13 CONTRACTS MUTUALLY AGREED UPON BETWEEN
PARENT AND CHILD PRESCRIBE CONSEQUENCES IN ADVANCE.

“You’re grounded for the next month,” the irate parent screamed. Yes, the child had serious transgressed one of the rules. However, the parent has now created a bigger problem. Out of angry emotion, the parent has levied an excessive, punishing consequence. In reality, the grounding may only be for a few days, but the parent has appeared arbitrary and impulsive.

Contracts are proactive agreements made between parent and child. They state the expected behavior and also the consequence for violating the contract. Contracts may also state specific rewards for obedience. “When you come in on time, you have the privilege of ____________________. But when you come in late without getting permission, then you will suffer the consequence of ____________________.”

A contract is simply an agreement reached between a parent and a child. Another word for “contract” is “promise.” The child promises to obey while the parent promises to hold the child accountable.

The contract clearly states the consequences for disobedience. This enables a parent to discipline and correct a child out of relationship rather than rashness.

Contracts allow a parent to put the responsibility on the child for both making right decisions and also for knowing the consequences in advance for disobedience.

Contracts allow parents to teach responsibility in advance. They also keep parents from overreacting in the heat of anger or disappointment. Contracting in advance avoids severe relationship conflicts if a problem arises.

My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother (Prov. 1:8).