A presence-driven marriage understands that God’s presence births purposes, God’s purposes births plans and God’s plans birth productivity. What happens in your marriage must be determined by God’s Spirit. Otherwise, it is destined to be temporary instead of being lasting. God’s presence births purpose in your marriage. A purpose has a time and season. Stepping … Continue reading “46 BE PRESENCE-DRIVEN”
45 UNDERSTAND BEFORE YOU TRY TO FIX IT
Mates often assume they know what’s wrong before they really understand what’s happening inside the other person. Remember that the presenting problem is rarely the real problem. Assume nothing. Ask your spouse to explain before you leap into a rescue or a fix of the situation. Remember that you are called to be your spouse’s … Continue reading “45 UNDERSTAND BEFORE YOU TRY TO FIX IT”
44 REFUSE TO DUMP ON YOUR SPOUSE
What’s dumping? Dumping takes all your trashy negative feelings and uses your spouse as a garbage can. Dumping may help you feel better, but it transfers your negative feelings and attitudes to someone else. I remember a time when I would come home and tell my wife all my negative feelings about a certain person. … Continue reading “44 REFUSE TO DUMP ON YOUR SPOUSE”
43 LISTEN BEFORE YOU SPEAK
Paul counseled Timothy to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. That’s great counsel for marriages. First hear all that your spouse is saying. Paraphrase back to your mate what you heard to be certain you understood what was said. Share the feelings that you are perceiving from what he has … Continue reading “43 LISTEN BEFORE YOU SPEAK”
42 LEARN EACH OTHER’S NONVERBAL LANGUAGE
What we don’t say to each other speaks volumes. Much communication is nonverbal. Ponder this list and reflect on how your spouse communicates in each of the following nonverbal ways: Facial expression. Eye contact and how your mate uses her face to communicate reveals much about what’s happening inside. Tone of voice. It’s not what … Continue reading “42 LEARN EACH OTHER’S NONVERBAL LANGUAGE”
41 FACE THE PROBLEM NOW; TIME NUMBS BUT CAN NEVER HEAL
“Let’s talk about this problem right now and stop putting it off,” pleaded the husband. Let’s face it. Sometimes we procrastinate until a small problem becomes a major wall in marriage. Sometimes, it’s wise to set aside the discussion of a heated issue until you can talk about it calmly. When that’s the case, make … Continue reading “41 FACE THE PROBLEM NOW; TIME NUMBS BUT CAN NEVER HEAL”
40 BE TEACHABLE
None of us ever arrives in marriage. We are always growing and learning. How does that happen? Learn from each other. My wife teaches me much about marriage, herself, family, living in the world and walking with Christ. Learn from your spouse. Study the Word. The Holy Spirit teaches us all truth through Scripture. Study … Continue reading “40 BE TEACHABLE”
39 KNOW THAT YOUR PAST DOESN’T DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE
Every marriage has past mistakes and failures, but to dwell on the past destroys a marriage. It’s time to forget the past and move forward with God. God is saying to your marriage right now, Do not remember the former things Nor consider the things of old Behold, I will do a new thing, Now … Continue reading “39 KNOW THAT YOUR PAST DOESN’T DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE”
38 STAY ON-PURPOSE
Life is filled with distractions. Your marriage will be pulled in scores of different directions. It’s so easy to chase after good ideas instead of God ideas. Remember Abraham and Sarah? They had a good idea. God had promised them a baby boy in their old age. But waiting on God’s purpose took too long, … Continue reading “38 STAY ON-PURPOSE”
37 SAY, “HOW MAY I SERVE YOU?”
Mutual submission in marriage is often more difficult for men than women. Raised in a male-dominated culture, men often expect women to serve them. But Ephesians 5 describes something quite different. Remember that there are no subhead, punctuation, chapter or verse divisions in the original biblical manuscripts. So the traditional subheading between Ephesians 5:21 and … Continue reading “37 SAY, “HOW MAY I SERVE YOU?””