15 GIVE LOVE; EARN TRUST

The hurting, betrayed wife moaned, “I don’t think I can ever trust him again.” I realized then that love is a gift but trust must be earned.

Believing the best about my spouse is a matter of trust, not love. No matter what he has said, I trust that person based on what he did. If he promised to be home at a certain time and failed to appear, then my trust erodes. If he promised to complete a task and the job was forgotten, then my trust becomes tentative the next time a promise is made.

But I want to trust. I desire to believe the best about my mate. I want to feel that, no matter what, their intentions are good and virtuous.

So what will I do? I will decide to trust again. Yes, renewed trust can be disappointed. But consider for a moment the alternative. If I question every motive, if I mistrust every promise, then I can never experience intimacy with my spouse.

Every act of trust risks hurt. But trusting love can overcome the fear of being hurt. Decide to believe the best. How? Begin with forgiveness. Ask for truthfulness. Proceed with faith. And decide that you can believe the best about another imperfect person who is much like yourself.

Try this: Ask for forgiveness even if you feel right and think that your spouse is wrong. Try saying this, “Will you forgive me for_______?”

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.

1 John 4:18