1 Kings 3:16-28 – What A Good Mother Should Be (1) – Bible study

1Kings 3:16-28 What A Good Mother Should Be? Let me start the message by saying that I am glad and honored for every mother present. I truly understand that there are many places you could be, but you have chosen to be here and I do not take that for granted. My goal is to do two things for the mothers this morning. 1. I want to honor you. Romans 13:7 Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour. Mothers are worthy of honor. From the discomfort you endure to carry a child, to the pain you have to deliver the child, to the many sacrifices you must make to rear a child, you are worthy of honor. 2. I want to help you. I want to help make your job easier. I want to help you produce a son or daughter that you can be proud of. I want to help you rear a child that is saved and a blessing to you. Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. I pray that God will allow me to accomplish both of those goals today. Notice that Solomon is given credit for his wisdom in this text (as he should). Yet, what Solomon did was to rely on the nature of a good mother. Two women were claiming the same child. One mother was grieving over having accidentally killed her baby. It was probably not evident, but Solomon knew grief and bitterness would reside in that mother. He also knew that an abounding love would abide in the heart of the other mother. The mother of the living baby had risked her life to bring the child into the world. She would not allow anything to happen to her baby. If she had to, she would give her own life to safe her baby. Solomon did not know exactly what the true mother of the baby would do, but he knew she would do something to save her baby. And she did. She was willing to give her baby away than to have it slain. Solomon was relying on the nature of a good mother to determine whose the child was. Today, what it takes to be a good mother has become very confusing. Girls are not taught that motherhood is the highest goal in their life. Personal happiness, career, fun, freedom, wealth, and a variety of other goals are emphasized as being more nobler than motherhood. The signals that our culture is sending are very strong and they say that motherhood is a second rate life. Children are an inconvenience to be dropped off at a day care, or to be abandoned at birth, or even aborted before they can be born. This attitude has prevailed in our culture for so long, that the mothers of todays mothers do not even know what it takes to be a good mother. Thankfully, we have the original instruction Book. We have the Bible. It was the Bible that taught us the importance of motherhood to begin with. It taught mothers and fathers how to do the job of rearing good and godly children. What it did generations ago, it can do today. So, what does it take to be a good mother? Lets look at some Scripture examples. I. A good mother should be a nurturer. Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, A. To nurture means to be able to provide for a child, to care for a child, to properly develop a child. B. Nurturing a child is a multi-dimensional task. 1. A mother must be able to take care of the physical needs of a baby. a. a child must be feed, kept well, kept safe, educated, taught the value of work. (1) This is the most basic of care for a child. (2) It is the physical dimension of nurture. (3) If a court can prove that a mother is not able to do these things for a child, they will remove the child from the mother and seek another ward. b. Yet, some cannot provide this basic care. (1) Their bodies may be addicted to alcohol or drugs. (2) They live such an immoral life that they and their children could not know safety or security. (3) Other circumstances may have caused a mother to be unable to provide for the most basic needs of a child. c. If this is you, do not think I am telling you to give up your child! (1) At no point in this message am I preaching give up your child. (2) No, rather my point is that if you are not the mother you need to be, Christ can make you so. (3) Christ can take away your addictions, your bad morals, your short comings. d. \#John 4:16-18\ Jesus told the woman at the well to go fetch her husband. (1) She balked and told him that she had no husband. (2) Jesus corrected her and told her that she had had five husbands and was at that time living with a man to whom she was not married. (3) The words that Jesus spoke to the woman were a rebuke to her. She was living an immoral life. (4) Yet, notice how this woman left Jesus. John 4:28 The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, 29 Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ? (5) She did not leave sad, but happy and excited. She went to invite others to meet her Jesus. Why? (6) Because even though Jesus rebuked her, He did not take away what she had. He gave her what she needed. 2. A child must also be loved and feel secure. a. No human being is just a body. Every human being is a soul. b. Souls need more than food and shelter. Souls need love and security. c. Sadly, some mothers do not know how to love. (1) Why are mothers abandoning their babies? aborting their babies? beating their babies? selling their babies? (2) Because they dont love their babiesat least they dont love their babies as much as they love their own selves. d. Believe it or not, this is not always the fault of the young mother. (1) The Bible teaches us something important about love. 1 John 4:19 We love him, because he first loved us. (2) This is a specific truth, but it has a wider application. (3) John tells us that we did not love God until we first were loved by God. (4) Might I suggest to you that even love is something you must be taught. (a) We like to think certain qualities are part of the human nature, such as love, compassion, loyalty, so forth. (b) They are not. (c) Sin has so infiltrated the nature of humanity that when left to ourselves, we become selfish, maniacal, even evil. (5) Love is something you must receive before you can give it. (a) Many young mothers dont love because they were not loved. (b) You say, "Where did all of this break down? Is it then the fault of the grandmother? the great grandmother? Who dropped the ball and failed to love their child?" (c) The problem is not just in the breakdown of human love. No human being has ever loved perfectly. (d) The problem is that we are all getting away from Gods divine love. God is the One who loves us unconditionally. (e) God is and always has been the One who loved us and gave us the ability to love others, including our children. e. Now you say, "I dont love my child." (1) Perhaps it is because you were not loved by your parents. (2) Perhaps they did their best. They just did not love you as you needed. (3) Perhaps they didnt do their best. Perhaps they used you, neglected you, even abused you. (4) So you ask, "What should I do?" f. You should go straight to the Source of Love. (1) You should go to the God who made you. (2) You should go to the God who sent His Son to die for you. (3) He will give you the love that you need so that you will have an ample supply to give to your child. 3. A child must be developed spiritually. a. The most neglected aspect of child rearing is the most neglected aspect in life – the spiritual. b. However, God created us a triune being. We are body, soul, and spirit. c. Long after our body and mind have gone back to the dust of this earth, our eternal spirits will abideeither in heaven or hell. d. The spiritual direction that a parents starts a child in will largely be the direction that child will travel the remainder of his life. e. An online poll showed that: (1) 1% of those responding were saved before 5 years of age. (2) 85% of those responding were saved between 5 and 14. (3) 10% were saved between 15 and 30. (4) 4% were saved after 30. http://www.childrens-church-ministry.com/salvation-poll.html f. Some take the attitude, "I dont want to force my child to go to church." (1) Why not? (2) You force them to go to bed, to eat their supper, to zip their pants, to brush their teeth, to go to school. (3) Every parent knows they force their children to do things they dont want to do. (4) "My parents forced me and I dont want to have anything to do with church." (5) So the real reason you wont force your child to go to church is because you would have to take him. (6) That is just your rebellious nature kicking at God. (7) The truth is you would not have wanted to go to church if your parents had not forced you to go as a child either. (8) At least they made sure you knew enough about salvation to make an intelligent decision about where you would spend eternity. (g) You say, "I have not done a very good job training my children spiritually." (1) Get started. Whether they are 4 or 40, get started. (2) However, dont start it for their sakes. Start it for yours. (3) The last thing the world needs is another person who tells their kids, "Live like I say, not like I do." C. One of the problems with being a good mother is some women lack this nurturing ability, but you can get it. 1. God is the Nurturer of all living things. 2. He can put that ability into you if you will let Him.