Satan's Beatitudes – Bible study

If the devil were to write his Beatitudes, they would probably go something like this (links added by Mike Riley):

• Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians they are my best workers.

• Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked I can use them.

• Blessed are the touchy. With a bit of luck, they may stop going to church they are my missionaries.

• Blessed are the troublemakers they shall be called my children.

• Blessed are the complainers Im all ears to them.

• Blessed are they who are bored with the ministers mannerisms and mistakes for they get nothing out of his sermons.

• Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

• Blessed are they who gossip for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.

• Blessed are they who are easily offended for they will soon get angry and quit.

• Blessed are they who do not give their offering to carry on God’s work for they are my helpers.

• Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister for he shall be with me forever.

• Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people and not yourself Ive got you. (source).

Dan McKibben