12 FEARING A PARENT INSTILLS A SPIRIT OF
DECEPTION AND DECEIT; FEARING GOD INSPIRES RESPECT FOR AUTHORITY.

“I know my dad would kill me if he ever found out what I’m doing,” confided the worried teenager.

Fearing a parent rarely instills obedience. In the early years, fear may serve to control a child’s behavior. But as the child gets older, fear doesn’t deter wrong behavior. Fear simply motivates an older child or teenager to hide wrong behavior.

When a child fears a parent, a child does the right thing for the wrong reasons. Lacking a right attitude or obedient heart, a child soon learns to hide unacceptable and wrong behavior from the parent. A child’s works hard not to get caught rather than to please God.

The motivation for making right decisions is a desire to obey and please God, not simply to please a parent. Lacking the right motivation, a child who fears a parent simply avoids attracting the parent’s attention. The child, fearing “getting caught,” learns to look good in front of a parent and the parent’s friends so that they will not suspect wrongdoing.

Fearing parents instead of fearing God produces children that become deceitful and hypocritical. They play the “respect” game in front of their parents while doing whatever they like behind the parents’ backs.

Fearing God teaches a child to respect both God’s character and His commands. Respecting, reverencing, and desiring to please God motivate a child to be righteous. The child knows that God not only knows everything he does, but also knows every inner thought and motive.

Fearing God teaches a child that God wants the best for us and isn’t trying to deprive us of what we need. A child learns that fearing God produces the wisdom, knowledge and understanding to make the right decisions in life. Right decisions produce in children the ability to prosper materially, relationally, and spiritually.

A parent teaches fearing God by setting an example of holiness for a child. This example includes:

•     Saying and doing only what the Father says and does.

•     Loving and serving God heart, mind, soul, and strength.

•     Worshipping God with the child.

•     Praying with the child.

•     Never idly or vainly using God’s name.

•     Teaching a child God’s Word.

•     Living a morally pure life.

•     Being consistent in discipline, keeping promises, and obeying God’s truth.

In other words, a child learns to fear God by watching us as parents. Judi and I have learned that children discover how to fear God by watching our lives.

The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, to turn one away from the snares of death (Prov. 14:27). Action Steps I/We Need to Take