CRITICISMS
926 Criticizing Causes Nervousness
David H. Fink, author of Release From Nervous Tension, wrote an article for the Coronet Magazine, in which he made a striking suggestion as to how we can overcome mental and emotional tensions.
As a psychiatrist for the Veterans Administration he was familiar with 10,000 case histories in this field. Thousands of people, who were mentally and emotionally “tied up” had asked Dr. Fink for some short, magic-button cure for nervousness. In his search for such a cure he studied two groups; the first group was made up of thousands of people who were suffering from mental and emotional disturbances; the second group contained only those, thousands of them, who were free from such tensions.
Gradually one fact began to stand out: those who suffered from extreme tension had one trait in common—they were habitual faultfinders, constant critics of people and things around them. Whereas the men and women who were free of all tensions were the least faultfinding. It would seem that the habit of criticizing is a prelude or mark of the nervous, and of the mentally unbalanced.
927 “Don’t Do It Again!”
Lawrence Spivak, moderator of “Meet the Press” for 30 years, once got a telegram from a viewer just before the show, reading: “Why don t you smile? I ll be watching today, so please smile.”
Spivak, who recently retired from the job, relates: “I made what I thought was a very fetching smile. After that program I got another telegram, reading: “Don t do it again. It was better the other way.”“
—People
928 Customers Will Run It
What Simeon Ford, the proprietor of the Old Grand Union Hotel in New York, had to say about hotels in particular might readily apply to almost any business.
“You don’t need to know anything about a hotel to run one,” he said. “You just open up and the customers tell you how to run it.”
929 First Things Last
When a boy gets up at six o’clock in the morning to do a paper round to “better himself,” people say he is a go-getter. If some Christian organization should ask that same boy to get up at six o clock to do some work for the Lord, they would say, “That’s expecting too much of the boy.”
If a woman spends eight hours away from her home working in a factory or office, she is called a helpful and energetic wife. If, however, she is willing to do the same thing for the Lord, they say, “Religion has gone to her head.”
If one ties himself down to making payments of $2 each week for some time on items for personal enjoyment, he pays willingly. But if that same person placed that much in the collection plate each week, many people would say he is crazy.
A crazy world indeed, where first things come last and last things come first!
—Emergency Post
930 “I See A Flaw”
There it was on display in Cartier’s Fifth Avenue store in New York—the flawless 69.42-carat diamond, originally bought by Cartier for a record $1,050,000 at an auction. People were filing through the jewelry salon to get a glimpse of the diamond.
A short, bald man peered condescendingly at the big diamond in the small glass case and told his wife, “I see a flaw there, but I wouldn’t want to say anything. “
“It isn’t really that beautiful,” concluded a well-dressed lady, “but I wouldn’t mind having it.”
“It’s too large,” said one woman in rhinestone-studded glasses.
“I think it’s vulgar, but I just had to see it,” commented another woman.
Said Joe Whitehead, guard at the store, “I’ve heard more sour grapes in the last two days than in my whole life.”
—Prairie Overcomer
931 Rude And Very Rude
Sir Basil Spencer, British architect, reporting that he had received 700 letters on his design for a new cathedral in Coventry: “Eighty percent were rude. The other 20 percent were very rude.”
—Milwaukee Journal
932 The Wrecking Crew
I stood on the streets of a busy town,
Watching men tearing a building down:
With a “Ho, heave, ho,” and a lusty yell,
They swung a beam and a sidewall fell.
I asked the foreman of the crew,
“Are those men as skilled as those you’d hire if you wanted to build?”
“Ah, no,” he said, “no indeed.
Just common labor is all I need.
I can tear down as much in a day or two,
As would take skilled men a year to do.”
And then I thought as I went on my way,
Just which of these two roles am I trying to play?
Have I walked life’s road with care,
Measuring each deed with rule and square?
Or am I one of those who roam the town,
Content with the labor of tearing down?
—Selected
933 Good Reasons In Heaven
Hans Priem was admitted into paradise on condition that he was not to indulge in his habit of criticising and censuring whatever he notice. He saw two angels carrying a beam crossways, and knocking it against every object they met: but he said nothing. He next saw two other angels drawing water from a fountain and pouring it into a barrel which had holes in the bottom; but he held his peace. Many things similarly were noticed, but he suppressed his remarks, fearing that he might otherwise be expelled from the place.
At last, he saw a cart stuck in the mud, with one pair of horses yoked into its front, and another pair yoked to its rear—the driver urging both simultaneously forward. This was more than Hans could take, and he started criticizing, when he was seized by two angels and turned to the door.
Before the door closed behind him, he looked back and saw that the horses were winged horses, and were pulling the cart from the mud into the air; and as for the cases of the beam and the barrel, there were equally good reasons for what was done.
—Gotthold
934 This Talent To Be Hidden
One of the best stories told at a missionary conference in Shanghai was of a man who said he was afraid he was going to be of no use in the world because he had only one talent. “Oh, that need not discourage you,” said his pastor. “What is your talent?” “The talent of criticism.” “Well, I advise you,” said his pastor, “to do with it what the man of one talent did with his. Criticism may be useful when mixed with other talents, but those whose only activity is to criticize the workers might as well be buried, talent and all.”
—Expositor
935 Manager For The Day
A merchandise complaint to a Toronto department store didn’t produce a satisfactory response from the clerk who answered the phone, so the customer asked to speak to the manager. “Certainly, madam,” said the clerk, who failed to cover the receiver well enough to prevent her from hearing him say, “Well, who wants to be manager today?”
—Mrs. Aese Jensen
936 Epigram On Criticism
• The pleasure of criticizing robs us of the better pleasure of unconscious delight.
• Don’t find fault with what you don’t understand.
—French Proverb
• They have a Right to censure who have a Heart to help.
—William Penn
• A boy loves his dog because it is the only thing around the house that doesn’t find fault with him.
• Ever notice how often a narrow mind and a wide mouth go together?
• Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one.
• If criticizing gives you pain, then do it; If it give you the slightest pleasure, keep your mouth shut.
HOW TO ANSWER CRITICISMS
937 I Do The Best I Know
Abraham Lincoln once said, “If I tried to read, much less answer, all the criticisms made of me, and all the attacks leveled against me, this office would have to be closed for all other business. I do the best I know how, the very best I can. And I mean to keep on doing this, down to the very end. If the end brings me out all wrong, ten angels swearing I had been right would make no difference. If the end brings me out all right, then what is said against me now will not amount to anything.”
938 When Criticized In Newspaper …
An indignant Bostonian rushed into the office of Edward Everett Hale, excited and angered over some criticism that had appeared in a newspaper. Mr. Hale said to him, “Now calm yourself. not half the people in this city take that paper, not half of those who take it read it, not half of those who read it saw that particular item, no half of those who read the statement believed it, and not half of those who believed it are of any consequence.”
—Southern Methodist Layman
939 Answering With The Canal
While contending with the manifold problems of geography and climate in the building of the Panama Canal, Colonel George Washington Goethals had to endure the carping criticism of countless busybodies back home who freely predicted that he would never complete his great task. But the resolute builder pressed steadily forward in his work and said nothing.
“Aren’t you going to answer your critics?” a subordinate inquired.
“In time,” Goethals replied.
“How?”
The great engineer smiled.
“With the canal,” he replied.
—Adrian Anderson
940 Better He Than They
The poet, Tasso, upon receiving reports from friends that a certain enemy was spreading gossip about him, observed:
“I am not disturbed. How much better it is that he speak ill of me to all the world than that all the world should speak ill of me to him.”
941 Silence Is Best Answer
From a 19th century book:
“Silence is often the best answer to criticism. Sometimes a man’s steady, faithful work is his defense. Ole Bull, the violinist, was once offered space in the New York Herald to answer his detractors. He said: “I think it is best that they write against me and I play against them.” The finest argument against one’s detractors is a faithful doing of the very best one can do. It disarms criticism. It wins sympathy. It wastes no time and suffers no loss. Practical doing is ever better than fault-finding or trying to satisfy the censorous. And the world knows it.”
942 “You Take Flag Down!”
A delegate to an international conference was discussing the British feat of conquering Mt. Everest. The British Flag was planted there, he asserted. Turning to a nearby British representative, the delegate said nastily, “Wasn’t it just one of your typical land grabs?”
“I’m not qualified to give an official opinion”, the British replied politely, “but I can say this: If you don’t like the flag flying up there, why not climb up and take it down?”
943 Saluting His Competitors
Sometimes I think my competitors do more for me than my friends do; my friends are too polite to point out my weaknesses. but my competitors go to great expense to advertise them.
My competitors are efficient, diligent, and attentive; they make me search for ways to improve my product and my service.
If I had no competitors, I might be lazy, incompetent, inattentive; I need the discipline they enforce on me.
I salute my competitors; they have been good to me. God bless them all!
944 Reforming Power Of Criticisms
When Anaximander was told that even little boys were laughing at his singing, “Ah!” he said, “then I must learn to sing better.” Plato, being told that he had many enemies who slander him, said, “It is no matter; I shall live so that none will believe them.” Epictetus said, “If any one speaks ill of thee, consider whether he hath truth on his side, and, if so, reform thyself, that his censures may not affect thee.”
—Foster
945 Rewarding His “Friends”
A gentleman calling on Archbishop Tillotson observed in his library one shelf of books of various forms and sizes, all richly bound, finely gilt and lettered. He inquired what favorite authors those were that had been so remarkably distinguished by his grace.
“These,” said the archbishop, “are my own personal friends; and what is more, I have made them such (for they were avowedly my enemies) by the use I have made of those hints which their malice had suggested to me. From these, I have received more profit than from the advice of my best and most cordial friends; and therefore you see I have rewarded them accordingly.”
—Percy
946 Who Edited “Old Bearskin”?
When the great Knute Rockne was coaching at Notre Dame there began to appear in the school paper a column signed “Old Bearskin.” It was the meanest, nastiest, most insulting football column ever written. It would berate the team as a whole and then go after individual players. The writer seemed to have inside dope, for he knew the lazy players, the ones who kept scrapbooks and read their own clippings, the training breakers, and the ladies’ men. There wasn’t a player on the team who wouldn’t have liked to ring his neck.
When a player would come to practice boiling mad over some comment about him. Rockne would sympathize and say that no person should write such things, and he would be mad too. He would tell the boys to get out there and show “Old Bearskin” that it wasn’t true. Only upon the tragic death of Rockne did the real identity of “Old Bearskin” become known. The coach’s column was invaluable for those who had had too much publicity.
947 Butt Of Criticism Fights Back
I have no more right to object to a man holding a different opinion from mine, than I have to differ from a man because he wears a wig and I wear my own hair. But if he takes his wig off, and shakes the powder in my eyes, I shall consider it my duty to get rid of him as soon as possible.
—John Wesley
948 Bouncing Screwball
Charles F. Kettering, who invented the automobile-ignition system among other things, remarked: “People think of the inventor as a screwball, but no one asks the inventor what he thinks of other people.”
—King Features
949 Belaboring The Preposition
During the darkest days of World War II when the very existence of Britain was threatened, Prime Minister Winston Churchill was preparing one of his stirring speeches which he was to deliver in Parliament. After working over it with great care, he forwarded it to the Foreign Office for comment.
The following day, the manuscript was returned to him unmarked except for the notation that he had ended one of his sentences with a preposition. The preposition had been neatly circled, and an arrow indicated its proper place in the sentence.
The Prime Minister immediately dispatched the following note to the Foreign Office: “This is the type of arrogant pedantry which up with I will not put.”
950 Preacher’s Special Book—Will You Sign?
A preacher had on his desk a special book labeled “Complaints of members against one another.” When one of his people called to tell him the faults of another he would say, “Well, here’s my complaint book. I’ll write down what you say, and you can sign it. Then when I have to take up the matter officially I shall know what I may expect you to testify to.” The sight of the open book and the ready pen had its effect, “Oh, no, I couldn’t sign anything like that!” and no entry was made. The preacher said he kept the book for forty years, opened it probably a thousand times, and never wrote a line in it.
951 Gen. Lee’s Good For Evil
This story was told of General Robert E. Lee: Hearing General Lee speak in the highest terms to President Davis about a certain officer, another officer, greatly astonished, said to him, “General, do you know that the man of whom you speak so highly to the President is one of your bitterest enemies, and misses no opportunity to malign you?”
“Yes,” replied General Lee, “but the President asked my opinion of him; he did not ask for his opinion of me.”
—Sunshine Magazine
952 Some Scriptural Pointers
Both Dr. Henry Clay Trumbull and Dr. Charles G. Trumbull, the illustrious editors of The Sunday School Times, used to say that when criticism comes we ought to see whether there is any truth in it, and learn from that truth, and not let our thoughts be distracted by the fact that the criticism may not have been given in the right spirit.
In the face of criticism, by word or by letter, it is well to (1) Commit the matter instantly to God, asking Him to remove all resentment or counter-criticism on our part, and teach us needed lessons; (2) “Consider him that endured such contradictions of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds,” remembering that we ourselves are very great sinners, and that the one who has criticized us does not really know the worst; (3) Take account of the personal bias of the speaker or writer; (4) Remember that “a soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Prov. 15:1);
(5) If the criticism is true, and we have made a mistake or committed a sin, let us humbly and frankly confess our sin to Him, and to anyone whom we may have injured; (6) Learn afresh that we are fallible, and that we need His grace and wisdom moment by moment to keep up in the straight path; (7) Then,—and not until then—”forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before … press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”
—Sunday School Times
953 Epigram On Criticism (Answer)
• Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a state in honor of a critic.
—Jean Sibelius
• When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.
—The Wall Street Journal
• “If a dog barks at a hill, will the hill crumble?”
—Malay Proverb
• If criticism had any real power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.
—Fred Allen
• The moon could not go on shining if it paid any attention to the little dogs that bark at it.
• If you are standing upright, don’t worry if your shadow is crooked.
• Be not disturbed at being misunderstood; be disturbed rather at not being understanding.
—Chinese Proverb
• “I want to be willing to make enemies because of my position but not because of my disposition.”
—Jack Hyles
• Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body: it calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.
—Reader’s Digest
• The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.
—Norman Vincent Peale
• The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it, stop it; if you can’t stop it, laugh at it; if you can’t laugh at it, it’s probably deserved.
—Russell Lynes
See also: Complaining ; Murmuring ; Rumors ; II Pet. 2:10, 12.