43 LISTEN BEFORE YOU SPEAK

Paul counseled Timothy to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. That’s great counsel for marriages.

First hear all that your spouse is saying. Paraphrase back to your mate what you heard to be certain you understood what was said. Share the feelings that you are perceiving from what he has shared.

Next you may describe the behavior you observe in what he is doing as he communicates. Often your spouse is unaware of negative body language when he is communicating.

Then disclose how you are feeling. Don’t blame your mate for your feelings. Simply share honestly.

Finally speak from your heart and be calm. Refuse to let anger take control of your actions or words. Even when you feel angry, speak the truth out of love instead of anger.

Remember that a hasty response will bring forth words that you may later regret.

Try this: The next time your spouse is communicating to you in a very angry way, respond in love; don’t react in anger.

Everyone should be quick to listen,
slow to speak and slow to become angry.

James 1:19