CONFRONTING
BENNY

Topics: Admonition; Confrontation; Gentleness; Guidance; Leadership; Love; Mentoring; Perspective; Reconciliation; Responsibility; Teaching

References: Matthew 18:15; Romans 1:11–12; Ephesians 4:15; Colossians 3:12–14; Philemon 1:7; James 5:19–20

Jim Slevcove was my supervisor for six summers at Forest Home, a Christian conference center in California. I held a responsible position over junior high and high school kids, but I couldn’t pass up a chance to play a prank. Like the time I passed off laxative gum as chewing gum to some coworkers. Word of the rigorous purgative’s effect got back to Jim.

He asked me to come to his office the next day for “a little chat.” There was a long, awkward silence as he leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. Were those tears in his eyes? Then he whispered “Benny” with tender affection. “Benny” he repeated twice when he got control of his emotions.

My arguments disappeared like the vapor they were. I’d gone way over the line of propriety, not to mention compassion. I owed my victims an apology. We talked about my impulsiveness and vindictiveness, the meaning of Christian community, and the responsibilities that go with leadership. In saying the hard thing to me, Jim was always gracious. His goal was not to tear down but to build up.

—Ben Patterson, He Has Made Me Glad (InterVarsity, 2005)