James 1:19-25 – Why Fathers Fail – Bible study

James 1:19-25 Why Fathers Fail? Being a good father and husband is a tough job. In fact, it is one of the toughest. i think that is why so many men run from it. 23.6% of US children (17.4 million) lived in father absent homes in 2014. http://fatherhoodfactor.com/us-fatherless-statistics/ That certainly has an impact. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average. 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average. 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control) 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes -14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26) 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report) https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/ But there is another kind of fatherless home, the one where the father dumps all of the responsibility on the mother. While there are no statistics on those kinds of homes, I can tell you that those do not fair very well either. I. Notice some great men who made for bad fathers. A. Eli 1. Good man who judged Israel for 40 years. Not only did he serve as their ruler, he was also their High Priest. 2. Yet, his sons were very wicked. a. At the least they were thieves, thugs, adulterers, and blasphemers. b. While the Bible tells us that Eli did scold them, that is all he did. 3. Eli had to do more than that on two accounts: a. He was their father and it is the fathers calling to direct the childrens behavior. b. Even more, he was the High Priest and he was called to make certain that the worship of God was conducted properly. 4. What was Elis failing? 1Sam 2:30 Be it far from me; for them that honour me I will honour, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed. a. He honored his children more than he honored God and His Word. b. How do we see that? Eli did not do what God told him to do. B. Adam Ge 4:8 Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him. 1. Cain and Abel were two of Adams sons, the first two. 2. The Bible does not tell us much about Adam after the fall, but I am going to suppose that the Bibles silence means the man was a good man. 3. However, it does not take much imagination to see that what happened not only in the lives of Adams sons but in the whole human race came about because of Adam and Eves sin. 4. God has specifically given them the command not to eat of forbidden fruit and they disobeyed the Word of the Lord. C. King David 1. Whereas we know very little of Adams life, we know a lot about Davids. 1Kings 1:5 Then Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, I will be king: and he prepared him chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him. 6 And his father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why hast thou done so? and he also was a very goodly man; and his mother bare him after Absalom. 2. David was a great king (the greatest) and a great servant of God (one of the greatest); but he was a terrible husband and father. a. He had eight wives that we know of and an unknown number of concubines. b. By the way, that was still wrong. (1) \#Ge 1:27\ It was wrong because God made marriage "male and female" not "male and females." (a) "God let him." (b) God did show some leniency, but that does not make a wrong right. (c) Just because you can does not make a wrong right. (2) \#Deut 17:17\ strictly forbade the king from having many wives. c. So David disobeyed Gods Word in having these wives. 3. But God also disobeyed Gods word in the rearing of his children. a. If anyone disciplined the children at all, it was the mothers and the nanniesnot David. b. Which is strange because as a king, David dealt out justice to the whole nation and beyond, but never in his own home did he correct the wrong of his children. c. How did his children turn out? Two tried to over- throw him, one raped a sister, one murdered a brother, and one tried to kill him. II. What does all of this teach? It teaches that no matter how good the man, no matter how successful he may be in other ventures, no man can be a good father who does not honor God and His Word. What causes fathers to fail? They do not honor God and His Word. III. James teaches us what it means to honor the Word of God. A. \#James 1:19\ He would appear that he is talking to men. 1. Not just because he uses the word brethren." 2. But because of what he says. a. Be swift to hear. b. Slow to speak. c. Slow to wrath. 3. I am no master at any of these. Most men have a problem with these three things. These three combine to give us two truths. a. Listen, dont speak. b. Listen, dont get angry. B. These are given to us as principals in life, but also ways to honor God and His Word. (Notice \#23\. It shows where his conversation was going.) 1. Listen, dont speak. a. Men have an innate need to fix things. b. I remember in years gone by my wife trying to talk to me and telling me, "I dont need to fix it. I just need you to listen to me." (1) I thought that was the strangest thing. Why is she telling me this if she does not want me to help her with it. (2) I also thought that was just an area of diversity between me and Kathy. Then I saw a skit on the internet and realized it was not just us. A couple sat on the sofa talking and she was complaining about having headaches and not being able to sleep. He was sitting there, uncomfortably trying to control himself. Sitting on his hands, biting his lips, wrapping his arms around him. Then it showed the woman talking. She had a big spike coming out of her forehead and he could not refrain himself any longer. He pointed to the spike and started to say, "But if we just remove this." And she interrupted, "I told you I dont need you to fix anything, I just need you to listen." c. Friend, God does need us to fix anything, at least not until we listen to His Word. 2. \#19-20\ Listen, dont argue. a. And again, most men have a problem agreeing with others. (1) Men are opinionated. (2) I think that comes from the fact that God has called men to be the leadersthat and the fact that we are a bit arrogant. (3) For many of us, it is a condition that we need to reign in some. b. However, when it comes to God and His Word, we do not need to merely reign it in. We need to chunk it out. c. When it comes to the Word of God: (1) There are no discussion, no debates, no bargains, and no compromises. (2) Whatever the Word of God says, it is the right thing to do. It will insure glory to God, goodness for yourself, and happiness for your home. (3) In talking to the young people this week, I was listing some proofs that Jesus and the Bible were true and trustworthy. (4) The truthfulness and power of the Word of God. (5) Arguing against the Word of God is like arguing to have a good arm or leg amputated. You are only hurting and crippling yourself and your home. C. \#19\ There are two more ways these two verses give us to honor the word. 1. Be swift to hear the Word. Be quick to hear. a. The idea is to be standing ready to hear the Word of God. b. It like the soldier who is already on alert. He knows orders are coming, he just does not know when. (1) When they come, he is to be able to move immediately. (2) All liberties have been cancelled. He is ready for deployment. His goodbyes have been given. c. This is how we should be eagerly awaiting Gods Word. d. No preacher should ever have to run down a Christian to tell him what God says. Christians should be standing in line outside the door of church in anticipation of hearing something from God. 2. There is another truth which is revealed in the original language of this text. a. The verb tense is present tense, meaning we are to keep on listening. b. It is never, "I listened for Gods Word." c. It is always, "I am listening for Gods Word." D. \#23\ Obey the Word 1. Here is the crown jewel of honoring God and His Word. You obey Him. a. A faith that stops in your head is a fake faith. b. Christianity is not meant to be believed, It is meant to be acted upon. a. It is obvious to me that to most people, acting on what you believe is beyond them. b. They call Christians who actually live what they believe fanatical. So be it. Mt 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 2. James gave us some examples of fake faith. a. \#26\ Let the Word of God change your speech. James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this mans religion is vain. b. \#27\ Let the Word of God work through you to help others. James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction. c. \#21\ Let the Word of God change you. James 1:21 Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. 3. A fake faith that does nothing with you will do nothing for you. If your faith does not change you, it will not get you into heaven either. a. Listen to the Word, father. b. Yield to the Word. c. Obey it. d. It will make you a successful man, husband, and father. 4. \#24-25\ James compares someone who knows the Bible and does not obey it to someone who sees something wrong in their mirror reflection but does not fix it. a. The wrong will still be there. b, You are going to look funny if not foolish. c. It wont be the mirror or the manufacturer of the mirrors fault. Dad, if you want to be successful, honor God and honor His Word.