19 FEELINGS ARISE, TEMPERAMENT MAY BE
INBORN, BUT RESPONSES TO FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS DEVELOP ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIORS
THAT ARE RIGHT OR WRONG.
Dobson wrote about the “strong-willed” and the “compliant” child. That speaks of a child’s temperament. Which can be observed as early as infancy.
Some children quietly observe the stimuli around them. Others aggressively explore the same stimuli. And the feelings that they express are often triggered by their temperaments.
An active, curious child frustrated in exploring his surroundings may become angry and cry. That’s to be expected. But a child who continually becomes angry whenever frustrated develops attitudes and behavior that are wrong and need to be corrected.
William Carey, M.D., in Understanding Your Child’s Temperament, identifies nine temperament traits that a parent can observe as either positive or negative: activity, regularity, initial reaction, adaptability, intensity, mood, persistence and attention span, distractibility, and sensitivity.
As a child responds to your discipline, you will discover what’s effective or ineffective in communicating right or wrong to a child. Simply saying “no” and explaining “why” works for some temperaments. Removing objects works for others, while a spanking may be needed for some in order to learn what can be touched and what cannot be touched and “why” or “why not.” Every child responds differently. We are like snowflakes, not clones.
An emerging negative attitude or behavior needs correction early or a child will assume that the attitude or behavior is right. A parent is always observing, teaching, correcting, and interacting with a child. Knowing and deciding what’s right and wrong must be taught by a godly parent otherwise; the child will learn from the world around them. That kind of experiential knowledge can lead to destructive consequences if a parent fails to teach and train a child in knowing right from wrong.
And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up (Deut. 6:6–7). Action Steps I/We Need to Take