Hebrews 12:14-17 – A Self-Inflicted Pain – Bible study

Hebrews 12:14-17 A Self-Inflicted Pain As the title indicates, I want to discuss a self-inflicted pain to which many people have exposed themselves. This has been done not only by the lost, but by the saved as well. The pain is bitterness. Notice these four verses go together. The writer of the book of Hebrews starts by giving us a command, "to follow after peace with all men." That means we are to seek peace with everyone, try to get along with everyone, want to get along with everyone. The writer goes from that command in \#14\ to speaking about bitterness in \#15\. There is a contrast here between peace and bitterness. You can have one or the other, but you cannot have both. What is bitterness? Bitterness is an unresolved anger. It is anger that has stewed. It is anger that has grown into a grudge and then festered. It is not pretty and it is not healthy. If bitterness made a wound on the outside of the body like it does on the inside, people would run to the doctor in fear. What does the writer of this book teach us about bitterness? I. Bitterness is A. \#14\ Bitterness is us choosing a peaceless path. 1. The command was to seek to have peace with everyone, but if we chose bitterness, we are rejecting peace and selecting bitterness. 2. That is a life without peace. a. Bitterness replaces peace with anger. (1) People with bitterness are always angry. They may not realize it, but they are. (2) They most likely think that they "GET" angry when they see the person who offended them or think about them, but they are not "getting" angry. (3) They are just pulling their anger back to the front burner where they left it stewing. (4) It was always there. (5) Sooner or later, this anger will effect your attitude, your countenance, and your health. b. Bitterness replaces peace with unhappiness. (1) Bitter people are never happy because there is something unfinished, unsatisfied in their life. (2) They NEED something bad to happen to happen to someone else or they will never be happy. (3) Now think about that. (a) A bitter person wants something bad to happen to someone else. Is that really the kind of person we want to be? (b) Additionally, first bitterness is typically toward someone we care about. i. Most would not get better over what a stranger did to us. Bitterness first comes when someone we care about does something to us. ii. After we are infected with bitterness, it can spread to strangers; but not usually at the first. iii. So bitterness has caused us to want something bad to happen to someone we once cared about. (c) But even worse, your happiness now depends on something bad happening to someone else. i. Is that really who you want to be? ii. Do you understand that is not who God wants you to be? c. Bitterness replaces peace with hate. Name it whatever you want. If you want something bad to happen to someone else, that is hate. d. Bitterness replaces peace with hurt. (1) It hurts, but it will scab over. (a) All hurt will scab over. (b) What does that mean? It means there is a spot in your heart that will always be tender if it is hit just right, but it does not have to send you to floor in tears. (c) You may be thinking, "Preacher, you dont know what you are talking about. You dont understand." i. Everyone has been hurt, but everyone doesnt become bitter. ii. You are thinking, "They have never been hurt as badly as I have." iii. No, (and I say this in love) they have just chosen not to behave as badly as you are. iv. You keep picking at the wound so that it cant scab over. v. Youve seen children and animals pick at their scab so that it cant heal. Ive seen grown men and women do it. (2) I say this in kindness. Please, quit reliving the hurt. Quit retelling it every chance you get. Quit thinking about it. Quit wishing for evil to happen to your adversary. (3) Let the hurt go. Let the wound scab over. Follow after peace. e. Bitterness replaces God with the devil. (1) Please understand that I am trying to be nice, but we must face facts as they are and not as we would like for them to be. (2) Peace is a gift from God. Bitterness is an affliction of the devil. B. \#15\ Bitterness is us failing to accept Gods grace. 1. Remember that grace is God working in and through us to accomplish His will. 2. For the Christian, grace is always there, attempting to accomplish what God wants in every situation. 3. A Christian cannot be hurt and grace not show up. a. That is the same thing as saying you got hurt and God did not show up. b. Friend, God never left you. Hes always with us. 4. If we chose to be bitter, we are also choosing to reject Gods grace. 5. God is always present to help us to forgive, to heal, to learn, and help us to continue with dignity. a. Dont send God and His grace away and then pretend you are someones victim. b. Christians are never a victim. They are always a victor. Romans 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors 1John 5:4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. 5 Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God? John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. 6. Dont send grace away! C. \#15\ Bitterness is us defiling ourselves. 1. To defile means to contaminate. 2. I will admit that I do not know much about contamination, but from what I understand it happens when something that does not belong gets into something else and ruins it. a. The thing that is ruining some people is bitterness. b. It does not belong in anyone. c. It defiles everyone. D. \#16\ Bitterness is us behaving like Esau. 1. Bitterness filled Esau with hatred and murder for his brother. 2. There was no doubt that Jacob had wronged Esau, but what Jacob did to Esau was not as bad as what Esau did to Esau. a. Bitterness is never about what another person did to you. b. Bitterness is always about what you are doing to yourself. c. Bitter people like to argue that they were wronged and have the right to be bitter. (1) Yes and no. (2) Yes, you may have been wronged. (3) But no, you do not have the right to hurt yourself. d. Esau was the victim UNTIL bitterness drove him to to become his own perpetrator! 3. When that happened, Esau became a profane person. a. Esaus bitterness heathenized him, made wicked. b. We must remember that Esau was raised by godly parents! 4. Listen to what Peter said to Simon the sorcerer. Acts 8:23 For I perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity. a. We do not know anything more of this mans life than what the Bible reveals, but Peterlead by the Holy Ghostunderstood that this mans wrong thinking and behavior was a result of bitterness in his life. b. Peter called it the gall or the bile of bitterness. c. Peter was saying bitterness had worked its way into this mans inner most being and corrupted him. d. Whatever was done to Simon earlier in his life, no one else put that kind of bile in his inner most being but him. Proverbs 5:22 His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins. e. He defiled himself! 5. That is what Esau ALMOST DID. a. Had Jacob not fled, Esau might well have killed or at least attempted to kill Jacob. b. Esau was being swept away by the devil and his emotions. c. Yet something happened to Esau during Jacobs twenty year absence that caused him to forgive, embrace, and love his brother when he returned. d. The Bible does not focus on Esau but it would appear that while God was working on Jacob in Padan-Aram, He was also working on Esau in Canaan. II. Bitterness must be released. A. As with so many truths, I know that is easier to say that it is to do, especially if you have been stewing over something for a long while. B. Let me give you some Bible verses and some counsels: 1. Bible verses: Romans 6:17 But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. a. The secret is always to obey God. b. To obey God sets you free. c. When it comes to dealing with past hurt, God command us to forgive. Col 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Mark 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. 2. Some counsels: a. Quit reliving your hurt in your heart. b. Quit retelling it. In fact, make a pledge to yourself that you will never mention it again. c. Quit wishing for punishment to your offender. Instead pray for them. Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; This is what you do not just for the sake of the person who hurt you, but for your own sake. You have hurt yourself long enough. Let it go and move on with your life.