24 COUNSELING TEENAGERS ISN’T
ADVICE-GIVING; IT’S ASKING RIGHT QUESTIONS FOLLOWED BY MUCH LISTENING.

“Dad is always preaching at me,” complained the son.

Sermonettes rarely communicate lasting truths. Children are much more inclined to listen after they have been listened to. Are you willing to ask the right questions and then listen to your child’s answers? And remember that a child’s initial response, decision, or problem may not be the real feeling, thought, attitude, or problem.

Take time to ask these questions two or three times. Listen to your child’s response. Don’t interrupt. Paraphrase back what your child is saying. Reflect back his feelings to be certain you understand. After listening, then give godly wisdom filled with positive responses, options, and possibilities. An impossibility-thinker has few options, none of which will work. A possibility-thinker has a long list of wise choices, some of which will work.

Ask your child:

     What do you want for you?

          What are you feeling?

               What are you doing about it?

After going through these questions a few times, asking your child for a different set of answers each time, then ask, “What will you do?” Help your child explore positive possibilities with these questions:

     What does God want for you?

          What is God feeling about you?

               What does God want you to do?

Make a first step. Ask, Will you do what God wants? When will you? How will you? Why will you do what God wants?

Get ready. This will take time, but the seed that you sow in listening and counseling a child will bear a harvest of righteousness, joy, and peace.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Rom. 15:13). Action Steps I/We Need to Take