HAIR, LONG
For men shall be … heady …
—II Tim 3:2–4
2120 Hairy Records
The longest recorded hair belongs to a monk in a monastery in India. His hair in 1949 was 26 feet long. The longest beard belongs to a man in Norway, measuring 17½ feet long. The beard was presented to the Smithsonian Institution. The longest beard of a bearded lady is measured at 14 inches from Janice Deveree of Kentucky.
The longest recorded moustache belongs to a Brahmin in India. It grew to a span of 102 inches between 1949 and 1962, costing $30 for upkeep annually.
2121 Technical Trespass On Mustache
Mastro Stefano, a seventy-year-old mill worker, was excessively proud of his mustache, a huge pair of handlebars. He went into a barber shop, was snoozing in the chair, and the barber cut off the famous mustache. Mastro Stefano sued the barber for two thousand dollars damages. He told the court that it was a beautiful mustache, and that it had taken him forty-seven years to grow and train it.
The barber said: “It looked like walrus whiskers. I thought I was doing the community a favor.”
The court awarded Mastro Stefano twenty-five dollars damages on the ground that he had been the victim of “technical trespass on the face.”
2122 Barber At Mexican Border
We were reloading our car in the parking lot of the immigration service in Laredo, Texas, when a long-haired young man holding a pair of scissors approached. “Can anybody cut hair?” he asked. “I can’t get a Mexican tourist visa until I get a haircut.”
A gray-haired woman in the car next to ours volunteered, but only after she had taken full account of his striped flared jeans, bare chest and peace beads. As she snipped and clipped with obvious pleasure, the fellow bemoaned the locks falling around his bare feet. A small circle of amused tourists gathered to watch the impromptu barbershop. When someone remarked that a haircut was worth $2, he groaned even louder.
As she finished cutting, the woman said, “Haircuts are only $1.75 in my hometown, but this one is worth $2—to me.” And she handed the surprised young man two one-dollar bills, climbed back into her car and drove off.
—Selected
2123 Long Hair Is Shocking
Bonn, West Germany (WNS)—Soldiers, sailors and airmen in the armed forces were allowed to grow their hair longer and longer until officers issued them hairnets to keep the locks under control while on duty.
Now the static electricity in the nylon hairnets is upsetting the radar systems. A commission appointed to study the situation is looking for hairnets without hidden shocks.
2124 Doggone Passport
French student Jean Louviot traveled for several months through Europe with a false photograph on his passport. He was never stopped, even though the photograph was of his cocker spaniel. Said a red-faced border official: “It’s the way kids wear their hair these days.”
—Die Weltwoche, Switzerland.
2125 Arrested For Napping At Home
At Seattle, Washington, Mrs. D. D. Ringer made a big mistake—or was it Mr. Ringer who made a mistake? Upon returning home from a bridge party, Mrs. Ringer walked into the bedroom and saw a man asleep on the bed. She ran out of the house and called the police, saying that a strange man was sleeping in the house and that he must be a burglar. The police arrived and laid violent hands on the man sleeping on the bed. The man jumped up roaring with indignation:
“What’s the idea? Can’t a man take a nap in his own home?”
Then Mrs. Ringer recognized him. He was Mr. Ringer, who had just been to a barber shop and had his mustache shaved off. Its absence had left Mr. Ringer unrecognizable even to his own wife.
2126 Let Men Be Men!
From Brussels, Belgium, comes an item concerning Otto Brugghe and his wife Martine. When Otto was sleeping one night, his wife cut off his long, curly locks. For that, Otto left her after two years of marriage. Explaining her action, Martine said: “He was trying to look prettier than me. What a wife wants is a man, not a mannequin.”
While she may know nothing about Biblical principles, Martine has given expression to what is surely a correct emphasis. Let men be men!
—Prairie Overcomer
2127 His One-Sided Whiskers
Although in his later years he was somewhat of a dandy, Chopin was very negligent in his dress when he first arrived in Paris. Speaking of a musical soiree that took place early in 1831, he said:
“When they saw me at Mme. Schasceck’s, their astonishment knew no bounds at my looking such an improper fellow. I have let my whiskers grow only on my right cheek. They grow very well there and there is really no reason to leave them on my left since I always sit with my right toward the audience.”
2128 Beauty Contest For Bald Men
Meanwhile, from Tokyo comes this report:
Hikosaburo Kawamoto, 69, Sunday, won a beauty contest for bald men, by being declared the most handsome bald head in Japan. He defeated 15 other hairless finalists in a contest sponsored by the Tokyo Bald-Headed Men’s Association.
Contestants were judged partly by the luster on their scalps, and the ability of their bald heads to reflect light.
Kawamoto said he trained for the contest by wearing a hat when he was outside to keep his head from getting tanned. He shaves his temples, where he still has a little hair, each morning with an electric razor.
2129 Eagle Mistook Bald For Stone
Aeschylus was the most sublime of the Greek tragic poets. He wrote 90 plays, only 7 of which are now extant. Aeschylus was killed by a tortoise thrown from the air by an eagle (to break its shell) against his bald head. The eagle had mistook his head for a stone.
2130 Epigram On Hair (Long)
• “A bald head is no disgrace if the baldness is confined to the outside.”
• The minister was confused at the wedding because of the groom’s long hair, so he just smiled at the bride and groom and said, “Will one of you please kiss the bride.”—Thomas LaMance
• Two long-haired teenage sons gave their father a surprise birthday gift—a box filled with their sheared locks, and a card that read: “Dear Dad, Forgive us our past tresses.”
—Detroit Free Press
• Want ad in a West Virginia newspaper “Hippies & Long Hairs need proof? Rt. 60 Barber Shop issuing certificates stating you have been to the barber shop. $1.50 statement may be renewed for $1.50 every 30 days.”
See also: Individualism ; Rebellious.