37 TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO DISCERN BETWEEN
NEEDS AND WANTS BY MEETING THEIR NEEDS, NOT THEIR WANTS.

“Mommy, can I get this?” the young child pleads, holding a toy pulled off the store’s shelf.

“No, you can’t have it. Put it down,” scolds the mother.

Immediately a big struggle erupts in the middle of the store, as the child throws a temper tantrum. His behavior dares the mother to discipline him in public. Trying to quiet the child, the mother gives in to the child’s wants.

This typical scene gets replayed millions of times each day between parents and children. When a parent sets boundaries for a young child, the parent needs to be proactive. That means that the parent and child understand what lies within the child’s boundaries of needs. Children can learn to express needs like:

•     “I’m hungry. When can we eat?”

•     “I’m thirsty. May I have a drink?”

•     “I’m cold. I need a coat.”

•     “I’m tired. I need to rest.”

•     “I’m bored. I need to be involved.”

Parents can respond to such needs by meeting them or explaining what will be done to meet the need. Within a child’s boundaries are acceptable actions and attitudes that bring blessings. The parent doesn’t fill a child’s boundaries with don’ts. Rather, the majority of teaching and training needs to focus on dos. For example, you need to rest when you are tired. You need to eat food that’s good for your body. You need to get involved in a fun, creative activity when you are bored.

Avoid focusing on instructions like: Don’t get out of bed. Don’t eat candy. Don’t move when I tell you to sit still. Look for ways to meet a child’s needs instead of gratifying his wants just to keep him “out of your hair.”

A life filled with don’ts for a child becomes very frustrating. Focus on what a child can do and have in meeting their needs instead of what they can’t do and have to get what they want. Wants are based on immediate urges that aren’t necessary for a child’s physical health and safety or his emotional or spiritual well being.

Like our heavenly Father, we meet the real needs not the momentary whims or wants of a child.

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:19). Action Steps I/We Need to Take