14 REPENTANCE MUST PRECEDE PENANCE OR
CHANGE WILL NEVER HAPPEN IN YOUR CHILD’S BEHAVIOR OR CHARACTER.

“I have to tell Angela the same thing over and over again,” complained her mom.

A child simply doing the right thing isn’t enough to effect lasting change. Only repentance brings true change in a child’s life.

To repent means to change direction. Change is integral to repentance. Doing penance simply repeats an acceptable behavior. Penance is not guarantee of true change.

Billy said, “I may be sitting in the corner, but I’m standing up inside.” The outward behavior conformed to his father’s expectation, but his heart and mind weren’t changed. The very same behavior that sent him to the corner the first time will continually send him there. Why? Because nothing has changed inside of Billy.

Repentance not only means that Billy is sorry for his misbehavior; it also means that Billy has changed on the inside. Whatever was motivating his oppositional behavior has changed. He now is willing to comply with the set boundaries.

What brings repentance? Not one, but many factors contribute to change in a child’s behavior and character. First there is the confession of wrong and the acceptance of forgiveness. Then there is a decision not to do the wrong thing again. Finally, there’s an ongoing inner desire within Billy to do the right and forget the wrong.

This whole process of change begins with an honest admission, “I am wrong.” The admission isn’t forced or coerced by the parent. It is a willing confession by the child that he is wrong and is willing to change both on the inside and the outside. Repentance leads to change and growth in a child’s life.

Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing. For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death (2 Cor. 7:9–10). Action Steps I/We Need to Take