{"id":44862,"date":"2022-10-01T01:33:00","date_gmt":"2022-10-01T06:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/no-excuse-sunday-bible-study\/"},"modified":"2022-10-01T01:33:00","modified_gmt":"2022-10-01T06:33:00","slug":"no-excuse-sunday-bible-study","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/no-excuse-sunday-bible-study\/","title":{"rendered":"No Excuse Sunday! &#8211; Bible study"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The following parody by an unknown author will hopefully make us &#8220;think&#8221; with regards to our attending worship services:<\/p>\n<p>In order to make it possible for everyone to attend church services next week, we are planning a special &#8220;No Excuse Sunday.&#8221;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Cots will be placed in the vestibule for those who say; &#8220;Sunday is my only day for sleeping in.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Eye drops will be available for those whose eyes are tired from watching TV too late on Saturday night.<\/li>\n<li>We will have steel helmets for those who believe the roof will &#8220;cave in&#8221; if they show up for church services.<\/li>\n<li>Blankets will be furnished for those who complain that the church building is &#8220;too cold&#8221;. Fans will be on hand for those who say, the church building is &#8220;too hot.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard.<\/li>\n<li>We will have hearing aids for the members who say; the preacher doesn&#8217;t talk loud enough. There will be cotton for those who say; the preacher talks too loud.<\/li>\n<li>Score cards will be available for those who wish to count the hypocrites!<\/li>\n<li>We guarantee that some relatives will be present for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.<\/li>\n<li>There will be TV dinners available for those who claim they can&#8217;t go to church and cook dinner, too.<\/li>\n<li>One section of the church will have some trees and grass for those who see God in nature, especially on the golf course!<\/li>\n<li>For the fishermen &#8211; we will stock the baptistery pool full of fish.<\/li>\n<li>Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.<\/li>\n<li>The auditorium will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never worshipped without them.<\/li>\n<li>We will have representatives from the finest clothing stores for our weekly give-away, that&#8217;s right, &#8220;Free&#8221; clothes and accessories, for those of you who have absolutely &#8220;nothing to wear!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>By the way &#8220;<\/strong><strong> See you at church services Sunday!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The following parody by an unknown author will hopefully make us &#8220;think&#8221; with regards to our attending worship services: In order to make it possible for everyone to attend church services next week, we are planning a special &#8220;No Excuse Sunday.&#8221; Cots will be placed in the vestibule for those who say; &#8220;Sunday is my &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/no-excuse-sunday-bible-study\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;No Excuse Sunday! &#8211; Bible study&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-44862","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44862","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44862"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44862\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}