LOVING
AWAY RAGE

Topics: Anger; Bitterness; Enemies; Family; Fathers; Forgiveness; Grudges; Hatred; Love; Malice; Murder; Resentment; Revenge; Self-control; Violence

References: Exodus 20:13; Romans 12:19; Ephesians 4:31; Colossians 3:13; Hebrews 10:30; 12:15; 1 John 2:9; 3:15

Rick Garmon’s daughter, Katie, was date-raped in 2002 when she was age eighteen and a freshman in college. Too humiliated to speak about what had happened to anyone—even her family—Katie switched schools and attempted to move on with her life.

Over the next fourteen months, Katie withdrew from her family and friends. She developed an eating disorder and began losing weight. Finally confronted by her mother, Katie confessed the truth. A year of fervent prayer and therapy finally helped Katie to overcome the pain and return to a normal life.

Meantime, Katie’s father was battling the desire to avenge his daughter’s rape. He even developed a plan to kill the man who had so deeply wounded his daughter. He, too, pulled away from everyone as he plotted how he’d drive through the college campus, sit in the parking lot with his rifle until the rapist walked by, and then shoot him.

One weekend when Katie was home, he retreated from her pain by going to the basement to clean his gun. His son Thomas came downstairs and asked, “Whatcha doin’, Dad? Can I help ya clean? You goin’ huntin’?”

The father didn’t respond. When he looked at Thomas, the boy’s eyes brimmed with tears. He knows. Dear God, I think my son knows my plan, the father thought.

“Come here, boy. Give your daddy a hug,” Rick Garmon said. When Thomas wrapped his arms around him, the father realized that the boy’s love was somehow stronger than his hatred. “His hug began to crumble my rage like a sledgehammer breaking a wall,” the father said. “Chip by chip.”

Locking the gun in the cabinet, Rick Garmon made a choice to forgive the man who had harmed his daughter.

—Based on Rick Garmon, “My Secret Hate,” Today’s Christian (May–June 2006)