FAMOUS PEOPLE

And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains.

—Rev. 6:11

1589 Robinson Caruso

Enrico Caruso, the famous tenor, told this experience, which would seem to prove that no man is as well-known as he thinks he is.

“While motoring in upper New York State, my automobile broke down and I sought refuge in a lonely farmhouse while the car was being repaired. The farmer and I got into conversation and after a while he asked my name. I told him it was Caruso.

“The farmer jumped to his feet and exclaimed, grabbing my hand, “I never thought that I would ever see a man like you here in my kitchen! Caruso! The great traveler! Robinson Caruso!””

—Selected

1590 What A Put Down!

Twain was a distinguished-looking figure in his later years. One day he was strolling in the park when a little girl pattered up to him and asked if she could walk with him. Highly flattered, Twain told her stories for an hour, then gave her a nickel and said, “Now run along home—and when you grow up you can tell your friends you once walked with Mark Twain.” “Mark Twain!” echoed the little girl, bursting into tears. “I thought you were Buffalo Bill!”

1591 Animal In Navy

Admiral Dewey was a lover of children, and when he took his constitutional walk, always spoke to those he met.

“Well, my little man,” said he, to a small boy of the neighborhood, “what are you going to be when you get to be a man?” “Oh, an Animal in the Navy, just like you,” replied the child promptly.

1592 Budgeting For Vice-Presidents

Vice President Nixon enjoys relating an incident which took place at the Boy Scout Jamboree at Valley Forge. Practically every scout there had a camera and was trying to get a shot of the Vice President. One little fellow was as anxious as anyone else, but after snapping three shots he closed his camera and said, “That’s all my budget allows for Vice Presidents.”

—Heast Headline Service

1593 How To Deflate Authors

In the San Francisco airport, composer Aaron Copland saw a woman buying two paperbacks, a copy of Shakespeare’s plays and Copland’s book, What to Listen for in Music. Copland approached her and beamed, “Would you like me to autograph it?” The beam vanished when the woman replied, “Which one?”

—Leonard Lyons

1594 Postman In The Know

Michigan State’s football coach Duffy Daugherty received a letter addressed to “Duffy the Dope.” “Didn’t that make you mad?” he was asked. “I didn’t mind getting the card,” he said. “It was pretty funny. The thing that bothered me was that the East Lansing post office knew exactly where to deliver it.”

—Treasury of Sports Humor

1595 The Belly Doctor

One day, in the Mayo Clinic, an affluent and obnoxious newcomer spied a white-haired doctor standing in the lobby. He strode up officiously and said: “Tell me, my good man, are you the head doctor here?”

Dr. Will, elder of the two famous Mayo brothers, bowed courteously to his interrogator. “No, kind sir, it must be my good brother you are seeking. I am the belly doctor.”

—Helen Clapesattle

1596 Wright Brothers As Merchants?

Lt. Gen. Arthur G. Trudeau told this story of the Wright brothers coming home for Christmas to emphasize the fact that the public is not always impressed by scientific accomplishment.

After Wilbur and Orville made their history-making flight at Kitty Hawk, N. C., on Dec. 17, 1903, they wrote home about it and added they’d be home in a few days. Their letter reached a Dayton newspaper which headlined the story, “Prominent Local Bicycle Merchants to be Home for Christmas.”

1597 Davis Cup Founder Slighted

The Davis Cup is an international award given to the tennis champions of the world. It was established by Dwight Davis in the year 1900.

In 1932, three decades later, Mr. Davis attended one of the matches of the Davis Cup tournament in Paris. He wanted to sit with the American team, but a French official forbade it. “But, I’m Mr. Davis,” said the surprised donor of the award for which the teams were playing. “Impossible,” objected the official, “I don’t know any Mr. Davis.”

Disappointed, Davis went back to his hotel. Some hours later Pierre Gilloux, head of the French Tennis Federation, heard of the unfortunate incident. He called Mr. Davis and offered his apologies. He then arranged that the next day of the tournament Mr. Davis would be publicly introduced and would receive a formal apology.

1598 Who are you In Stockholders’ Meet?

At a stockholder’s meeting, Chairman Irving S. Olds, of the United States Steel Corporation, was about to proceed with the business of the day, when a lady arose from her seat and demanded, “Exactly who are you and what do you do?”

Without losing one ounce of his equanimity, Mr. Olds replied, “I am your chairman. Of course you know the duties of a chairman. I’d say he was roughly the equivalent of parsley on a platter of fish.”

—This Week

1599 Prestige Not Money In British Election

London (Reuter)—The 2128 candidates contesting Britain’s general election in 1974 are aiming for power and prestige, rather than money.

The annual salary for those who succeed is only 4,500 sterling, less than what most executives earn in industry.

When the 635 politicians file into the House of Commons to make up the new parliament, many will have taken a cut in their standard of living to become M.P.s.

Even Prime Minister Edward Heath takes home less than many top men in British industry. He earns a modest 20,000 sterling a year, but he does become eligible for a 7,500-sterling annual pension on reaching 65—even if he loses his job within weeks of being elected.

1600 Napoleon Hated Nobody

Of Napoleon, Herold writes: “Napoleon loved only himself, but unlike Hitler, he hated nobody. In good as in evil, he was without emotion, and he did only so much of either as he believed necessary. Napoleon’s main achievement, if it may be called that, was the revolution he brought about in the techniques of power and of manipulating men. His use of press and propaganda, his mastery of applied psychology to make people do what he wanted them to do, his rhetoric, his bulletins, his genius at self-dramatization, his flair for pageantry, his superb exploitation of human vanity, ambition, and gullibility, his genius at fanning fear and greed by turns, and finally, his artful creation of his own legend—all this places him squarely in our own times.”

1601 Ho’s Ho In Texas

From the Austin, Texas, American: “She is cited in Who’s Who in America, The International Blue Book (Who’s Who in the World), Who’s ho in Education, ho’s Who among Women and ho’s ho in Texas.”

1602 Unknown As Basis For Favor

The former world chess champion, Dr. Alexander Alekhine, was traveling by train and as usual was examining game position on his pocket set. An elderly gentleman sitting near noticed this and challenged the champion (whom he did not recognize) to a game. Alekhine agreed, provided his opponent would accept very favorable odds. “But how can you do this?” asked the man. “You have never seen me before and don’t know me.”

“Exactly,” replied Alekhine. “If I were unable to give you such odds, I would know you.”

—Chess

1603 On Even Terms

While appearing in London some years ago, Maurice Chevalier was introduced to George Bernard Shaw.

The famous playwright could not place him.

“Chevalier? Chevalier?” he repeated. “What is it you do, young man? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with your work.”

To an actor, this was an unforgivable offense. Instead of being offended, however, Chevalier was relieved.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “I’m not familiar with your work either. Now we can start on even terms.”

—Milwaukee Journal

1604 Putting Poet In Place

Robert Frost: “Every now and then I catch a man reading a poem of mine. He always looks up sheepishly and says, “My wife’s a great fan of yours.” That puts us poets in our place.”

1605 Enter Wind Ensemble

Sen. Henry “Scoop” Jackson, of Washington, was scheduled to address the students at Oberlin College the day his first child was born. He asked his assistant to cancel the appearance. She phoned the college, and was informed that a substitute for Senator Jackson was available.

“Just to satisfy my own curiosity,” she asked, “whom will you put in place of the Senator?”

“The wind ensemble,” she was told.

—King Features

1606 Signature Only As Payment

It is said that at one time Picasso wanted a wardrobe in mahogany, of a special shape and size, for a large room in his chateau near Aix-en-Provence. He went to a local cabinet maker, and to make his wishes clear, he grabbed a sheet of paper and sketched on it exactly what he had in mind. When he had finished, he asked the cabinet maker what the charge would be for the work. “Nothing; nothing at all; only sign the sketch.” With Picasso’s signature, the drawing would be very valuable.

—Christian Victory

1607 I’m The Governor

Statehouse janitors in Nebraska’s capitol were heading home from work about 1 a. m. when one of them noticed a new face in the group leaving the building. “What offices do you clean?” the veteran janitor asked the newcomer.

“I try to keep all departments as clean as I can,” replied Victor E. Anderson. “I’m the Governor.”

—Neb., World-Herald

1608 Epigram On Famous People

•     Celebrity: A person who works hard to become well-known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

—Happy Variety, London

•     Fame is chiefly a matter of dying at the right time.

—E. C. McKenzie