56 GET OVER IT

A close friend just gave me a mug with “Get Over It” inscribed on the side. My wife gave me a sign for my counseling office years ago that read, “Get over it.” So what is the it?

The it we must get over in marriage is anger. Release anger. Unresolved anger destroys marriage.

We don’t release anger by blasting or hurting our mates. We don’t get over anger by dumping on our mates. Try this:

We release anger by …

Taking responsibility for our own feelings.

Sharing honestly in love.

Allowing God to replace anger with forgiveness.

Believing the best instead of the worst about our mates.

Deciding that I can change even if my spouse doesn’t.

Setting appropriate boundaries so that what caused the anger doesn’t happen again.

Becoming calm instead of agitated.

Acting assertively not aggressively.

Admitting I was wrong in whatever part of the problem I created.

Knowing that my spouse is not the enemy.

Valuing the relationship more than being right.

Recognizing that my perceptions may not be reality.

Wanting both of us to win instead of me winning as my spouse loses.

Understanding that the battle is not against flesh and blood.

The time has come when we must decide as a couple to make “getting over it” our first priority whenever anger seeks to erode our covenant relationship.

Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.

Eph. 4:26–27