Quarreled<\/b><\/p>\n
One New Year\u2019s Eve at London\u2019s Garrick Club, British dramatist Frederick Lonsdale was asked by Symour Hicks to reconcile with a fellow member. The two had quarreled in the past and never restored their friendship. \u201cYou must,\u201d Hicks said to Lonsdale. \u201cIt is very unkind to be unfriendly at such a time. Go over now and wish him a happy New Year.\u201d<\/p>\n
So Lonsdale crossed the room and spoke to his enemy. \u201cI wish you a happy New Year,\u201d he said, \u201cbut only one.\u201d<\/p>\n
Today in the Word, July 5, 1993<\/p>\n
One for a Friend<\/b><\/p>\n
Churchill, the grand master of the rejoinder, made a habit of hoisting people by their own petards. He did it with his legendary response to Bernard Shaw, who had invited him to the opening-night performance of one of his plays. Shaw sent two tickets, \u201cone for yourself and one for a friend\u2014if you have one.\u201d Churchill could not attend but asked if he could have tickets for the second-night performance\u2014 \u201cif there is one.\u201d<\/p>\n
Source unknown<\/p>\n
Snobbery<\/b><\/p>\n
An English duke, annoyed by the slow service at his London club, called a waiter over and harrumphed, \u201cDo you know who I am?\u201d<\/p>\n
The waiter replied coolly, \u201cNo, sir, I do not. But I shall make inquiries and inform you directly.\u201d<\/p>\n
Source unknown<\/p>\n
Age Before Beauty<\/b><\/p>\n
In American lore no volley quite compares with the one between Dorothy Parker and Clare Boothe Luce, who approached a doorway at the same time. Luce stepped aside, saying, \u201cAge before beauty.\u201d<\/p>\n
Parker swept through the door riposting, \u201cPearls before swine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Source unknown<\/p>\n
Choice<\/b><\/p>\n
When Lord Sandwich offered the opinion that John Wilkes, an 18th century British journalist and politician would die \u201ceither of the pox or on the gallows,\u201d<\/p>\n
Wilkes shot back, \u201cThat will depend on whether I embrace your lordship\u2019s mistress or your lordship\u2019s principles.\u201d<\/p>\n
Source unknown<\/p>\n
Encounter<\/b><\/p>\n
Noel Coward once encountered Edna Ferber, who was wearing a tailored suit.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou look almost like a man,\u201d said Coward.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo do you,\u201d said Ferber.<\/p>\n
Source unknown<\/p>\n
Who wrote it For You<\/b><\/p>\n
An envious actress congratulated another actress on a book she had recently written. \u201cI enjoyed it,\u201d she purred, \u201cwho wrote it for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Came the answer: \u201cI\u2019m so glad you liked it. Who read it to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Kick-Back & Relax, April, 1992<\/p>\n
Theater Seats<\/b><\/p>\n
\u2022 From a theater review: \u201cThe big trouble was that the seats faced the stage.\u201d<\/p>\n
Quoted by Joey Adams, Oct., 1991, Reader\u2019s Digest<\/p>\n
Best Side<\/b><\/p>\n
During the filming of Alfred Hitchcock\u2019s Lifeboat, actress Mary Anderson asked the famed director what he thought was her best side. \u201cMy dear,\u201d he replied, \u201cyou\u2019re sitting on it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Donald Spoto, The Dark Side of Genius: The Life of Alfred Hitchcock<\/p>\n
You Love Music?<\/b><\/p>\n
After dinner one evening a rancher\u2019s wife was entertaining their house guest by playing the piano. At one point she turned to the visitor and said, \u201cI understand you love music.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d murmured the guest politely. \u201cBut never you mind. Keep right on playing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Source unknown<\/p>\n
Whistler\u2019s Mother<\/b><\/p>\n
Many have heard of the painting that hangs in the Louvre in Paris commonly known as \u201cWhistler\u2019s mother.\u201d A model failed to show up one day, and the elderly lady patiently sat while her son worked on the canvas. When the painting was shown at the Royal Academy, Whistler simply titled it an \u201cArrangement in Grey and Black.\u201d<\/p>\n
James Whistler was known for his piercing wit and fiery personality. He complained that people didn\u2019t appreciate his paintings and once sued a critic who had accused the artist of \u201cflinging a pot of paint in the public\u2019s face.\u201d He constantly criticized the British, sometimes dressed outlandishly, quarreled frequently and even mistreated his subjects. \u201cYou can\u2019t call that a great work of art,\u201d one man protested after sitting for a portrait. \u201cPerhaps not,\u201d Whistler replied, \u201cBut then you can\u2019t call yourself a great work of nature.\u201d<\/p>\n
Quoted in G. Collins, The Magnificent Mind, p. 95.<\/p>\n
Photography<\/b><\/p>\n
On occasion I do free-lance photography for local newspapers and magazines, and I take great pride in my work. At a party one evening, I was introduced to an extremely pompous gentleman who writes a weekly piece for a publication that had just used one of my pictures.<\/p>\n
After telling me how he liked the \u201crather interesting\u201d composition and tones I had used in my latest work, he said, \u201cYou must have a good camera.\u201d I then mentioned that I had enjoyed his most recent article, and added, \u201cYou must have a good typewriter.\u201d<\/p>\n
Alexander Buiel II, in Reader\u2019s Digest<\/p>\n
Different Professions<\/b><\/p>\n
James Whistler, the Victorian artist, showed scant respect for the hierarchy of any profession. When his poodle fell ill with a throat infection, he sent immediately for the country\u2019s leading ear, nose, and throat specialist, Sir Morell Mackenzie. The great man was not amused when he was shown his patient, but he conducted a thorough examination, wrote out a prescription, and left with his fee.<\/p>\n
The next day Whistler received a message asking him to call on Mackenzie without delay. Fearing some development in the poodle\u2019s condition, Whistler hurried to the doctor\u2019s house. \u201cSo good of you to come, Mr. Whistler,\u201d said Mackenzie as his visitor was shown in. \u201cI wanted to see about having my front door painted.\u201d<\/p>\n
Graeme Garden, The Best Medicine<\/p>\n
Miserable<\/b><\/p>\n
Of Thomas Carlyle, by Samuel Butler; \u201cIt was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs. Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nancy McPhee, Book of Insults, Ancient and Modern<\/p>\n
Long Sermon<\/b><\/p>\n
Churchgoer to pastor, \u201cYour sermon reminded me of the mercies of God. I thought it would endure forever.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dennis Fakes, Points With Punch<\/p>\n
Facial Expressions<\/b><\/p>\n
Charles H. Spurgeon was emphasizing to his class the importance of making the facial expression harmonize with the speech. \u201cWhen you speak of Heaven,\u201d he said, \u201clet your face light up, let it be irradiated with a heavenly gleam, let your eyes shine with reflected glory. But when you speak of Hell\u2014well, then your ordinary face will do.\u201d<\/p>\n
Source unknown<\/p>\n
Best Disc Jockey<\/b><\/p>\n
Willard Scott of \u201cThe Today Show\u201d remembers his radio days when he received his all-time favorite letter from a fan: \u201cDear Mr. Scott\u2014I think you\u2019re the best disc jockey in Washington. You play the best music and have the nicest voice of anyone on the air. Please excuse the crayon\u2014they won\u2019t let us have anything sharp in here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Willard Scott\u2019s Down Home Stories<\/p>\n
Quotes<\/b><\/p>\n
1. God created Adam master and Lord of all living creatures, but Eve spoiled it all. – Martin Luther<\/p>\n
2. I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man. – Benjamin Disraeli<\/p>\n
3. 20,000,000 young women rose to their feet with the cry, \u201cWe will not be dictated to\u201d and promptly became stenographers. – G. K. Chesterton<\/p>\n
4. Lady Astor: \u201cWinston, if you were my husband I should flavor your coffee with poison.\u201d Churchill: \u201cMadam, if I were your husband, I should drink it.\u201d<\/p>\n
5. Bessie Braddock, M.P.: \u201cWinston, you\u2019re drunk.\u201d Churchill: \u201cBessie, you\u2019re ugly, and tomorrow morning I\u2019ll be sober.\u201d<\/p>\n
6. Earl Warren (Supreme Court Justice): \u201cI\u2019m pleased to see such a dense crown here tonight.\u201d Heckler: \u201cDon\u2019t be too pleased, Governor; we ain\u2019t all dense.\u201d<\/p>\n
7. Congressman John Randolf and Henry Clay met on a sidewalk in Washington. Clay: \u201cI, sir, do not step aside for a scoundrel.\u201d Randolf: \u201cOn the other hand, I always do.\u201d<\/p>\n
8. Lincoln of Steven Douglas: \u201cHis argument is as thin as the homeopathic soup made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that had been starved to death.\u201d<\/p>\n
9. I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn\u2019t trust an Englishman in the dark. – Duncan Spaeth<\/p>\n
10. Of course America had been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up. – Oscar Wilde<\/p>\n
11. They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. – Rep. Thomas Reed, Speaker of the House, of two fellow congressmen<\/p>\n
12. If you can\u2019t say something good about somebody, sit right here beside me. – Alice Roosevelt Longworth, on a pillow in her sitting room.<\/p>\n
13. Your manuscript is both original and good. But the parts that are original are not good, and the parts that are good are not original. – Samuel Johnson<\/p>\n
Sources unknown<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Quarreled One New Year\u2019s Eve at London\u2019s Garrick Club, British dramatist Frederick Lonsdale was asked by Symour Hicks to reconcile with a fellow member. The two had quarreled in the past and never restored their friendship. \u201cYou must,\u201d Hicks said to Lonsdale. \u201cIt is very unkind to be unfriendly at such a time. Go over … Continue reading “Insults”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-868","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/868","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=868"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/868\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=868"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=868"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=868"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}