WHY
KIDS ARE RUDE

Topics: Child Rearing; Children; Civility; Conduct; Respect

References: Proverbs 22:6; 1 Corinthians 13:4–5; Ephesians 6:1–4

In 2002, only 9 percent of adults said the children they saw in public were respectful toward adults. In 2004, more than one of three teachers considered leaving their profession or knew another teacher who quit. The reason? Students’ “intolerable behavior.” So said Public Agenda, a nonprofit and nonpartisan research group.

In 2005, 70 percent of people surveyed said, “People are ruder than they were 20 or 30 years ago.” Among the worst offenders were children, said an Associated Press-Ipsos poll. The reason, experts say, is because of what parents expect from kids. “The pressure to do well is up. The demand to do good is way down.”

Dan Kindlon, a child psychologist at Harvard University, believes most parents want considerate, polite, well-behaved children. “But they’re too tired, worn down by work, and personally needy to take up the task of teaching them proper behavior at home,” Kindlon says. He says present-day parenting has more to do with training boys and girls to compete in school or on the soccer field, but competition doesn’t teach civility.

“Parents are out of control,” says Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, a child psychiatrist. “We always want to blame the kids, but if there’s something wrong with their incivility, it’s the way their parents model for them.”

—Judith Warner, “Kids Gone Wild,” The New York Times (November 27, 2005)