BAD
GRIEVING INSTRUCTIONS

Topics: Death; Grief; Mourning; Sorrow; Worldliness

References: Matthew 5:4; 1 Corinthians 7:29–30; 1 Thessalonians 4:13

When his dog dies, Johnny, five, bursts out crying. His dog has been his constant companion; it slept at the foot of his bed. Now the dog is gone, and little Johnny is a basket case.

Johnny’s dad stammers a bit and says, “Uh, don’t feel bad, Johnny, we’ll get you a new dog.”

It is lesson one in society’s grief management program: Bury your feelings; replace your losses. Once you have the new dog, you won’t think about the old one anymore.

Years later, Johnny falls in love with a high school freshman girl. The world has never looked brighter until she dumps him. Suddenly a curtain covers the sun. Johnny’s heart is broken with big-time hurt. He is a wreck. But Mom comes to the rescue, saying, “Don’t feel bad, John, there are other fish in the sea.”

Lesson two: Bury the pain, replace the loss.

Much later, John’s grandfather dies—the one he fished with every summer and felt close to. A note is slipped to him in math class. He reads the note and breaks into sobs. The teacher sends him to the school office.

John’s father picks him up from school. His mother is weeping in the living room, and John wants to hug her. But his dad says, “Don’t disturb her, John; she needs to be alone. She’ll be all right in a little while. Then the two of you can talk.”

Lesson three: Grieve alone.

Let’s review. Bury your feelings; replace your losses; grieve alone; let time heal; live with regret; never trust again. That has been society’s approach for years.

—Bill Hybels, “A Better Kind of Grieving,” Preaching Today Audio, no. 108