FINDING
FREEDOM IN MARRIAGE

Topics: Dying to Self; Giving; Marriage; Sacrifice; Self-centeredness; Singleness

References: Acts 20:35; Romans 12:1; 2 Corinthians 8:9; Galatians 2:20

The biggest drawback to living alone is having nobody to forgive, says author D. J. Waldie. It’s not that you don’t get certain things, such as companionship, sex, and somebody to share the chores; it’s that you can’t give to them. You are deprived of a great opportunity: to learn to love your neighbor as yourself.

“This was a radical notion in Christ’s time; it is radical now,” Waldie says. “It will always be radical because it is the hardest way, the most illogical way, the ‘unfairest’ way—and the only way that can grant us the peace that passes all understanding.

“In a way I can see only dimly, marriage is causing me to be freer with my time, my money, my affections. It is changing my heart, one molecule at a time, from stone to flesh. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, it is giving me the opportunity to die to myself.”

And that, as Saint Francis said, is the only way to awaken to eternal life.

—Based on D. J. Waldie, Holy Land: A Suburban Memoir (Norton, 1996)