MARRIAGE, COMMITMENT IN
With the rising divorce rate and the trend toward total truthfulness these days, it is almost as though the marriage vows are being changed from “till death do us part” to “till something better comes along.”845
The ties of a durable marriage are not like the pretty silken ribbons attached to wedding presents. Instead, they must be forged like steel in the heat of daily life and the pressures of crisis in order to form a union that cannot be severed.846
The comic strip said a lot about the world’s view of marriage:
One character said, “You know, it’s odd—but now that I’m actually engaged I’m starting to feel nervous about getting married!”
The other character replied, “I know what you’re thinking. It’s only natural to be nervous! Marriage is a big commitment. Seven or eight years can be a long time!”847
A good many years ago, I knew a workingman in the north of England whose wife, soon after her marriage, drifted in vicious ways, and went rapidly from bad to worse. He came home one Sunday evening to find, as he had found a dozen times before, that she had gone on a new debauch. He knew in what condition she would return after two or three days of a nameless life. He sat down in the cheerless house to look the truth in the face and to find what he must do. The worst had happened too often to leave him much hope for amendment, and he saw in part what might be in store for him. He made his choice to hold by his wife to the end and to keep a home for her who would not make one for him. Now that a new and terrible meaning had passed into the words “for better or for worse,” he reaffirmed his marriage vow.
Later, when someone who knew them both intimately ventured to commiserate with him, he answered, “Not a word! She is my wife! I loved her when she was a girl in our village and I shall love her as long as there is breath in my body.” She did not mend, and died in his house after some years in a shameful condition, with his hands spread over her in pity and prayer to the last.
W. R. Maltby, Christ and His Cross, (London: Epworth, 1938) pp. 54–55.848
There is a scientific law called the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This law states that any closed system left to itself tends toward greater randomness; that is, it breaks down. It takes an ordered input of energy to keep anything together.
This is readily seen with a house. Any homeowner knows that to maintain a house, one must daily, monthly, and yearly invest time and energy to keep the house enjoyable to live in. If no energy is expended on the house, it eventually comes to the point of needing a complete overhaul, or else it is knocked down.
Although it is a law designed to describe material systems, the Second Law of Thermodynamics seems to describe other systems also. For example, consider the marriage relationship. It must have a daily, monthly, and yearly investment of time and energy so that it is enjoyable to live in. If no energy is expended, eventually the relationship needs a complete overhaul, or else it is knocked down.
It is a wise couple who build into their marriage continually—rather than waiting passively for a complete overhaul in the counselor’s office or a knockdown in the courtroom.849