \/> and a decreasing number of attenders. In fact the Associated Press did a survey<br \/> several years ago asking people who don&#8217;t go to church why they don&#8217;t go to<br \/> church anymore. Of course, the first reason was church wasn&#8217;t relevant. In the<br \/> top five was there is so much contention in the church that I feel uncomfortable<br \/> there.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> How has the pastorate changed over the years? You were in the pastorate for<br \/> a number of years and now you work with pastors. How has it changed?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London: <br \/> I was a pastor for 31 years. I think that the church has changed in that there<br \/> used to be a very distinct difference between a Baptist church, a Methodist<br \/> church, a Nazarene church, a Presbyterian church, an Evangelical Free church.<br \/> There was a doctrinal or theological difference that you were aware of. You<br \/> could go into just about any church (of that denomination) across the country<br \/> and there would be a sense of sameness about it. Now I&#8217;m not sure most churches<br \/> know who they are; their theology has become kind of a blend of many other theologies.<br \/> Where once there was a time where denominational leaders had a voice, today<br \/> there is a handful of popular pastors or professional ministers that dictate<br \/> the direction of the church. I think that&#8217;s one way we&#8217;ve really changed. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">I<br \/> think another way it&#8217;s changed is that we&#8217;ve lost the urgency for the lost.<br \/> I don&#8217;t thing we&#8217;re driven by the reality of the number of unsaved people that<br \/> live around us. Evangelism is basically dead in much of the church. I think<br \/> another thing that&#8217;s happened is that we&#8217;ve developed a kind of feel-good mentality.<br \/> Make me feel good. I know there&#8217;s no condemnation in Jesus but I don&#8217;t want<br \/> to be convicted. I&#8217;ll get angry at you if you make me feel convicted. I think<br \/> now that we&#8217;ve moved into megachurch world where it&#8217;s the Wal-Mart mentality<br \/> &#8211; one-stop shopping. We&#8217;re closing so many small churches every week but the<br \/> truth of the matter is that the mega churches &#8211; the 850 or so megachurches with<br \/> 2,000 and above &#8211; really only service about 3 million people on Sunday out of<br \/> the 300 million people in the United States. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">The<br \/> other thing is a lot of young men and women are leaving the ministry. Where<br \/> in my generation 20 or 30 years ago, you wouldn&#8217;t think of leaving the ministry,<br \/> today young men and women are opting out very early after seminary or Bible<br \/> college. Yet one of the things that has changed is that we do church now better<br \/> than we&#8217;ve ever done it. Technology has improved. Delivery systems have improved.<br \/> Just the whole internet systems we can use to enhance ministry. That&#8217;s improved<br \/> greatly. But it&#8217;s obvious that the technology is not the answer. I still think<br \/> that the servant, shepherd, pastor is the one that over time will be the most<br \/> effective.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> One of the realities of the church in America &#8211; particularly the mainline churches<br \/> &#8211; is the increasing role of women in ministry. I don&#8217;t know how much work you<br \/> all do with that group through Focus. Have you been dealing with issues that<br \/> challenge the husbands of those women serving in pastoral roles? <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London:<br \/> All the time. You know Jim Dobson and I come from a Nazarene background. (I&#8217;m<br \/> not sure what I am anymore because I&#8217;ve been in some 90 different denominations<br \/> since I started this ministry!) But our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers<br \/> were ministers, so our mothers weren&#8217;t ordained but they were in the ministry.<br \/> Our grandmother and great-grandmother were ordained, so we&#8217;ve known that all<br \/> our lives. So we don&#8217;t have any trouble with that aspect of it. But the number<br \/> one criticism we get in our pastoral ministry division is: you&#8217;re excluding<br \/> and ignoring women in ministry. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">So<br \/> Focus on the Family has this little slogan in our ministry: We Minister to Anyone<br \/> Who Ministers. We&#8217;re not going to deal with the theology of it. We can&#8217;t. It&#8217;s<br \/> just like if you were running an emergency room and a Baptist came in and you<br \/> say &#8220;OK, I can treat this Baptist but this Methodist over here is much more<br \/> liberal than you are so I can&#8217;t treat them.&#8221; Well, we see ourselves and our<br \/> ministry as an emergency room in many ways, so our role is to minister to anyone<br \/> who ministers. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">When<br \/> I go to pastor&#8217;s conferences there are always &#8211; I guarantee you &#8211; there are<br \/> always three or four women pastors that come up and say, &#8220;We appreciate the<br \/> information you gave but it didn&#8217;t touch on what I&#8217;m going through. My husband<br \/> feels like he&#8217;s just kind of a third arm and he just kind of sits there, and<br \/> he&#8217;s become &#8216;Reverend Mary&#8217;s husband&#8217; and he&#8217;s fighting it &#8211; he doesn&#8217;t want<br \/> to come to church anymore.&#8221; What I say to them is you&#8217;ve got to be sensitive<br \/> to that because your marriage is more important than your ministry. You&#8217;ve got<br \/> to figure out a way to deal with those kinds of things or you&#8217;re going to invalidate<br \/> your effectiveness. But the answer to the question is we are not very good at<br \/> addressing the needs of women pastors. And I really do think that they are going<br \/> to have to form a coalition of their own. Not a union. Not like the National<br \/> Organization of Women. Not a fighting organization but an organization where<br \/> they have similar needs and similar situations where they can help one another<br \/> go through these things, because I&#8217;m not sure that we&#8217;ve got those answers yet. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> Preaching to the issues of family &#8211; what are things that you think pastors can<br \/> do through their preaching and teaching ministries that can help strengthen<br \/> families?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London: <br \/> Well, I&#8217;m not sure about all the preaching, because a lot of that preaching<br \/> is going to end up with a lot of guilt, especially on fathers. I think three<br \/> things: I think number one we&#8217;ve got to teach and preach the significance and<br \/> the value of marriage. We cannot allow ourselves to fall into the trap that<br \/> the world is trying to say to us, that the definition of marriage can be bounced<br \/> around or contested. Naturally from a very conservative ministry like I&#8217;m from<br \/> &#8211; Focus on the Family &#8211; we believe wholeheartedly that marriage is between a<br \/> man and woman and lasts forever. We know that there are going to be divorces.<br \/> We&#8217;re aware of that. But we still believe that in God&#8217;s ideal of marriage for<br \/> a lifetime. I think the second thing is we&#8217;ve got to help our parents learn<br \/> how to parent the children. There are so many fragmented and separated homes<br \/> and stepfamilies and variations of families and single parents &#8211; all these kind<br \/> of things. The church has a responsibility to cover the bases. I don&#8217;t know<br \/> how but with people sitting in the pew, 40% of them have been divorced, 60%<br \/> of those who have been remarried are going to get divorced. Children from three<br \/> different marriages are trying to balance when we go to church &#8211; when we don&#8217;t<br \/> go to church, how do we find stability when my child can only be at church once<br \/> every three weeks. The church has to step in there. We can&#8217;t just stand by and<br \/> watch the avalanche. It&#8217;s not just something that we have the luxury&nbsp;of observing<br \/> &#8211; we&#8217;ve got to walk into that. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">The<br \/> third thing &#8211; and this is really key to me &#8211; I think the economy of church growth<br \/> and the economy of healthy churches is based on the father. If we don&#8217;t teach<br \/> fathers how to be fathers and husbands and churchmen, we&#8217;re going to continue<br \/> to struggle as the body of Christ. I&#8217;ve practiced it and I believe it &#8211; even<br \/> if pastors still laugh at me as a result of it &#8211; but I made ministry to men,<br \/> the fathers my priority. It was the most important thing I did as a pastor because<br \/> it has been statistically proven that if you can get a committed father into<br \/> the church loving Jesus Christ and his family, then 94% of the time all the<br \/> family will follow and be blessed by the relationship.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> Elsewhere in this issue we have an interview with David Murrow, who writes about<br \/> why men don&#8217;t want to come to church. He talks about the feminization of the<br \/> church. Do you see that as a factor in reaching men?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London:<br \/> In so many ways men have abdicated their role of leadership in the church. Because<br \/> women are often more aggressive and in many ways more mature and more biblically<br \/> based they take on a lot of the leadership &#8211; they may not sit on deacon boards<br \/> but they still are the driving force behind what happens in the church. I see<br \/> that in the kind of songs we sing. I&#8217;m not sure that most men like to sing love<br \/> songs. I think they like to sing &#8220;Onward Christian Soldiers&#8221; and &#8220;We&#8217;re Marching<br \/> to Zion.&#8221; I think men like to sing cheerleading songs. I don&#8217;t think they like<br \/> to sing love songs. I think that women and teenagers like to stand and sing<br \/> 40 minutes and just sing songs. I don&#8217;t think the average guy likes to stand<br \/> up in church and sing songs for 45 minutes, especially if you can&#8217;t hum them<br \/> when it&#8217;s over. I just don&#8217;t. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">I<br \/> think the average man is immature spiritually; they don&#8217;t have a Christian worldview.<br \/> They don&#8217;t even know the beginning of what a Christian worldview is. Barna&#8217;s<br \/> statistics prove that only 9% of those going to church have a Christian worldview.<br \/> I think that men who don&#8217;t take that responsible role of leader in the home<br \/> spiritually abdicate that role to the wife, and that literally oozes over into<br \/> what the church is. And the truth is most men would rather watch football than<br \/> correct their children. I don&#8217;t say that sarcastically but if you&#8217;d ask the<br \/> average father how much influence they have on their children&#8217;s day-to-day lives<br \/> I guarantee you it&#8217;d be very small, so they abdicate that also to the wife and<br \/> mother. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">In<br \/> an interview like this I can&#8217;t define what biblical manhood is, but I base what<br \/> I do on the 2 Timothy 2:2 scripture where we teach and give to faithful, teachable,<br \/> reliable men truths that we can pass on to other men. I think that men need<br \/> to feel a part of something. They need to feel like they are making a contribution.<br \/> They need to feel like they are being listened to. They need to feel like they<br \/> have influence. But they&#8217;re not going to accept that responsibility if they<br \/> are not taught and given guidance and given mentoring and also given an example<br \/> of what they should be. So many fathers in America still deal with the whole<br \/> issue of God&#8217;s love because they&#8217;ve had such a poor relationship with their<br \/> father. I don&#8217;t mean to use that as a crutch but it&#8217;s really true. I read somewhere<br \/> the other day where a full 20-30% of men are still angry at their fathers even<br \/> 10 or 20 years after their dads are dead. Well, you can imagine how that anger,<br \/> that frustration will affect and influence how we treat kids and how we treat<br \/> our spouses, how we look at the church and even how we look at God. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Preaching:<br \/> What do you want to say to pastors and preachers that I haven&#8217;t asked you?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">London:<br \/> I want to say to them that Bill Hybels didn&#8217;t call them and Rick Warren didn&#8217;t<br \/> call them and John Maxwell didn&#8217;t call them and Jim Dobson didn&#8217;t call them<br \/> and Billy Graham didn&#8217;t call them and Chuck Colson didn&#8217;t call them and whomever<br \/> else they want to put on that list didn&#8217;t call them. That one day God looked<br \/> at them and in that moment of decision tapped them on the shoulder and said,<br \/> &#8220;Follow me,&#8221; and we left everything to do that. He didn&#8217;t call us all to be<br \/> superstars or megachurch pastors &#8211; He just called us. He said, &#8220;Surrender your<br \/> gifts and your graces to me and bloom where you&#8217;re planted and I promise to<br \/> never leave you nor forsake you.&#8221; I would like to say to pastors today that<br \/> they need to look back in time and rethink their call and rethink their mission.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">But<br \/> then they need to recognize that God, because of His investment, wants to see<br \/> dividends. We can&#8217;t always be looking over God&#8217;s shoulder to see what He&#8217;s got<br \/> coming for us next. We need to look Him in the eye and say, &#8220;What do you have<br \/> for me right now?&#8221; And we shouldn&#8217;t put ourselves down or disparage our effectiveness<br \/> simply because we pastor a small church or a power-based church or a church<br \/> that&#8217;s in a dying community. That has nothing to do with it. What everything<br \/> has to do with is the call of God in our lives and our making the most of the<br \/> opportunities given us. We&#8217;re not all created equal and the rewards will not<br \/> always be equal as far as earthly rewards. The &#8220;well done&#8221; that comes from God<br \/> when we see Him someday is the most significant reward. <\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">I<br \/> think when Paul was talking about contentment in Philippians 4 it surely wasn&#8217;t<br \/> because he was happy in jail. It was because he knew that he was where God would<br \/> have him for that moment, and that one day this would end and the true contentment<br \/> would come when he received his final reward, when he talked to Timothy about<br \/> his crown and that kind of thing. I just don&#8217;t think we have the right to diminish<br \/> God&#8217;s call in our lives by comparing ourselves to other people or other churches<br \/> or other situations. We must make the most of where we are now, because eternity<br \/> depends on it. The moment we start feeling sorry for ourselves, then we get<br \/> our eyes off the mission and put our eyes on our self and when you do that then<br \/> there&#8217;ll always be heartbreak. <\/p>\n<div style='clear:both'><\/div>\n<div class='the_champ_sharing_container the_champ_horizontal_sharing' data-super-socializer-href=\"https:\/\/www.preaching.com\/articles\/when-pastors-need-a-pastor-an-interview-with-h-b-london\/\">\n<div class='the_champ_sharing_title' style=\"font-weight:bold\">Share This On:<\/div>\n<div class=\"the_champ_sharing_ul\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style='clear:both'><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>H.B. London Jr. is vice president of Ministry Outreach\/Pastoral Ministries for Focus on the Family. A pastor for 31 years, he now communicates with thousands of pastors and church leaders each week through &#8220;The Pastor&#8217;s Weekly Briefing&#8221; (via email) and produces a bimonthly Pastor to Pastor cassette. In his work at Focus, London serves as &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/when-pastors-need-a-pastor-an-interview-with-h-b-london\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;When Pastors Need A Pastor: An Interview With H.B. London&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35032","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35032"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35032\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}