Parenting is not about setting rules, but rather building a relationship with your child. Without a relationship, your child will never understand any rules or boundaries. Without understanding, a child looks for ways to rebel. Your rules without you are meaningless. Your relationship without rules breeds confusion and chaos in a child’s life. Rules establish … Continue reading “9 RULES WITHOUT RELATIONSHIP RESULT IN
REBELLION; RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT RULES RESULTS IN CHAOS.”
8 DISCIPLINE CORRECTS AND TEACHES; PUNISHMENT HURTS AND CRUSHES.
“I’m going to beat you until the sun goes down,” the angry parent yelled at the abused child. Punishment purposes to hurt because of hurt. When a child misbehaves, we discipline. Discipline corrects and teaches. Mr. Spoon is a resident at our home. He is a wooden spoon with a happy face on one side … Continue reading “8 DISCIPLINE CORRECTS AND TEACHES;
PUNISHMENT HURTS AND CRUSHES.”
7 ASK YOUR CHILD TO SHARE FEELINGS, NOT JUST OPINIONS.
Too often I would ask, “What do you think?” Instead, I meant to ask, “What do you feel?” Feelings speak to the heart while thoughts and opinions rattle around in the head. Feelings get at our emotional responses, our raw gut-level reactions to people and situations. Feelings may arise out of temperament or conditioning. We … Continue reading “7 ASK YOUR CHILD TO SHARE FEELINGS, NOT
JUST OPINIONS.”
6 YOUR CHILD ISN’T A GARBAGE CAN—NO DUMPING!
Look into a mirror. Tug on your ear. Say out loud to yourself, “This is an ear, not a garbage can.” The same is true for your child’s ears. Refuse to dump your negative feelings about your spouse, your spiritual leader, or your boss into your child’s ears. Never dump profanity into a child’s ears. … Continue reading “6 YOUR CHILD ISN’T A GARBAGE CAN—NO
DUMPING!”
5 WANT A CHILD TO TALK? LISTEN! WILLING SILENCE WITHOUT INTERRUPTIONS PRIMES A CHILD’S FLOW OF COMMUNICATION.
“I can’t stand it when he just sits there and looks at me.” The teenager made this comment about the unbearable pressure he felt when his dad just sat silently in the room with him. No TV. No radio. Nothing else was happening except one-on-one relating. How long will you wait to hear from your … Continue reading “5 WANT A CHILD TO TALK? LISTEN! WILLING
SILENCE WITHOUT INTERRUPTIONS PRIMES A CHILD’S FLOW OF COMMUNICATION.”
4 TALKING AT CHILDREN IS A MONOLOGUE WITH THE PARENT DOING ALL THE TALKING AND LISTENING.
“I’m tired of hearing myself talk.” I can remember my mother frequently making this comment. Frankly, she was talking, but I wasn’t listening. I had all of her “sermons” memorized. So when she turned on the message, I tuned out. Failing to learn anything, I began preaching to my children. Then I discovered my children … Continue reading “4 TALKING AT CHILDREN IS A MONOLOGUE WITH
THE PARENT DOING ALL THE TALKING AND LISTENING.”
3 ONLY SAY WHAT THE FATHER TELLS YOU TO SAY; ONLY DO WHAT THE FATHER TELLS YOU TO DO.
“Where did that comment come from?” Ever wonder what the source of some of your remarks is? I often found myself simply parroting to my child the stuff my parents repeated often to me. Some of it was positive, but other comments really did more harm than good. Jesus gave us a good model to … Continue reading “3 ONLY SAY WHAT THE FATHER TELLS YOU TO
SAY; ONLY DO WHAT THE FATHER TELLS YOU TO DO.”
2 SPEAK LIFE, NOT DEATH INTO YOUR CHILDREN.
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to say that.” Excuses after we have spoken death will not undo the damage of poison deposited into a child’s heart. Jesus reminds us that out of our hearts, our mouths speak. If we don’t mean it, then we should not say it. Think before you speak. Be certain … Continue reading “2 SPEAK LIFE, NOT DEATH INTO YOUR
CHILDREN.”
1 CHILDREN REQUIRE TAKING NOTICE, TALKING, TRUTH, TRUST, TOGETHERNESS, TOUCH, THANKSGIVING, TIME, TEACHING, TRINITY.
It’s impossible to parent part-time. Parenting requires our full-time attention, love, care, discipline, effort and excellence. Too often we try to squeeze parenting into a rushed, stressed schedule of work, recreation, personal development, entertainment and overlapping activities. We confuse taking our children places and involving them in extracurricula activities with involved parenting. Yes, part of … Continue reading “1 CHILDREN REQUIRE TAKING NOTICE, TALKING,
TRUTH, TRUST, TOGETHERNESS, TOUCH, THANKSGIVING, TIME, TEACHING, TRINITY.”
77 ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER
Some mates believe they have certain rights and entitlements in marriage. The best place to dump your imagined rights isn’t on your spouse; it’s at the foot of the cross. Try this: If we have any indisputable rights in marriage, they are as follows. Say to your mate: The Marriage Bill of Rights I have … Continue reading “77 ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER”