7 ASK YOUR CHILD TO SHARE FEELINGS, NOT
JUST OPINIONS.

Too often I would ask, “What do you think?” Instead, I meant to ask, “What do you feel?”

Feelings speak to the heart while thoughts and opinions rattle around in the head.

Feelings get at our emotional responses, our raw gut-level reactions to people and situations. Feelings may arise out of temperament or conditioning. We can change our feeling responses, but we must first get in touch with them.

Children first feel. Too often we teach them to cover up or hide their true feelings early in life. Then later, in the teen years, we wonder why they won’t share their feelings with us.

Avoid saying, “Don’t cry.” Stop judging or critiquing the early feelings a child has. Teach a child to express feelings by taking ownership and responsibility for their feelings. Help a child identify the feeling. Are you feeling sad, angry, happy, excited, bored, etc.?

When children learn early how to share their feelings, they feel more comfortable later in childhood talking about how they feel not just what they think. Your child will learn how to talk about feelings from the way you share and handle your own feelings.

Feelings are an important part of who we are and how we relate to others. They are meant to be shared, examined, and openly expressed as long as we take responsibility for our own feelings. The next time you say to a child, “You make me so angry,” apologize. Change your statement. “I feel so angry when.…” Teach your child about feelings by responsibly sharing yours. Failure to share feelings can produce hard hearts in our children.

As he thinks in his heart, so is he (Prov. 23:7).