Por Mark Dance

Cuando respondí al llamado de Dios al ministerio vocacional a los 16 años de edad, no recuerdo considerar ninguna parte de la descripción bíblica de mi trabajo. No pensé en cómo mi matrimonio afectaría mi ministerio o viceversa.

En algunos aspectos, me alegro de no haberme dado cuenta de todos los desafíos que inevitablemente traería el matrimonio.

Es difícil hacer crecer un matrimonio en circunstancias normales, pero para las parejas del ministerio, lo que está en juego es aún mayor. El matrimonio de un pastor tiene una capa adicional de expectativas para administrar bien tanto el ministerio vocacional como el matrimonio (1 Timoteo 3; Tito 1).

Entonces, con estas altas apuestas en mente, ¿qué debemos hacer cuando nuestro matrimonio está ¿Tienes problemas?

1. Arréglate a ti mismo primero.

Si eres esposo y pastor, estás llamado a liderar dos familias. La palabra griega para «administrar» es proistēmi (pararse delante o liderar). Es la misma palabra que se usa para describir el don de liderazgo en Romanos 12.

Si nuestro matrimonio está decayendo o incluso muriendo, debemos asumir la responsabilidad personal por el problema ya que somos los líderes principales (Efesios 5).

El La Biblia no nos enseña a los pastores a equilibrar nuestras vidas, nos dice que administremos nuestras vidas. Por ejemplo, si estás descuidando a tu esposa porque lo diste todo en la oficina, has administrado mal tanto tu ministerio como tu matrimonio al administrar mal tu propia vida.

“Presta mucha atención a tu vida y a tu enseñando; persevera en estas cosas, porque haciéndolas te salvarás a ti mismo y a los que te oyen” (1 Timoteo‭4:16).

2. Broaden the conversation.

Since you’re a co-dependent member of the body of Christ, why would you hesitate to let others help your marriage get and stay healthy?

If your marriage is struggling, prayerfully consider walking through this difficult stretch with another couple or a counselor. It might surprise you to know how many ministry couples have benefitted from clinical counseling.

3. Fight for your family.

It saddens me to say I’ve yet to have an immediate predecessor or successor finish well. Four out of seven of these ugly exits were marriage meltdowns.

Janet and I write and talk about marriage so much people probably assume we live in a constant honeymoon state. We speak at about 20 events a year together, and some of our worst arguments have been on the way to those events!

I’m not talking about toothpaste and toilet paper arguments either. We do have a very healthy marriage, but as Janet recently told our married daughter, “We fought our way here.”

4. Truth.

Pastor, don’t ignore or evade the problems in your marriage. Once your season of struggling is over, you may be tempted to forgive and forget.

Instead of forgetting your mistakes—learn from them. Love covers a multitude of sins; it doesn’t ignore them. Fight for your marriage, even if it means tackling the tougher issues.

5. Get equipped.

Recently, Janet and I created videos for a new tool for churches called Woo Marriage (coming in May). This digital tool will help you prepare couples for marriage, strengthen marriages, and restore relationships in your church.

You’ll find many helpful coaching videos from various couples, but the ones Janet and I worked on are specifically for ministry couples.

This tool will not only help you win at marriage ministry, but will bring your couples closer to each other and Christ.

Download their free guide on their homepage and be on the lookout for more updates.

6. Cover with grace.

Two strong words jump out at me in a pastor’s job description: they must be competent (1 Timothy 3:4) and blameless (Titus 1:6).

Neither implies perfection because perfect husbands and fathers don’t exist. Otherwise, there would be no leadership in any of our churches!

We must pastor our homes with the same gospel-drenched grace that we draw on to pastor our churches.