Topics:<\/b> Anger; Apathy; Arguments; Conflict; Emotions; Feelings; Insensitivity; Marriage; Needs; Passivity; Relationships; Spouses<\/p>\n
References:<\/b> 1 Corinthians 7:1\u20137; 13:4\u20137; Ephesians 5:22\u201333; Colossians 3:18\u201319; 1 Peter 3:7<\/p>\n
Recently Jana and I weathered one of the most stressful weeks in our marriage. I had spent two weeks traveling for business, and now I had to prepare presentations to make to clients. It was also the week that Jana moved her mother into a retirement home. I couldn\u2019t help with the move because of my work commitments, plus I had to spend time watching the kids while she got her mom settled. By the end of that week, we were exhausted.<\/p>\n
On Sunday evening I ran to my office (which is ten minutes away) to pick up some work. I left without telling Jana. She was busy checking her email, so I thought I\u2019d just step out, go to the office, and come back; I wouldn\u2019t even be missed.<\/p>\n
When I came home, Jana said: \u201cDave, you were gone for thirty minutes. You know I hate when you don\u2019t tell me you\u2019re leaving. Are you mad at me?\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought, Am I?<\/i> I knew I wasn\u2019t. But by leaving without telling Jana, I was being passive-aggressive. I\u2019d had a couple of weeks where I wasn\u2019t getting any attention, and I responded by becoming passive, thinking, I\u2019ll just leave and see if she misses me<\/i>.<\/p>\n
Passivity, or not taking initiative in your marriage, is a spiritual issue, because underneath is a deep current that says, \u201cMy needs aren\u2019t getting met, so I\u2019m not going to meet your needs.\u201d That\u2019s a spiritually dangerous and crippling place to be.<\/p>\n
\u2014Dave Goetz, \u201cMarital Drift,\u201d Marriage Partnership<\/i> (Winter 2006)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Topics: Anger; Apathy; Arguments; Conflict; Emotions; Feelings; Insensitivity; Marriage; Needs; Passivity; Relationships; Spouses References: 1 Corinthians 7:1\u20137; 13:4\u20137; Ephesians 5:22\u201333; Colossians 3:18\u201319; 1 Peter 3:7 Recently Jana and I weathered one of the most stressful weeks in our marriage. I had spent two weeks traveling for business, and now I had to prepare presentations to … Continue reading “ARE
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