Qualifications

Timber

Quality

•      Presidential Timber – Leaps tall buildings with a single bound.

•      Vice-President Timber – Must take running start to leap over tall buildings.

•      Timber – Can leap only over short buildings or medium buildings with no spires.

•      Deadwood – Crashes into building when attempting to jump over them.

•      Toothpick – Cannot recognize buildings at all, much less jump.

Initiative:

•      Presidential Timber – Is stronger than a locomotive.

•      Vice-President Timber – Is stronger than a bull elephant.

•      Timber – Is stronger than a bull.

•      Deadwood – Shoots the bull.

•      Toothpick – Smells like a bull.

Use of Time:

•      Presidential Timber – Is faster than a speeding bullet.

•      Vice-President Timber – Is as fast as a speeding bullet.

•      Timber – Not quite so fast as a speeding bullet.

•      Deadwood – Would you believe a slow bullet.

•      Toothpick – Wounds self with bullets attempting to shoot gun.

Communication:

•      Presidential Timber – Talks with God.

•      Vice-President Timber – Talks with angels.

•      Timber – Talks to himself.

•      Deadwood – Argues with himself.

•      Toothpick – Loses those arguments.

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