45 UNDERSTAND BEFORE YOU TRY TO FIX IT

Mates often assume they know what’s wrong before they really understand what’s happening inside the other person. Remember that the presenting problem is rarely the real problem.

Assume nothing. Ask your spouse to explain before you leap into a rescue or a fix of the situation.

Remember that you are called to be your spouse’s mate, not his savior or rescuer. Too often husbands, in particular, want to fix their wives’ feelings, hurts and concerns. All the wife may really need is someone to listen with empathy.

Understanding comes through listening and asking your spouse to explain. Avoid rushing to a solution until both of your understand each other.

Understanding rarely occurs if you leap into the problem, trying to fix it before you read the instructions. What are the instructions?

Try this: Ask your spouse what he needs instead of assuming you know. Take time to explain what’s happening inside of each other.

Share each other’s troubles and problems, and so obey our Lord’s command. If anyone thinks he is too great to stoop to this, he is fooling himself. He is really a nobody.

Gal. 6:2–3 TLB