8 DISCIPLINE CORRECTS AND TEACHES;
PUNISHMENT HURTS AND CRUSHES.

“I’m going to beat you until the sun goes down,” the angry parent yelled at the abused child.

Punishment purposes to hurt because of hurt. When a child misbehaves, we discipline. Discipline corrects and teaches. Mr. Spoon is a resident at our home. He is a wooden spoon with a happy face on one side and a sad face on the other. As a neutral object, Mr. Spoon applies the rod of correction to the butt for the purpose of getting a child’s attention and associating wrong with pain.

Never discipline a child when reacting emotionally in anger to his words or behavior. When a parent punishes out of an angry outburst, then the child only learns not to provoke a parent’s anger.

Rebuke. Discipline uses rebuke first. A rebuking look or a word redirects wrong behavior or words into right responses. Rebuke allows a child to make correction before the embarrassment of wrong becomes exposed.

Chasten. Then comes chastening if rebuke doesn’t work. Chastening makes public a private wrong. Chastening brings to light a wrong motive or attitude behind a child’s words or behaviors. Chastening explains the wrong and teaches the right.

Scourge. This “strong” physical word, when applied to the discipline of children, doesn’t imply hurting a child. Physical discipline like spanking, isolation, grounding, removal of privilege, and enforcing previously set consequences becomes necessary when rebuke and chastening fail to turn a child to repentance. While controlled and limited spanking on the butt may work with young children, it fails to be effective after about age six or seven. More reasoning, accompanied by withdrawing privileges, works best. Physical discipline applied simply to hurt a child or crush the spirit is abuse.

My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives (Heb. 12:4–5). Action Steps I/We Need to Take