Marriage in Heaven<\/b><\/p>\n
A young couple was called to heaven before they could be married. The disappointed groom took St. Peter aside and asked him if it was still possible for them to be married. <\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m afraid you\u2019ll have to wait,\u201d St. Peter replied. \u201cCheck back after five years, and if you still want to be married we will talk about it.\u201d Five years passed and the couple came back, repeating their request.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry, you must wait another five years,\u201d St. Peter told them. Fortunately after the wait St. Peter said they could be married. The wedding was beautiful and at first the couple was happy, but then they realized they had made a mistake. They went to see St. Peter, this time to ask for a divorce.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d St. Peter asked. \u201cIt took us ten years to find a minister in heaven, and now you want a lawyer?\u201d<\/p>\n
Quoted by Linda Vaughan in San Antonio Express-News, in Reader\u2019s Digest, p. 71<\/p>\n
Lawyers<\/b><\/p>\n
Lloyd Lewis, a biographer of Gen. Ulysses S. Grant, weaves a tale of a chill, wintry evening when the general came quietly into a tavern in Galena, Ill. A group of lawyers was sitting in a tight circle around the stove, discussing an important case. One of them noticed Grant and commented, \u201cWhy, here\u2019s a stranger, gentlemen, and it looks as though he\u2019s traveled through hell itself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have, \u201c Grant agreed. The lawyer chuckled and asked, \u201cHow did you find things down there?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMuch the same as here\u201d admitted Grant. \u201cLawyers all nearest the fire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Reader\u2019s Digest, May, 1980<\/p>\n
Dying Man<\/b><\/p>\n
An old miser called his doctor, lawyer and minister to his deathbed. \u201cThey say you can\u2019t take it with you,\u201d the dying man said. \u201cBut I\u2019m going to try. I\u2019ve got three envelopes with $30,000 cash in each one. I want each of you to take an envelope, and just when they lower my casket, you throw in the envelopes.\u201d<\/p>\n
At the funeral each man tossed in his envelope. On the way home, the minister confessed, \u201cI needed the money for the church, so I took out $10,000 and threw only $20,000 into the grave.\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor said, \u201cI, too, must confess. I\u2019m building a clinic. I took $20,000 and threw in only $10,000.\u201d <\/p>\n
The lawyer said, \u201cGentlemen, I\u2019m ashamed of you. I threw in a check for the full amount.\u201d<\/p>\n
Source unknown<\/p>\n
Typing Error<\/b><\/p>\n
From the Tulsa, Okla., Gusher: \u201cThere was a typo in lawyer Ed Morrison\u2019s ad. His logo is: \u2018Your case is no stronger than your attorney,\u2019 not \u2018stranger.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n
Reader\u2019s Digest<\/p>\n
Too Many Lawyers<\/b><\/p>\n
A Russian, a Cuban, an American businessman and an American lawyer were on a train traveling across Europe. The Russian took out a large bottle of vodka, poured each of his companions a drink and then hurled the semi-full bottle out the window. \u201cWhy did you do that?\u201d asked the American businessman. \u201cVodka is plentiful in my country,\u201d said the Russian. \u201cIn fact, we have more than we will ever use.\u201d <\/p>\n
A little later, the Cuban passed around fine Havana cigars. He took a couple of puffs of his and then tossed it out the window. \u201cI thought the Cuban economy was suffering,\u201d the businessman said. \u201cYet you threw that perfectly good cigar away.\u201d \u201cCigars,\u201d the Cuban replied, \u201care a dime a dozen in Cuba. We have more of them than we know what to do with.\u201d <\/p>\n
The American businessman sat in silence for a moment. Then he got up, grabbed the lawyer and threw him out the window. <\/p>\n
Quoted by James Dent in Charleston, W.VA., Gazette<\/p>\n
Nobody Thinks <\/b><\/p>\n
A man and his lawyer squared off in court against his opponent and two lawyers. \u201cI want you to hire another attorney to help with my case,\u201d he told his sole counselor. \u201cThe other fellow has two.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not necessary,\u201d replied his attorney. \u201cI can defend you by myself.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cI still want a second person,\u201d the defendant insisted. \u201cWhen one of the plaintiff\u2019s lawyers is talking, the other one is thinking. When you talk, nobody\u2019s thinking.\u201d <\/p>\n
Source unknown<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Marriage in Heaven A young couple was called to heaven before they could be married. The disappointed groom took St. Peter aside and asked him if it was still possible for them to be married. \u201cI\u2019m afraid you\u2019ll have to wait,\u201d St. Peter replied. \u201cCheck back after five years, and if you still want to … Continue reading “Lawyer”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-940","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/940","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=940"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/940\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=940"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=940"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.biblia.work\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=940"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}