Tact
Be Tactful
Joe had a cat he loved very much. When he went west to California on a business trip he left the cat with his brother Al and his mother. When Joe arrived in Los Angeles he called his brother and asked him how the cat was doing. Al replied bluntly, “I’m real sorry, Joe, but your cat is dead.”
Brokenhearted, Joe said, “How could you be so cruel? You know how I loved that cat. You could have said, ‘Your cat is up on the roof and we can’t get her down!’ Then the next time I called you could have told me, ‘Your cat is off the roof but it has broken a small bone in its leg and is in the hospital.’“
“Then a few days later, when I was better prepared, you could have called and said, ‘Your cat has passed away in her sleep. She felt no pain.’“
“You’re right,” replied Al meekly. “I’m real sorry about how it was handled. Please forgive me.”
A couple of weeks later Joe once again called his brother from California. After chatting for awhile he asked, “Say, Al, how’s Mother?”
“Oh, Mother?” responded Al, “O.K., I guess, but she’s up on the roof and we can’t get her down…”
Source unknown
How to be Tactful
Perhaps you heard about the husband who lacked tact. Early one morning his wife left for a trip abroad…and that very day their poodle died. When she called home that evening, she asked how everything was—and he bluntly blurted out, “Well, the dog died!” Shocked, she chided him through tears for being so tactless, so strong.
“What should I have said?” he asked.
“You should’ve broken the news gently, perhaps in stages. When I called you from here in New York, you could have said, ‘The dog is on the roof.’ And the next day when I called you from London, ‘He fell off the roof.’ The following day from Paris, you could have told me, ‘He is at the vet’s…in the hospital.’ And finally, from Rome, I could have then been informed, ‘He died.’”
The husband paused and thought about the advice. His wife then asked, “By the way, how is mother?”
He responded, “She’s on the roof!”
Charles R. Swindoll, Standing Out, (Multnomah Press, Portland, OR; 1983), p. 79
It’s How You Say It
In the Middle East they tell the following story to illustrate the essence of tact:
A sultan called in one of his seers and asked how long he would live.
“Sire,” said the seer, “you will live to see all of your sons dead.” The sultan flew into a rage and handed the prophet over to his guards for execution. Then he called for a second seer and asked the same question.
“Sire,” said the prophet, “I see you blessed with long life, so long that you will outlive all your family.” The sultan was delighted and rewarded the seer with gold and silver trinkets.
Both prophets knew the truth, but one had tact, the other did not.
Bits & Pieces, March 30, 1995, pp. 1-2
A Toast
Admiral Heihachio Togo, whose brilliant tactics had destroyed the Russian fleet at the battle of the Sea of Japan in 1905, visited the United States shortly after the Russo-Japanese War. At a state dinner in Admiral Togo’s honor, William Jennings Bryan was asked to propose a toast. Because Bryan was well known as a strict teetotaler, it was feared that an embarrassing breakdown of protocol was about to occur. But as Bryan stood to propose his toast, he held up his glass and said, “Admiral Togo has won a great victory on water, and I will therefore toast him in water. When Admiral Togo wins a victory on champagne I will toast him in champagne.”
Today in the Word, September 17, 1992
John Wesley Said the Hand Is Very Beautiful
John Wesley and a preacher-friend of plain habits were once invited to dinner where the host’s daughter, noted for her beauty, had been profoundly impressed by Wesley’s preaching. During a pause in the meal, Wesley’s friend took the young woman’s hand and called attention to the sparkling rings she wore. “What do you think of this, sir, for a Methodist hand?” the girl turned crimson. Wesley likewise was embarrassed, for his aversion to jewelry was only too well known. But with a benevolent smile, he simply said, “The hand is very beautiful.”
Wesley’s remark both cooled the too-hot water poured by his friend, and made the foot-washing gentle. The young woman appeared at the evening service without her jewels, and became a strong Christian.
Source unknown
He Just Learned to Say Manure
There is a story that when Harry Truman was speaking at a Grange convention in Kansas City, Mrs. Truman and a friend were in the audience. Truman in his speech said, “I grew up on a farm and one thing I know—farming means manure, manure, manure, and more manure.”
At this, Mrs. Truman’s friend whispered to her, “Bess, why on earth don’t you get Harry to say fertilizer?”
“Good Lord, Helen,” replied Mrs. Truman, “You have no idea how many years it has taken me to get him to say manure.”
Bits and Pieces, April, 1991
Quote
• Putting it nicely, but not quite precisely. – Norma Becket
Consider the Other Persons Feelsings
When pointing out a mistake by another person, always consider the person’s feelings. Milton Berle was dining with his wife, Ruth, in a Hollywood restaurant, when a waiter put too much pepper on her salad. Mrs. Berle tasted it and said, “Hmm. Needs more salad.”
Source unknown
James Madison
In his old age, President James Madison suffered from many ailments and took a variety of medicines. It is said that a longtime friend from a nearby county sent him a box of vegetable pills, one of his own home remedies, asking to be informed if they brought relief. In time he received one of those gracious and carefully worded letters for which Madison was noted. It went something like this: “My dear friend, I thank you very much for the box of pills. I have taken them all; and while I cannot say I am better since taking them, it is quite possible that I might have been worse if I had not taken them.”
Source unknown