John 20:19-31 The Doubting Thomas in Us All (Wigmore) – Bible study

Sermon John 20:19-31 The Doubting Thomas in Us All

By Fr. Bill Wigmore

(This sermon was delivered to a group recovering from alcohol and drug addiction.)

Well good evening once again
And a very special welcome to any doubting Thomas who are
here with us tonight. Youve definitely come to the right place!

Now I dont know too many of us in the Program
who havent struggled & stumbled, in finding our way to faith.

But finding a faith that works.
thats the thing the Big Book says we each need to do
if were to have any hope of staying clean & sober
over the long haul.

Most of us come into the Program harboring plenty of doubts.
If youre struggling with Step Two
you really need to know that youre not alone.

But the Big Book writers tell us that while they too shared some of our doubts,
they found a way to get over those faith hurdles.
And they tell us that if well just be willing to follow a few simple directions
then we too can make that leap of faith thats maybe eluded us for so long.

Whenever I think about taking a leap of faith,
Im reminded of that great scene in one of those Indiana Jones movies –
Maybe you remember it?

Its the one where a bunch of bad guys are chasing Indy
through a very long and very dark cave.

Theyre shooting guns and throwing spears at him
and theyre just a couple of hundred yards away from killing him.

And Indys running as fast as he can hes trying to stay ahead
but then, all of a sudden, hes brought to a screeching halt.

Indys arrived at the end of the cave
and it looks like the road hes been running on stops right at the
edge of a tremendous, high cliff.

Indy looks down: and its a thousand feet to the bottom
And then he looks back: the bad guys are almost on top of him with their guns blazing –
Whats he going to do?
Either way lies certain death and he doesnt have time to call his sponsor!

And then theres a really intense moment of silence up there on the screen.
You can almost see Indy going inside and starting to pray.
His life is back at Step One again
Things are definitely: unmanageable!

So its then that Indy remembers a piece of spiritual guidance
that hed been given by his sponsor
Some Wise Old Man we met back at the start of the movie.

And that old Mans voice is playing in his head
and its telling Indy that he needs to let go

He needs to step off the cliff and trust
Trust that the hand of God will be there to catch him, and hold
him, and carry him safely over to the other side.
But like most of us, he hesitates;
Like most of us, hes terrified of letting go.
How does he let go of the world that he can see, and feel, and touch?
And turn his life & his will over to the care of a God that he cant see at all –
and hes not even sure that he really exists?
Its Step Three time for Indiana J.

So Indy raises his right foot, and he squeezes his eyes shut,
and then, in what the Big Book calls: a moment of complete
abandon, he steps off the edge of that huge cliff.

And just as he does,
then those of us in the audience can see that the road that looked like it ended
well, it didnt really end at all.

The road had continued on –
but somehow it had blended into the rocks behind it
and so it couldnt be seen with the naked eye.

We couldnt see that the road was always there
until Indy took that step and his foot landed him on solid ground.

God held him in the palm of his hand!
just like the Wise Old Man had promised he would.

Faith isnt knowing for sure that something will happen
Faith is really just the opposite!
Faith is Not Knowing that something will happen
Its not being sure at all –
but going ahead and taking that step anyway.

In tonights gospel story from John,
the disciples really have their backs up against a wall.
They sound like some of us when we first arrive in the Program.
Their whole worlds come crashing down around them.
Theyre terrified.
The authorities are hot on their trail
and theyre locked up in some cheap, Jerusalem motel.

At the moment we meet em – theyre more than a little paranoid.
And some of us can probably identify with that too!

Now what we need to understand is that
for three years or so Jesus had been with these guys.
And for three years, hed provided them with their strength
– Hed been the one giving them all their courage.
When Jesus was with them, they felt safe & secure.
When Jesus was with them, they experienced his peace.
But once Jesus had died, it seems that all their courage & all their faith
died right along with him.

So now theyd given up their dreams and most of them were getting ready
to pack up and head back to Galilee.

Peter was going back to his fishing.
He said, No more following dreamers like Jesus no more fishing for men
From now on he said: Im sticking with fish fish that I can see.

According to Johns gospel, the scene is now three days after Jesus death –
and the disciples are in hiding behind those locked doors.

But now John says that somehow Jesus enters into that room
and he stands among them.
Somehow hes there made present to them once again;
Very gently he says the word: Peace.

They cant understand how this can be happening
theyre sacred to death they aint peaceful at all ! –
So Jesus has to repeat himself and he says to them again:Peace!

And then, as we heard in the story, Jesus does a really strange thing.
It says he breaths over his friends and he says:
Heres holy spirit! Heres my spirit! Take it now!
Take it into your hearts
and feel what its like to have me back in your life again.
Feel my presence – know that Im still with you
Feel that empty hole where your faith and your courage used to be.
Feel that hole filling up once again
Feel it filling up with Gods Spirit & with my love.

And so we ask: Just what is it that Johns trying to tell us
through this strange sounding story of his?
I think his message boils down simply to this:
That when Jesus was absent from his disciples hearts they were full of fear.
But when Jesus was present to them once again
their fears were removed and they were once again filled with his peace.

Somehow that night, the disciples once again felt his presence
and experienced his peace.

Somehow that night,
the disciples once again came to know Jesus as real and as present
but now in a very different way than before
And once they did that, (no matter how that all happened)
they found their faith & they found their courage restored.

You know, so many of us do really well while were in treatment
We find some faith and we find some courage here
We feel Gods presence in our lives – and we respond

But once we leave the security of the group
Once we go out of here,
especially if we go out of here alone and unchanged,
without somehow carrying God and the fellowship with us in
our hearts then watch out for the terror to return.

The apostles huddled together they too felt lost & afraid;
but they made their meeting that night and so God was with them.

Peter came to the meeting and he said:
I feel so damned guilty for what Ive done.
and as he shared his guilt his guilt was relieved.
And John the apostle Jesus loved so much
Maybe he came and he said, I feel so lost & so lonely without him –
and as he shared his loneliness
lo and behold: his loneliness went away.
But there was one of their own who missed experiencing Jesus that night.
There was one of their own who wasnt with them
He missed out on feeling Jesus healing presence in this strange, new way.

His name was Thomas
Thomas missed going to his meeting that night!
Maybe he thought he had something more important to do!

But I dont want to be too hard on poor Thomas.
Doubting Thomas is what weve called him throughout history.
And Ill bet Thomas is getting a pretty bad rap
in some of the sermons around town today.

Maybe people in churches are being told they shouldnt have doubts
like this Thomas guy did.
Maybe theyre being told that if they do have doubts
then theres something wrong with their faith!

And so, what are those people hearing that gonna do?
Theyre probably gonna repress those doubts
Theyll probably keep em hidden from the saints sitting next to em in the pew.

But one of the blessings of being alcoholic & addicts
is that we get reminded at each meeting we attend that
we are not saints

Were reminded that we all come in here with plenty of doubts and
part of getting honest is the fact that
we dont have to deny those doubts any more

All we have to do is keep an open mind and be willing to grow
along spiritual lines.

And so, for us, our growth often starts with an honest sharing of our doubts
with the people we meet in the rooms.

Ive had doubts and youve probably had them too.
Doubts that there really is a God.
Or that if God really does exists then –
Doubts that he really gives a hoot about whats going on in my life or in yours.

And Ive sure had my doubts about Jesus too
About how a little, Jewish boy could ever be called the son of God –
I struggled long & hard with that one too!

And, thank God our brother Thomas
seems to have had lots of doubts about Jesus as well.
Maybe thats why his story is the one thats repeated every year
on the very first Sunday after every Easter.

His storys told each year because in one-way or another, like the Big Book says: maybe at some level were all atheists & agnostics we all have our doubt
We dont want to live our lives on the basis of faith
we want to know for sure!

But the only way for us to know for sure is to step off the cliff not knowing!

Thomas isnt quite ready to trust and to risk taking that plunge.
So he says to his group:
Ill never believe what you guys are telling me unless I can see it for myself.
Ill never believe it till Ive put my fingers in the holes the nails made in his hands.
And put my hand into his side where they stuck him with that spear.

Thomas is definitely a little stubborn – and he has a real defiant streak in him too!
He really is starting to sound a lot like us!
(Maybe Thomas was out having a drink or getting high when he missed that meeting!)

But theres something really, really important we might also want to notice here
and that is that Jesus doesnt blame Thomas for his not believing.
I think thats really important and its something thats so easily missed!

Jesus doesnt say, Shame on you, Thomas for not believing!
Jesus isnt into shame he never was and he isnt now
But Jesus sees that Thomas is like us: hes frightened;
and so maybe Thomas needs a different kind of spiritual
experience than the one the other guys received.
And thats what Jesus offers him in this story from John.

Jesus says: Thomas, come here.
Come here and put your fingers where the nails went into me!

And then he says, Thomas, now come put your hands here in my side right here where the spear went through me.

Jesus has a special treatment program for all of us doubters
And it seems that its a kind of hands on treatment.
When our faith is weak,

the Big Book says wed better go and work with another alcoholic or addict.
When our faith is weak, we need to stop thinking, and questioning, and doubting
We need to put it all down and stop beating ourselves up for not having faith.

The Big Book reminds us that Faith is a gift
and all we can do is get ourselves ready to receive that gift.
We cant think or reason our way to faith.
But what we can do is this:

We can take the action; we can take the steps
and if & when we do were promised to find a faith that works.

Next time faith is weak or even when faith is non-existent
then maybe Jesus is inviting us to do what he invited Thomas to do.
Take the bleeding hand of another addict
whos reaching out for help as best he knows how.
Find the nail holes, or the track marks in that addicts life
and try to feel some of his pain instead of wallowing and staying stuck in our own.

God, relieve us from the bondage of self – because for us thats a killer!
See, theres always someone out there in worse shape than us.
And theres always someone out there whos further along in their spiritual growth
and able to see what we may still be blind to seeing.

We need to go seek them both out
We need to do what we can to help the one,
and we need to learn what we can about the spiritual life from the other.

And what well find when we do those two things
is our own faith coming to life in the process.
Sometimes service work is the only thing that works for us Doubting Thomases.
Sometimes Easter arrives a week late but just on time for us addicts.

And once we start doing that work, the Big Book says:
Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change.
In time, we might even start seeing a whole new world.
Its a world where Jesus still comes to share with all those
wholl risk stepping out from behind closed doors.

But like Indiana Jones, therell be times on the spiritual journey
when we have to trust and step off what might look to us like the edge of a steep cliff.

Maybe itll come in Step 4 or 5
Letting go of some secrets or some shame
that weve always been afraid to share with God or with another human being.

Or maybe itll be an amend that we know we need to make – but our pride or our fear hold us back from doing it.

Those are the times Jesus promises hell be with us.
Those are the times we need to see him breathing his spirit into us just like he did to those guys locked up in Motel Six!

Maybe hell do it at a meeting, or in our morning Quiet Time,
or maybe through words thatll jump out at us from the Big Book:

Words like:

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut & lock the door on it.
Fear will leave us!

Now, Are these extravagant promises? (cock your ear)
(Audience responds:) We think not!

Theyre being fulfilled among us sometimes quickly on Easter
or sometimes slowly a week later
just like for our Doubting Brother Thomas

But they always materialize if well just keep coming back
And theyll always appear if keep taking that next right step.

Take it even when it looks like itll lead us
right off the edge of a cliff.

Take it cause were coming to believe
like those many thousands who crossed it before us:

That hell either be there to catch us
or else hell be there and teach us how to fly!
Rarely have we seen a person fail.

Amen

Copyright 2008 Bill Wigmore. Used by permission.