44 REFUSE TO DUMP ON YOUR SPOUSE

What’s dumping? Dumping takes all your trashy negative feelings and uses your spouse as a garbage can. Dumping may help you feel better, but it transfers your negative feelings and attitudes to someone else.

I remember a time when I would come home and tell my wife all my negative feelings about a certain person. When I finished dumping, I felt better but she would then feel negative toward that person. A.W. Tozer suggested an important spiritual vow, “Never pass anything on about anyone that would hurt them.”

That vow includes your spouse. Instead of dumping, try debriefing. Debriefing requires both mates to agree on how and what they will share with each other.

Debriefing …

Takes responsibility for your own feelings. Instead of blaming others for how you feel, you share what you feel and how you can heal from your hurts and overcome negativity and offense.

Agrees that you will cast your cares on the Lord. Instead of being burdened by your problems, you turn to God with them.

Prays in order to receive God’s perspective. Wisdom comes from God. Wisdom is how God sees the problem. Prayer helps you see the situation from God’s perspective.

Acts in faith trusting God to change you and release His potential and healing in you.

Try this: Debrief one another the next time one of you brings home a hurt.

When others are happy, be happy with them.
If they are sad, share their sorrow.

Rom. 12:15 TLB