37 SAY, “HOW MAY I SERVE YOU?”

Mutual submission in marriage is often more difficult for men than women. Raised in a male-dominated culture, men often expect women to serve them. But Ephesians 5 describes something quite different.

Remember that there are no subhead, punctuation, chapter or verse divisions in the original biblical manuscripts. So the traditional subheading between Ephesians 5:21 and Ephesians 5:24 defining the next section as “Christian Marriage” has been inserted there by editors, not by Paul.

When we are filled by the Spirit (5:18), we will find ourselves worshipping the Lord and serving one another (5:21). The best example in life of such spiritual service is a marriage in which both husband and wife serve one another in love.

In fact, the service that the husband renders is sacrificial. He is called to lay down his life for his wife as Christ lays down His life for His bride, the church. So the overriding attitude of marriage is “submitting to one another in the fear of God.”

If both husband and wife are servants, then one will not lord over the other, making unrealistic demands or expecting unattainable tasks. With both husband and wife serving one another, love replaces expectations and demands give way to service.

Try this: Get up in the morning asking your mate, “How may I serve you?” Go out of your way to meet your spouse’s needs. Develop a servant heart for your spouse.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Eph. 5:21 NIV