69 ASK FOR YOUR NEEDS

No mate is omniscient. Ask for what you need. Some mates protest, “But after all these years of marriage he should know what I need.” Not so.

Asking for our needs can be the most important revelation of the moment in our marriages. At times we individually become so preoccupied with our own needs that we lose sight of what a mate may need. Don’t bury your needs. Pray for those needs to be met. Ask your spouse to meet the realistic needs in your marriage.

Listed below are the top ten needs for marital intimacy identified by The Center for Marriage and Family Intimacy in Austin, Texas. Rank these needs according to your own personal priorities related to what you need in marriage:

__ Acceptance. Wherefore accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God

Rom. 15:7

__ Approval. Because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men

Rom. 14:18

__ Encouragement. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up

1 Thess. 5:11

__ Support/Bear Burdens. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of rist

Gal. 6:2

__ Affection. Love never fails

1 Cor. 13:8

__ Security. May those who love you be secure

Ps. 122:6

__ Respect. Show proper respect to everyone

1 Peter 2:17

__ Attention. But that the members (of the body) should have the same care for one another

1 Cor. 12:25

__ Comfort. The God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble …

2 Cor. 1:3, 4

__ Appreciation. I praise you …

1 Cor. 11:2

Try this: Both you and your spouse rank these needs for yourself and then guess what the top three needs will be for your spouse. Share your lists with one another.